Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why more people don't help at PTA events ... and what would encourage more people to do so ...

409 replies

onthebus · 21/07/2011 13:29

In common with many other schools, our PTA had its annual summer fayre a couple of weeks ago. The school has quite a small PTA (about 6 people) and every year for this event they send out a note asking for volunteers for people to help set up/run stalls/clear away. Every year about 2 people volunteer and the PTA then run themselves ragged trying to do everything (and generally failing).

I'm not on the PTA by the way, though I do offer to help, and it strikes me that this really can't be the best way for anyone.

I understand that some people don't help because they are looking after small children/are at work/think the PTA are too scary/just don't want to but I'm really surprised that so few do. I did suggest to PTA members that if they actually asked people rather than sending out a note they might get more helpers but they are loathe to do this.

So ... I think most people appreciate that funds raised by the PTA are worthwhile. If you do/don't help out at PTA events, why is that, and what do you think would encourage you/other people to do so?

OP posts:
yellowkiwi · 21/07/2011 16:08

Our school PTA (and the school in general) is very cliquey. When DS started there the Chair of the PTA sent a token email asking new parents to get involved by attending the next meeting or emailing her, I emailed straight back as I was really keen to get involved but she didn't even reply.

I'm another one who can't make evening meetings either. I think I am one of the few lone parents at the school.

lazylula · 21/07/2011 16:17

I have wanted to help out with the Christmas fayre and Summer fete but the Christmas one was the day after ds1's birthday and the day before his prty so we popped in for half an hour but I was cake decorating and preparing food ect and with the summer one, dd was only tiny still so didn't want to leave her.

sproggaaaaah · 21/07/2011 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itisnearlysummer · 21/07/2011 16:23

Happymumofone Oh there was definitely a clique at mine. If I made a suggestion it got ignored. If I offered some help or knowledge it got ignored. I did as much as I could but ended up dreading the meetings.

I'm planning on joining my DD's PTA in September. My DH said he wanted to join but hasn't done so yet, so I think I will. They appear to be a very un-cliquey lot!

MoreBeta · 21/07/2011 16:26

There are a number of reasons.

  1. PTA is generally populated by a clique of intimidating SAHMs with too much time on their hands.
  1. Most parents just send their kids to school and expect them to arrive back home having been taught something without the need for further involvement
  1. The events are not enjoyable - they are just a chore
  1. Most people assume they pay their tax to pay for state school or if private they pay fees so why the need for fund raising? In the end all the money comes out of the same pockets so why mess about and let's just pay the tax of pay the fees.
  1. Most people are just too busy or tired or harrased in the rest of their life.
ibbydibby · 21/07/2011 16:28

The thing is there are lots of different ways of helping. Sweetheart if you wanted to help out, but cited the reasons you have listed, then I would ask you if you could man a stall for an hour or so, or do something at an event that you were attending. But, if you don't want to help then that is fine, and it is great that you are willing and able to attend events.

The difficulty (for me) is when we put on an event, and afterwards someone says "you should have done x/y/z", or "a/b/c" wasn't very well manned this year, or similar, and the criticism/comment is from a parent who has not offered to help.

Honeymom, am really shocked when you say that PTAs "think of shit ways to rip people of and call it fundraising"....am sure that most PTAs are not about this at all, and are very careful to keep prices as low as possible. It is after all for the benefit of the school - we are frequently having to point out that none of it is for ouw own benefit.....

Insomnia11 · 21/07/2011 16:28

Thanks ibbydibby.

Carrotsandcelery · 21/07/2011 16:28

I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if this has been repeated but there is the option of sending out notes with the sort of list Piprabbit came up with, with boxes to tick the activity you wish to help with, to be returned to the school. It might get some over that hurdle of approaching someone in the playground to say, "I want to help with..." and coerce some others into volunteering rather than return a blank form.

Once they have helped out once they might find they enjoyed it and are more keen to help the next time.

Our village has built a strong sense of community through helping each other out at these events. No one is expected to attend or help at them all - we nearly all do our fair share. If people are having tough times they can sit back for a while and others will "carry" them.

Carrotsandcelery · 21/07/2011 16:29

6 sounds a very tiny committee by the way. We have a very small school and we have about 20 parents on the PTA and a couple of teachers too. People are happier to be on it as they know there are plenty people on it to share the load.

MoreBeta · 21/07/2011 16:31

Incidentally, I would like to be a parent Governor but at DSs school you have to be nominated by someone already on the Governing Body so that is even more of a clique. They never speak or communicate to parents - ever.

Kladdkaka · 21/07/2011 16:32

Certainly in my case it's not that I didn't want to help, I did and stuck it out for a year. But a vocal and controlling portion of the PTA were downright unpleasant and would band together to silence any dissenting voice.

The final straw for me was when one of the clique's husbands ran a mini-marathon and got parents and their families to sponsor him in aid of PTA funds. She collected the money in but never handed it over to the PTA. I felt that this was wrong, probably illegal, impacted the PTAs charity status, broke the trust of the parents who had given the money etc. The clique felt that it wasn't a big issue, that it was up to her after all it was her husband who ran the race and it wasn't a huge amount anyway. I resigned on principle.

complexnumber · 21/07/2011 16:34

I am a teacher on the PTA committee at my school. They are a fantastic group of predominately (but not exclusively) mums. They bring with them a huge range of skills that we would just not be able to access without their generous contributions of time.

