to think that the world (or at least MN) is divided into those who think that life if a constant battle and if you aren't striving and fighting you might as well be dead, and those who think that as

[Ormirian]

it goes life is pretty OK and mostly things are fine and perfectly acceptable and by and large most people are quite nice?

Because I am the latter.

And I think that too many people are the former.

I don't know how they do it. They are tiring just to watch.

I could give you two examples from my own friends but it's too much effort to type it up. They seem to be afraid that if they stop paddling for two second together they will sink.

Which side are you on? A paddler or a floater (so to speak? )

Nope. Aims and ambitions are to just get through life comfortably. I have been in the same job for 15years because I like it, I have good T&Cs and it's convenient for home/school. I could probably 'do much better' elsewhere but it isn't my priority. DH retrained as a teacher 19years ago and it took him 16 of those to get into teaching as he just floated from one different job to another. We wanted to move to a bigger house but it took us about 6 years to finally manage it. During that time I was madly paddling to cope with 3 DC, not enough money, DH working 12 hour days or irregulat shifts, depression etc.

I have a friend who has made herself a millionaire with various businesses she has set up over the last decade. She has got married for the third time, bought and renovated a huge house, and a second home abroad, and has now sold her latest business and is starting a new one. They don't need the money but they still keep working. She wears me out!

Why does this have to fucking happen on every thread? (oh yes, you have it easy blah blah)

It stops people posting (unless they have something miserable to say) and we dont get variety of opinions/lifestyles/attitudes.

OP was not berating anyone...

title: " ..divided into those who think that life if a constant battle and if you aren't striving and fighting you might as well be dead, "

That sounds like berating to me - particularly the "think that"; if not a bit sneery. Like those of us who battle somehow enjoy it ffs. I certainly don't and my life has been a constant fucking battle if truth be told. I have learnt to keep it quiet though because it offends the sensibilities of the 'floaters' and I could do without that.

grrrr and grrrrrrrrrr again.

I can't say I am surprised laquitar. It seems to be happen a lotl It happened once before on one of the threads I started that I thought was entirely innocent

But I am genuinely sorry if it offended you spring It wasn't meant to.

Ffs she doesn't mean paddling to survive. She meant those who have 'itchy feet', thats how i read the op.

eh? stops people posting because we don't get a variety of opinions etc? I am posting an opinion, which is that some people have very difficult lives and also, as one of them, I frequently come up against an impatience from people whose lives swim along. I'm not saying anything either way re that paddlers or floaters are better/worse, just that I wish I could do a bit of floating sometimes and I'm a bit baffled that floaters can't see that most paddlers don't actually enjoy it.

Springy my life certainly has not been easy. However, I choose the floating route because I figure 'the worst that can happen' probably isn't as bad as things I've already been through. The shit that life has chucked at me make me appreciate the little things much more.

Interestingly, my floating tendencies are a direct result of my life being really fucking hard at times. Many years ago, in response to a hideous event in my life, I decided that I could only maintain my sanity and some semblance of happiness if I let go of a lot of shit. So now I float along and am happy if somewhat unfulfilled at times, rather than frantically paddling towards a complete mental breakdown.

Just sayin'.

orm I am probably like your friend..I wake up most mornings raring to go. And give me a long train/plane journey and I'll pull out a blank piece of paper and start listing all the things I wanna do/places I wanna go.

I suspect I do wear folk out .

I am always very intrigued by those thta have an inherent ability to be content. I just don't have that quality.
That said, I'm very happy and a bit of a Pollyanna.

aw forgiven, Ormirian. Like, totally

I guess I could stop paddling and lose my home. Maybe that's an option (actually, part of me is being serious! I've certainly thought of it). that's financial 'paddling' but there are any number of 'paddling' people have to do, who don't have any kind of safety net beneath. Perhaps all of us could have a think about our safety nets, present or absent. I'm often fayre astonied at the people who breeze along saying omg like chill, who have parents/family/money/support locked firmly in place. Layers and layers of it.

I think of myself as a floater, happy to go through life avoiding confrontation, find easy logical solutions to as much as possible, but I find I have to paddle more due to stuff that others 'dump' on me.

Now I am learning more and more to divert situations but it troubles me that most of the stress in my life is from situations created by others rather than self generated.

But it is because I am emotionally lazy, and we are a long time dead. I have dreams and aspirations and ambitions but am not going to snarly myself up in the process.

wordfactory i am at those who wake up full of beans and ready to go. My dh and dcs avoid me in the mornings.

Regarding taking on projects i think it is how you deal with stress, i know that after a certain point i will not deal well so i try not to put myself there if i dont have to. For that reason i dont take big financial risks, i dont have the stomach for that, so i will never be very rich. Others can cope better with risks.

Agree with your last para laquitar. I am by nature a floater and a contemplater.....being forced into constant (and not very efficient) hectic paddling made me quite ill. i was on ads for 3 years. My head is NOT built for stress and risk.

I think that perhaps I am a sloth.

I have also found that having children has made me less adventurous. I have found that I can cope with more when I have to but I choose to take on less iyswim.

laq you make very good points about stress. Some people really suffer from it and it makes them ill. Thsoe people should avoid taking on too much if they can. Obviously some things are unavoidable and that must be a horrible thing to have to live with.

This will sound starnge perhaps but I find flaoting quite stressful. I don't know why...

orm I think I became even more ambitious etc when I had DC. It acted as a wake up call to me.

Funny how we're all so different.

I don't think it's strange to find floating stressful - when you float you allow the current to move you. If you like control that is horrible stressful. My friend's eldest DD is similar to her mum, ie super-ambitious and energetic. She also hates the countryside because she has no control over things like the weather, cows and mud It makes her very cross...

Mary I often wonder if floaters and paddlers can have successful marriages. Obviously they can .

I think I would drive a floater nuts with all my plans and schemes.

i wonder whether the paddling/floating may also become stressful when you expect others to behave in the same way you do (as in all aspects of behaviour really). my mother really struggled with my teenage brothers when all they wanted to do during the summer holidays was lie in bed rather than train for next season's rugby

likewise if you're a floater and others around you are pressing you to make active plans you could feel stressed and resentful if you feel you've been pushed to make decisions you weren't ready for