to think this is neglect & abuse??

[asecretlemonadedrinker]

I am reeling, need to vent. DSs school were not changing him when soiled, calling me to collect, stuffing paper towels down his dirty pants, shutting him alone in small rooms when soiled, telling him off (medical problem BTW) the f ing formal hearing panel have ruled this as not being abuse & neglect. My son was bleeding sometimes on collection, sitting alone in shit on a paper towel.... how is that not child abuse???? They lied and lied, saying they HAD to strip him naked in a corridor because to use the 2nd boys cubical (1st he had smeared excrememnt in) would be unfiar to any boys needing the toilet and they wouldn't want to use the girls cubicals directly opposite! How fucking dare they strip my son naked and make such a pathetic excuse for not maintianing any dignity for him. I am trying to remain so cool and calm throughout all this but they just can't see how awfully they treated DS!!

I am not sure he was closed in there against his will, he would have just quietly followed them and sat down if he was told. I have just read the reponse to this incident - as there is no evidence they cannot do much except say it wasn't best practise. Someone led him, soiled, to that room, sat him down, walked away and closed the door. It's a fact - it happened. Someone did that. And to say my child suffered horrifcally was "grossly inaccurate". I am with DS day in, day out. He suffered, and he suffered alot. He barely knew whether he was coming or going. Why, because he was 4, would it not cause suffering to strip him where classmates could see him?? I had an accident when in labour and god knows I was so embarrassed and I am a rational adult. I cannot contemplate being made to sit, soiled, on a paper towel in the reception with epople coming and going, seeing and smelling me... or midwives stuffing paper towels down my underwear! He is young, not an animal!

So your DS has moved schools now has he? I'm very glad if you've found him somewhere where he's being dealt with with a decent amount of care & dignity .

I have photos of one occassion. I have my word about others. I think a lack of evidence should not equate to the whole thing being brushed under the carpet. People like these should not be allowed, at tax payers expense, to take care of and educate young children! Head has been in place for 11 years, but yet knew nothing of how to handle additional needs, well, she did but chose not to. All the wonderful teachers in thw world, why should we settle for these substandard ones?

Yeah, he has, they were wonderful but we moved last month and are in the proccess of road testing a nearer school - they are also on board and willing to take care of him. If I "give up" it's accepting what they did. I want to forget it all, forget that hell hole even existed but I can't just let that happen. Ofsted are investigating now, no doubt swept up in all the lies. Just hearing the staff outright lie was really upsetting in inself. You put so much trust in these people. Imagine your child was smacked, you wanted it investigated and the teacher just lied and said it did not happen? You knew otherwise - maybe you'd seen the mark, your child knew otherwise.... but the lies were the final say in the matter. I don't think many people could just shrug it off and walk away.

I am very sorry to hear about what happened to your son and glad he is happier in his new school.

However it seems as though your anger at the old school is eating you up inside. Bar turning back the clock and dealing with the incident better, I can't think of any resolution to this that is going to satisfy you. I think you need to let go.

I hope your son's condition contonues to improve and he stays happy at the new school.

This is awful. I think it is neglecful and cruel.

What do OFSTED have to say about the situation?
Would it be worth asking your MP for their advice on taking this matter forward?

I can't give up now - Ofsted are investigating and I need to give them all the evidence - a whole box! - included I have to write the letter in response to this shit panel findings, otherwise people will take this shit document as fact. Children will carry on being stripped in corridors, treated badly... maybe I should just give up :(

wrote letter to MP, got a response - all oh dear, that's very bad, anything I can do to help etc. etc. What can an MP do to help?

Ofsted investigating immediatly. I went to them ages ago but was told they do not deal with complaints. Tried again last week and was told they absoloutly do in a safeguarding case. I know it's my word against theirs WRT Ofsted, they won't belive me over the school. THey all have their stories straight and all have no knowledge of DS soiling except the episodes he was sent home, although it has been noted someone knew, but no one will admit it was them. Someone changed him in the first term all those times - someone took him to the room and shut him in.... and I can't belive that is being allowed to be overlooked because no one will admit to them.

Perhaps take the steps you have mentioned above i.e. write a letter to the panel disputing their findings and provide the evidence to OFSTED.

I could see the school accepting that some incidents did happen and procedures have been put in place to handle things better but downplaying most of the incidents so they seem a lot less serious.

Its not that you have to give up, its really about working out how far to push the matter before the cost to you is too great. I am concerned that you are pinning your hopes on a satisfactory resolution to this matter when it is quite likely there won't be one.

Please take care of yourself and celebrate the fact that you have rescued your DS from this situation and that he is now able to enjoy school.