We have a rather glib saying "Volunteers aren't paid, not because they are worthless, but because they are priceless"

Mine is an International school in the ME, kids aged 3 - 18

ibbydibby · 21/07/2011 16:34

sprog thanks for these suggestions of specific tasks, think will incorporate these into a letter to go out early in Sep!

Insomnia11 · 21/07/2011 16:36

Most people assume they pay their tax to pay for state school or if private they pay fees so why the need for fund raising? In the end all the money comes out of the same pockets so why mess about and let's just pay the tax of pay the fees.

Then in that case most people have no idea about the state of school funding in this country, or how their own school has to scrimp and save to afford even the basics. Local authorities don't actually hand out classroom equipment or books like sweets.

If the events aren't enjoyable, then they are doing something wrong. People keep asking me when the next Quiz Night is as they enjoyed the last one so much, or can we have two a year?

ibbydibby · 21/07/2011 16:37

Kladdkaka that's awful, not surprised you resigned. Surely what he did was illegal? Were you tempted to ask for your money back, as you had sponsored him on specfic terms?

zookeeper · 21/07/2011 16:41

I'm a lone parent and the meetings are in the evening when childcare is a problem. I also have the feeling that if jhelp out once I'll always be asked.

I think if I were to get a specific letter asking for me to help for a specific slot of time on a given day i would try to do it though

Riveninside · 21/07/2011 16:42

'Its a shame that people dont want to help, given it can only enhance their childs time at school yet they are quite happy to sit back and let their children benefit from others hard work.'

yup. I send mine to school for respite and childcare. So I dont have to home educate having done that for 9 years.

notso · 21/07/2011 16:44

The PTA at DC's school is made up of the following,
one extremely loud and opinionated mum will listen to anyone,
one fulltime Nan equally opinionated gets to school at 2.30 for a 3.15 pick up in order to network,
one ancient ex dinner lady will possibly explode if she cannot run the cake stall,
one teacher also has children at the school, extremely money grabbing,
one old teacher, very bossy,
a few down-trodden helpers inclcluding myself.
The core PTA will not make any changes to the way things are done despite asking for new ideas.
They cannot understand why parents don't want to buy stuff to donate, then pay massive prices for the chance to win the stuff back, or worse IMO pay to win back old secondhand crap.
I suggested when DD was in reception that rather than asking people to send stuff in for the fayres they have a non uniform day and the children have to bring in a new item for a prize or £1 and the PTA buy prizes with the money.
Also suggested charging less for the games (20-30p rather than 50p-£1) and having cheaper prizes.
Finally in year 6 they did it and made a record ammount though bossy mum has claimed the credit.

Kladdkaka · 21/07/2011 17:16

ibbydibby I did ask for it back but would get knarked at by the others for being mean.

ibbydibby · 21/07/2011 17:28

Kladdkaka I am just Shock.

Greenshadow · 21/07/2011 17:35

I am a bit of a PTA groupie :)

I have been on the committee at 3 different schools, including one secondary school.

I've never really experienced the clique thing (and no, it's definitely not because I am part of one - I am the least cliquey person around).

We've always had just about enough helpers, both on committees and those volunteering to help at events. My secondary school has just sent an email out to all parents asking for volunteers to help do refreshments at school events (something we do a lot) and received about 12 replies. Some of these people also offered to come along to PTA meetings too.

I think that you have to make it easy for people - give them forms with boxes to tick offering services (and make sure you follow it up pronto), publicise meetings and when helping at / running events, make sure parents are aware that you are the PTA.

Greenshadow · 21/07/2011 17:37

Oh, and why do I help?

Probably selfish reasons - like to be involved in the school in some small way. Also actually enjoy organising events. Started helping while still a SAHM and it gave me something to exercise my brain a bit (helped with the old CV too).

motherinferior · 21/07/2011 17:38

OK, what works?

Thanks. Nice thank you cards. Sent to each person who helps at, eg, the summer barbecue. Our PTA does this. It is very, very nice of the committee members to do it and of course I help again.

Specific requests and being nagged Blush but nicely. I like our PTA stalwarts. If they keep asking me, I'll do it.

And also events with Beer.

carriedababi · 21/07/2011 17:38

i have thought about joining the commitee of the school where my dd will be going, but i hate pesting people for money all the time, which is what they seem to do, yesi know its for the school etc but feel like begging/pestering to me

would much prefer to either help with art, cooking reading, helping out on school trips etc, than pester people for money all the time

pta typees do come across as busy bodies alot of the time too which is off putting

i would also be interested in being a govoner, but doubt they have much use for me!

motherinferior · 21/07/2011 17:40

On the other hand, guilt-tripping me into doing things 'because otherwise I am just benefiting from others' work' will not work. I like the summer barbecue, but my life won't end if it doesn't happen. Ditto the nice equipment in the playground: it enhances our lives, but isn't a core part of it.

Asking nicely, with Beer, is fine.