to think this is neglect & abuse??

[asecretlemonadedrinker]

I am reeling, need to vent. DSs school were not changing him when soiled, calling me to collect, stuffing paper towels down his dirty pants, shutting him alone in small rooms when soiled, telling him off (medical problem BTW) the f ing formal hearing panel have ruled this as not being abuse & neglect. My son was bleeding sometimes on collection, sitting alone in shit on a paper towel.... how is that not child abuse???? They lied and lied, saying they HAD to strip him naked in a corridor because to use the 2nd boys cubical (1st he had smeared excrememnt in) would be unfiar to any boys needing the toilet and they wouldn't want to use the girls cubicals directly opposite! How fucking dare they strip my son naked and make such a pathetic excuse for not maintianing any dignity for him. I am trying to remain so cool and calm throughout all this but they just can't see how awfully they treated DS!!

asecretlemonadedrinker PLEASE don't think a solicitor won't touch it without a huge fee.

DCM give these a call please!!!

I have worked in a school before where TAs changed a y6 child. His needs should be met.

If they couldn't cope, they should have started to try and find ways of coping - statement/CAF/Funding. They did not. All children have a right to education. A little compassion is not a staffing issue. The teacher did not stuff paper towels down his dirty pants due to a lack of staff , it was out and out cruelty.

"It's pointless trying to find out who said, did what, who changed him etc etc. The bottom line is, can the school deal with changing your son on a regular basis with as much dignity as possible. If the answer is no, then either take him out at lunch time, move him, home educate him, come in on a daily basis to clean him up or seek medical alternatives."

NO, the answer is for the school to refer him to an EP and/or apply for a statement for him identifying his need and requesting funding for support. If the LEA and school feel his needs are too great to be met at his current school, it is the LEA's responsibility to identify an educational placement which can meet his need.

Am so relieved to hear that he is happy at his new school.

ASLD, please do give that company a call. They are dealing with my DS's case atm.

OK hadn't realised his new school was working with him appropriately, thank goodness. So glad he's out of that other place and I hope you can move on from the trauma you've both had there.

How old is he op? my ds's incontinence nurse has been into school several times,has yours? take care

OP read some of your previous posts very for your DS

5 and in reception

asecretlemonadedrinker
I know you are rightly very angry about how the school has treated your DS but I am wondering what you want to acheive by pursuing them now?

If I understand correctly your DS is in a new school who are meeting his needs correctly (Thank Goodness) so what do you want from his previous school. The reality is that you are unlikely to get the apology you and your DS deserve because the school and the individual teachers will be afraid of appearing admitting any sort neglect / liability etc.

You can take this further if you want but I am not sure what you hope to get out of it and whether it is the best use of your time and energy.

appearing to be admitting

apologies for typos / spelling - typing too quickly

It seems that your ds is now at a new school and your complaint is against the previous educational establishment that he attended.

It also seems that the hearing was an 'in-house' affair and, presumably, was not held at the instigation of the LEA.

I'm not an expert in education law but I seem to recall that where a child has been removed from a school it may limit the right of the parent(s)/guardian to pursue complaints it's yet another Catch 22 that can unfortunately protect the rear views of some individuals

You could google the Children's Legal Centre and give them a call - they're in London but operate throughout the UK.

Alternatively, refer the matter to the relevant LEA and/or try to move on as it seems that your son's needs are now being met.

I can't move on... persons A B C D and E abused my son. They are still there, free to abuse more. My DS was a wreck - a shadow. LEA route is the next step, no doubt it'll be more cover ups, I have notes from a telephone conversation that a member of the local safeguardning childrens board said I was out of order, in wanting more care for DS ! Social Services said to keep going the formal route, after a phone conversation with the head after I raised my concerns! It's all first named terms and pally pally, makes me sick to my stomach. I have to get this above local , chummy level.

I am getting some letters of apology. They feel they can just say sorry for abusing my son? The final outcome is that we should have made staff more aware of DSs needs. We did!! So many times! Staff have lied and said we didn't, so that is what they are going with. Telling lies about something does not make it true! It was so darn obvious they were lying - his class teacher remember one meeting, 10 minutes later denied it took place, then later couldn't remember. The panel have gone with it didn't take place, despite her admitting it did! That was in July '10, before he even started.

OP - I can understand that you're angry. EVERY child deserves respect and human decency at the least.
There is a lot of good advice here.
I havent read any of your back story but I wanted to pick up on a small point that no-one else has.
DS was stripped with one teacher, when questioned she said the other teacher was hovering at the door (as she was a yr 1 TA), and in the report just given to me 1/2 hour ago it says that no one would have walked in on DS (from Yr1 anyway) as they were all out at P.E! SO the other ta was clearly not hovering there, it's all a bunch of bloody lies!!
I'm not sure that this in itself is evidence of lying. Sometimes the TA is indoors clearing up etc. Also it's common practice for one teacher to send a child from his/her class to to another classroom or the yard to bring back some help. The TA was probably brought in to supervise the incident.
I don't mean to be picky, just want to help you focus on the actual issues. I know it's hard to see it properly when you're (understandibly) upset.

Any letters of apology will be evidence that the school accepts that they have behaved inappropriately. Keep them and get legal advice.

Your son made them aware of his needs by soiling himself. Your capabilities as a parent make no difference to the way a school should deal with a child with these kind of needs. Whether you informed them or not is irrelevant.

Just to clarify, did they keep your DS in a room on his own (unsupervised) against his will?

If so, this is a very big deal indeed. They cannot do this under any circumstances unless they have applied for special dispensation from the LEA.

I can totally see your point but I also think you should try to move on if you can for your son's sake. He will get anxious if he thinks you are; he has begun to get over it whereas you're still back there. I'm sure you'll be hiding it from him but even so you're not sleeping well, it's eating you up inside and these things will show.

On a piddling issue about one millionth the size of yours- I once considered taking my employer to appeal for offering unflexible hours after mat leave and that was bad enough- it was exhausting thinking about it- I let it go, I resigned instead and felt better very soon and realised it was for the best. Completely different scale, I appreciate that but you're continuing to hurt yourself by going over it. You've done everything you can. Those involved will have learnt, maybe not officially, but they'll know.
Look forward and focus on your family now and for the future.

My son had an accident , suddenly developed diarrhea even tho they arnt supposed to help the children someone was outside the cubicle when I got there talking him through what to do, they had got him wet wipes and were helping him as best they could, it's totally unacceptable what they have done to your child I'd be fuming and heart broken too Id think!

I would move him to a school more willing to take care of him and his needs.

Schools are not allowed to be unwilling to take care of a child's needs.

I think that you have had previous posts. There is obviously a complete breakdown between you and the school. I think that before the start of the autumn term you need to change schools or work with the one you have. Hurling abuse around isn't going to improve anything.

Your son made them aware of his needs by soiling himself

Exactly, tethers.

As long as the cost to you and your ds isn't too great, I applaud you lemonadedrinker.

asecretlemonadedrinker I understand why you are so angry and why you want them to face up to the misery they put your DS through. However, I think your chances of proving what went on are limited and I strongly suspect that the staff version of events will get clearer and more consistent so they are all singing from the same hymn sheet before long. I am sorry to say that I think you will find it a deeply frustrating process.

You have already done the best thing possible for your DS by getting him out of that awful situation.

Schools are not allowed to be unwilling to take care of a child's needs

(yet again) exactly, tethers.