to think that the world (or at least MN) is divided into those who think that life if a constant battle and if you aren't striving and fighting you might as well be dead, and those who think that as

[Ormirian]

it goes life is pretty OK and mostly things are fine and perfectly acceptable and by and large most people are quite nice?

Because I am the latter.

And I think that too many people are the former.

I don't know how they do it. They are tiring just to watch.

I could give you two examples from my own friends but it's too much effort to type it up. They seem to be afraid that if they stop paddling for two second together they will sink.

Which side are you on? A paddler or a floater (so to speak? )

I paddle, but my life is pretty drama free, apart from unavoidables like family illnesses and such. Most of my efforts are geared towards the voluntary work I do - I would find it difficult to not do this, knowing the need was there. Howewever, I do try very hard to work on the balance of things and am happy to step back when the balance goes the wrong way and have built time into my schedule for pleasure. By being very organised and methodical (and an incorrigible list writer) I can make sure I get things done and then have wholehearted time for pleasure such as my quilting. Guilt is completely pointless, and I have also found myself being very liberated by hardly watching any TV these days. It also helps that DH and I are very close and constantly discuss what's important to us - we both enjoy planning and thinking about things, so by the time we do something we've tried hard to work out how much time and effort it will take and its relative priority in the scheme of things.

I'm a paddler, even worse, I love planning where I'm paddling next. I never ever stop having ideas of where to visit and what to do. It must be very tiring for others, but I do love paddling. Floating makes me edgy, although when I'm tired, I float for a day, then start paddling again!

A paddler, and a planner and schemer. It is so well executed I generally get where I want to be relatively effortlessly.

Cannot abide floating. It would be a slow death for me.

I am exactly what Norks said in her first post :)

Trying to teach myself to paddle a bit every now and then, though.

Floaty Paddler.

I alternate between paddler and floater I float for as long as I can, and paddle as hard as I need to.

I like to float with forward momentum

I think when you have to paddle furiously to stay afloat, especially if you're a happy floater by nature, then it is not so great.

it's how you react to life's events that makes you gain respect for yourself - as well as help to gain respect from others.

again, I say really!!!

Sorry, but I am just too knackered and overwhelmed by stuff atm to give a shit about whether people don't respect me for collapsing into a heap on the floor.

I am definatly a floater. No matter what life throws my way I overcome it and press on. That is not to say I don't complain about it as it happens though because sometimes I want to have the opportunity to be a floater. I get so upset when people who have it easy complain.

hazeyjane theres a lot to be said for recognising that sometimes it's ok to collapse in a heap. I have a lot of respect for people who can admit their own feelings and don't always have to pretend to themselves or everyone else that everything is wonderful :)

I think we need clarification. A 'paddler', in this instance, isn't someone who paddlers to stay afloat. A paddler is someone who paddles to stay ahead. Even when there's no-one in front.....

We all paddle when we need to I imagine. Until recently I paddled like a mad thing because if i didn't we'd be up shit creek without a ...well,a paddle But now things have got easier I am only paddling from time to time - like a duck simply keeping abreast of the current.

I am a mixture, mainly a floater. But sometimes I am a paddler because I experience life as hard with poor health and little support. Sometimes the capacity to float is just based on the fact you have alot of support and lifeguards, and can take it easy. I would do a little laughing icon here if I knew how!

p.s. I like Lorilee's quote above though!

I think it is about having the competitive gene in you or not.

Definitely a floater

I think it's nicer to self-identify as a floater though - no-one likes to think they have to work twice as hard as their peers to get to the same point of the river.

Paddlers at work stress me out - the sort of people who can't sit and have a cup of tea without faffing about thinking about their to-do list.

Floaters probably have better mental health.

And I do have a very hunky lifeguard

paddler through and through here.

I like being in constant motion, always looking out for new opportunities and ideas. Always planning and schemeing. Fortunately DH is similar or we'd drive each other mad.

Whenever I try to float a bit more (usually because someone thinks I should as opposed to me being stressed) I find that lethargy sets in and I become bored and irritable.

Orm - I'm feckin' drowning!

I think life (and therefore MN) is full of an awful lot of hysterical 'can't cope' types....people who get their knickers in a twist about pretty ordinary things.

I know quite a few mums who seem to get in such a tizz about things like: going to the supermarket with kids, driving with kids, going on holiday, getting ready for school etc.

I don't understand the hysteria and panic to be honest.

I think I'm a treading water -er. I'd love to be a floater but I've got so much to do that I find it hard to chill out even when I am 'allowed' to. I plan lots because I have to, everything is a real juggling act. But I don't get worked up about 'random comment from random person in a shop' scenarios and try and remember to count my blessings regularly.

omg! It very much depends what life deals out to you OP. Some people have very difficult lives, some people don't. Perhaps instead of berating those who are genuinely struggling to keep afloat, you could be grateful that your life is such that you have the luxury to float.

Yes spring!
Sorry spring!

But I don't think I was berating anyone....

And try reading some of my later posts. Or alternatively don't bother. Life's too short.

I agree with hazeyjane I think this is being discussed as if either we are born with paddler/floater tendencies or it's a kind of choice we make.

I think this just goes to show that most people here on MN are pretty lucky. Few of us are in the situation that we HAVE to paddle.

Can I ask you orm and indeed all the floaters out there...don't you have plans and ambitions and stuff you wanna do?

And if so, how do you go about getting them?

kind of x post with springy because I agree that this kind of discussion is a bit of a luxury.

However, I really don't think that OP was berating anyone.

I'm definitely floating/drifting/coasting but things have worked out ok. I'm relatively happy, DCs and DH seem to be too. But, I do know floaters who are unfortunately forced to turn into furious paddlers. Just depends on luck/karma/fate whatever you want to call it. For some people, life really is a constant battle and nothing in their life turns out right. Even someone who is failry optimistic can see that some people's lives do keep taking a turn for the worse and there is just no avoiding it. When that happens constantly, it must be hard for these furious paddlers to deal with happy go lucky floaters. Must make them want to smack us in the face!