I am horrified by this. :( Your son has a recognised medical condition and was 4 when this situation at school began. It's fucking disgraceful. My nearly 4 year old would totally bewildered too.
Whilst moving him shouldn't be the answer, I am so pleased he is now being cared for in a decent and dignified manner, and I hope he thrives in his new environment.
How a child can concentrate on learning anything whilst wondering the consequences for soiling himself, something he has not got control of, is beyond me.
I imagine many adults would struggle a bit at work in that situation, let alone a child.

I did honestly think the hearing would be the end. Although, I was really shocked and upset at the staffs conduct during the hearing - the head even mutters "for gods sake" under her breath to the school rep. (opposite me) when I was just about to ask another question. It has infact given more to complain about. Maybe I should give up, it's an appealing thought. But I only have to print off double to involve the next stage - LEA, over just doing my bits for Ofsted. I am just so angry at the lies! I would be so so forgiving if there was alittle humility and acceptance they failed DS. It's the lies, blaming me and DH, blaming DS even! It's snowballing rapidly. I wish so much I had called social services the day he bottom was bleeding. I thought it was too OTT, but I don't think it would have been. I went too softly softly for too long. Where does teachers wages come from? Is it council tax?

Your MP could write to Ofsted/the LA on your behalf. It's amazing what those letters after the name/a bit of official paper can do. My Dad was bumped down a waiting list for an operation to fix a non life-threatening but seriously debilitating problem (he would have been left unable to see, sat on the sofa all day with no help as DM works FT). One letter from the MP and, shock horror, they could suddenly fit him in two weeks later. Sad but true fact of life.

Teachers are paid by the county. Don't know where the money comes from. Some academies (I think) can pay the teachers themselves/set wages.

So sorrry tobread all this. Sadly i know from personal experience that schools and LEAs never apologise for failing a child on such a level. The only thing you can do is name and shame. My son has asd and there was a litany of abuse and horror by teachers and the school that led to him being suividal at 6. I had to remove him and home educate and give up work.
Bastards.
Least your son is in a good place now.

I know you are upset, but it would have been useful to have all the facts.

Your son is in a different school and doing well - that's brilliant.

Ofsted are investigating your complaint. That's good as well. Don't you need to wait for the results of that before doing anything else? Have you discussed what outcome you want? Do you want staff sacked?

Just to reiterate for some - the LA does not investigate complaints against schools. Once a school complaints procedure has been exhausted the next level is the Local Government Ombudsman. The LA would deal with a parent who felt that some additional provision needed to be made for their child, if the school wasn't addressing this. If Ofsted are already investigating and her child is now settled I can't see the point in telling Op to contact the LA.

The LA are the point of call if you need to do something for the provision made for your child, but Op doesn't need to do that because her poor little boy is now being cared for and happy at another school.

Local Authority schools are funded by government money which is passed down to the LA. The LA retains a top slice to fund central and statutory services, then delegates the rest to schools. In the case of Academies, the LA layer is removed and they are funded direct by government. Hope that is interesting, although probably not useful.

I don't care what you are or are not meant to do or what you 'signed up for'. I could NEVER treat a child like that. It's heartbreaking and I am angry on your behalf OP. Vile people.

You are not in the wrong here OP. Well done for pursuing this, but I hope it doesn't get to the point where you can't look forward.

Regardless of the reason for poo-smearing, a child can only smear poo if they are left to their own devices for an amount of time.

Clearly, leaving a child with a history of soiling/smearing alone is just irresponsible.

That alone, would be an argument for neglect, IMO.

Hi, I have seen your posts before OP and I really feel sad and angry for you and your poor DS. Mainly angry because most schools have a duty to help kids with SN. Your child has very specific physical needs and imo the school should be supportive of this.

I can see the other side of things to a point - it may be disrupting lessons and I'm sure the school staff don't particularly relish doing the clean-up operation but your son has human rights and should be treated with dignity and respect.
I know they are now called 'teaching assistants' but in my day they were 'classroom assistants' and they would help out in whatever way was needed so that the teacher could concentrate on teaching. It really doesn't take that long to clean a child with a bit of soap and water - they just don't like the fact that they have to do it. The way they have treated your DS - It's disgraceful.

I really can't envisage what the outcome is going to be for you here but I really hope you hope you manage to get something sorted soon for you and your son's sake.

The way they treated him sounds awful. It does sound as if they were out of their depth and didn't know what to do to take proper care of him. I'm glad you have found a nice school who can take over his needs.

I would say by all means pursue your complaint with Ofsted but do try not to let this take over your life. It already upset your son greatly at the time. I think he deserves his mum to move on from it and focus her energies on the future and not the past.