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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to need a survival guide for DH's broken leg incident??

91 replies

SpareRoomSleeper · 23/07/2011 13:04

DH has broken his tibia bone on his right leg, and has just come home from a week in hospital. He had an operation on the leg, where a metal rod and screws were inserted into the leg to give support to the bone. So as injuries go, it is painful and he is very very dependent on me at the mo. He's using a zimmer frame to walk afew steps to exercise, but at the moment its a big challenge for him as op was only done 3 days ago.

Anyway!

I just know that he is going to drive me bonkers sat on the sofa all day. I already told him earlier, (rather harshly) that he'd only had a leg injury, not a brain injury. Blush...

So ladies, am I being unreasonable to ask for some tips and advice on how to "manage" this situation over the next couple of weeks? Because DH takes ALOT of looking after. And I have a DD (2) (who has been taken out for the day by his parents)....

OP posts:
LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 23/07/2011 13:05

Well probably best to set up some sort of table with remote, drink, snacks, books bell etc

LadyThumb · 23/07/2011 13:06

Remote for TV - check
Laptop (if you have one) - check
Tissues - check
Empty milk container (for wee) - check
Gaffer tape (for his mouth) - check !!!!!

Original poster
SpareRoomSleeper · 23/07/2011 13:07

love , done that already.

OP posts:
MindtheGappp · 23/07/2011 13:07

Aw, that is so bad for him. I imagine that for every frustration you have about the situation, he feels it ten-fold.

He is probably feeling completely useless, so get him doing tasks that he can, eg reading to your DS, chopping the vegetables etc.

AnyFucker · 23/07/2011 13:07

Just hang on a second

Is your DH otherwise incapacitated/weakened by eg. other medical conditions ?

If not, there is no way he should be sitting on the sofa all day while you administer to him.

he should be up and about on crutches. A grown man can easily hop around and see to his own needs

He isn't a poorly toddler.

Tell him to get a fucking grip, seriously

If you wait on him, you are a mug

Original poster
SpareRoomSleeper · 23/07/2011 13:07

lady...the tape, the tape, where can I get some!!! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
SpareRoomSleeper · 23/07/2011 13:10

Jesus anyfucker..I thought I was bad! He's not a poorly toddler but hes got a serious leg injury. The surgeon specifically told me that he can exercise on his leg only afew steps at a time. Thats hardly going to get him to do much for himself, is it?

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 23/07/2011 13:13

I think Anyfucker has a good point. He can hop. He can use crutches and not put any pressure on the bad leg. He can get around many ways without using that leg.

unomania · 23/07/2011 13:14

Anyfucker- I guess you've never had a broken leg

AnyFucker · 23/07/2011 13:15

He can do lots of things NWB (non weight bearing)

I wouldn't expect him to be mowing the lawn Wink but he can see to his own needs

You shouldn't be waiting on him

"DH takes a LOT of looking after"

only if you are willing to do it

some women will insist on being a martyr Hmm

honeybehappy · 23/07/2011 13:17

Thats abit harsh AF, If it was 3 weeks after the op then yeah but 3 bloody days??? when DH had a broken ankle i was more than happy to take care of him rather than see him struggle. Although he refused to be put in plaster (had a big boot thing) so he could get back to work as soon as he could walk on it.

MindtheGappp · 23/07/2011 13:18

Hopping it not good. It puts the other leg at risk.

The OP and her DH need to follow medical advice. I'm sure the orthopaedics and physiotherapists have given him a program for returning to reasonable mobility and independence.

He really doesn't have man-flu!

AnyFucker · 23/07/2011 13:18

uno, yes I have

and I have worked with many, many, many more people who have too

he should be up on crutches, hopping around, not putting his foot to the floor of course

the zimmer frame is meant to be temporary, post op...unless he is 80 yo of course

you can get up and down stairs, around the house, even out of the house etc on crutches

maybe not in the first few days, but Op seems to be anticipating weeks of "looking after" her DH

it's madness

squeakytoy · 23/07/2011 13:20

"hopping" while you have rods and screws newly implanted is not a great idea, its very fucking painful too...

AnyFucker · 23/07/2011 13:20

he shouldn't have been sent home from hospital if he coudn't molilise independently around the house

AnyFucker · 23/07/2011 13:20

mobilise

ifancyashandy · 23/07/2011 13:20

And speaking as someone who did 6 months on crutches with a broken leg, it's worth remembering that the simplest of jobs become Herculean tasks! Presume he is not allowed to bear any weight at mo? Then he can't carry anything as both arms needed to propel weight on crutches.

Fill the kettle? Nope, needs hands!
Carry glass of water? See above!
Make sarnie? Umm... Look upwards again!

I lived alone. Had to move in with parents for a while. Yup, it's that bad! Grin.

And, in all seriousness, it's worse at the beginning as you ate terrified of falling off the crutches.

Also, from a medical POV, he needs to keep his leg elevated to stop it swelling. Is he in a plaster?

Sorry, but while he gets to grips with this, he does need extra help.

A good thing to get him is a bum bag to carry stuff about in. Normal bags cause you to be off balance - not fun on crutches! Also, a grippy thing, (like they give old people who can't bend down) is useful if he drops things. And I spent a fair amount of time in a wheelchair - meant I could carry things on my lap.

And you need valium wine, to help you cope!

latitude · 23/07/2011 13:21

You have my sympathy OP,
Anyfucker- I think to expect him to be hopping around 3 days after the operation is expecting a bit much to be honest

MindtheGappp · 23/07/2011 13:22

Why not? If he has support at home, this is better than being dependent on institutionalised care.

Original poster
SpareRoomSleeper · 23/07/2011 13:22

Anyfucker, Im not entering into this ridiculous debate with you. You seem to have serious issues with a woman looking after her husband, even if hes broken his leg - I think ^that^ is madness!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 23/07/2011 13:22

if he is otherwise fit and healthy he should not be expecting to spend the next several weeks on the sofa, being looked after by his wife

AnyFucker · 23/07/2011 13:23

suit yourself, just trying to save you some un-necessary donkey work < shrug >

Original poster
SpareRoomSleeper · 23/07/2011 13:24

thanks latitude and ifancy....Yes, he does need to keep it elevated, its quite badly swollen after it came out of the plaster. And no, he cant bear weight on it at the moment.

His brother has brought the ps3 around, so Im going for a nice long bath!

OP posts:
MindtheGappp · 23/07/2011 13:26

In sickness and in health, af.

YellowDinosaur · 23/07/2011 13:27

Anyfucker is taking it too far. But does (to some extent) have a point. There will be lots of things he can't do and as a supportive wife you need to do all you can to try and make things easier for him as you clearly are.

However he won't be doing anyone least of all himself if he sits on his arse all day. Apart from anything else he is already at increased risk of DVT and PE (blood clots in the legs that can break away and move to the lungs with serious if not fatal results) by having had the injury and surgery in the first place. He is only increasing his risk further if he doesn't mobilise at all. He needs to be mobilising as much as he possibly can within the limitations of pain and being non weight bearing and if he was in a hospital this would be an important part of his recovery.

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