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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be a bit cross with a woman feeding from a jar in the baby room

109 replies

LisasCat · 21/07/2011 11:47

The baby room in Boots is a bit of a squeeze anywy. It's a small room and they've crammed in two seats for feeding, two changing tables and a toilet cubicle. Just about enough floor space left for 2 buggies and accompanying parents.

Yesterday I went in with hungry DD, and a couple were BFing their twins on the chairs (well, mum was feeding, while dad occupied the other), so I didn't begrudge them both chairs. I leant against the changing table and latched DD on.

Then in came another woman with a 4/5 year old. Turns out this was the aunt 'saving a space'. 2 mins later in came the mum with the baby. Twin couple had now finished, and I said new woman should sit, as I was nearly done and DD would unlatch if I moved. So down she sits, and gets out a jar of baby food, which she proceeds to spoon feed to her child, cold.

So have I misunderstood the point here? I thought baby rooms were to give BFing mums a bit of privacy or FFing mums the facilities to heat the milk. If you're just feeding cold food from a jar, that can be done anywhere, and definitely in far more pleasant surroundings than a cramped baby room with a faint whiff of pooey nappies. I think I'm just miffed that she took up room with her extended family as well, when it was obviously very busy in that room.

OP posts:
Solo · 21/07/2011 12:02

You could argue that sitting in a park and breastfeeding your baby would be preferable to the feeding room with a faint whiff of pooey nappies...

shelfy74 · 21/07/2011 12:02

Why did you not feed your baby in the park or cafe? I wouldn't bf mine in a room smelling of poo, not nice!

StrandedBear · 21/07/2011 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HairyJo · 21/07/2011 12:04

x post with dreaming.

as someone who breastfed i was happy to feed anywhere and I'm sure you don't appreciate me questioning why you would choose to use a baby room. Because lets face it it's none of my business and it's personal choice. Just as it's none of your business why jar food (may the lord strike her down Grin) lady chose to use the room too

Ormirian · 21/07/2011 12:05

Well I thought they were for changing shitty nappies not feeding. Why would you feed your baby (breast or jar) in a place full of stinky nappies?

OpinionatedPlusSprogs · 21/07/2011 12:05

I never breastfed in those smelly rooms. Another one who thinks you were both BU to feed in there.

Ormirian · 21/07/2011 12:05

I see the point has been made a few times Grin

LisasCat · 21/07/2011 12:09

The people who are imagining the judginess about the jar are way off the mark - I mentioned the fact it was cold to explain that she had not used the heating facilities in the room. I do not have an issue with jars of baby food.

And as DD is only 19 days old and my boobs have a fun habit of spraying milk all over her face while she faffs, I don't currently want to sit in the cafe and potentially add extra milk to the latte of the person sitting next to me! In a few weeks I'll be feeding anywhere as I did with older DD.

OP posts:
cloudpuff · 21/07/2011 12:13

I would have thought she had as much right to use the room as you, I also would have thought you had the same options to feed your baby in the park etc

I also don't understand why the pooey smell shoul be more unpleasantor of a concern for the jar fed baby than your baby, maybe I read that bit wrong.

I do agree that the extended family should have left the room if it was busy though.

BluddyMoFo · 21/07/2011 12:13

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LemonDifficult · 21/07/2011 12:16

Nope, I still think YABU. I'm really struggling to see how you can resent a mother feeding her child - whatever way - in a feeding room. How on earth can you care?! It was a bit busy! Well, that's the shops for you.

cloudpuff · 21/07/2011 12:16

Maybe her baby was so hungry and had just had a crying fit and she just wanted to feed him without fuss for fear of having a crying baby to deal within front of people while waiting for food to heat.

Rev084 · 21/07/2011 12:16

You can BF anywhere too you know! I'm a novice BF, breastfeeding my 7wk second-born, FF the first. No way would you find me in a baby room to BF, its pretty much a small step up from feeding in a toilet. In the same way I never FF or fed a jar to my first-born in one either.

dreamingbohemian · 21/07/2011 12:17

Ah, see when you explain why you were using the room it makes sense. Maybe the other lady, if you asked, would have some reason that would explain why she was using the room. It's not really fair to judge her without knowing.

Morloth · 21/07/2011 12:18

Why do they have no choice? I never BFd in one of those rooms, so clearly there is a choice.

YABU, if you wanted to sit you should have asked the dad or sat when the other chair became available.

BluddyMoFo · 21/07/2011 12:19

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BalloonSlayer · 21/07/2011 12:22

Oh go on OP, you can have a YANBU on me.

I've fed all my DCs out of jars and it would never occurred to me to go and do it in a mother and baby room. I'd have gone to a cafe. But, I suppose they may not have had the money for a cafe, and wanted to heat a bottle straight after the jar.

But never mind that . . . what about the man taking up a seat, just holding one twin while his DW fed the other? Now HE should surely have given up his seat for a BF woman?

Icelollycraving · 21/07/2011 12:24

Yabu. What difference did it make to you? feeding rooms are for anyone to feed a baby whichever way they choose. You could have sat in the park,did you? No. So why is it so heinous she used the same facility as you? Was it because she wasn't bf? Because the food was cold? Because you wanted the room smelling of pooey bin to yourself?

ChuntyCops · 21/07/2011 12:25

YABU. Why is it ok for your baby to eat dinner surrounded by crappy nappies,but not hers. You should have gone to feed in the park. I BF all 4 of my dc,and had the squirting milk problem(I could shoot a moving target at 50 paces and once got my DH in the eye,despite him wearing glasses :)) but I've never used a changing room. I wouldn't feed my baby anywhere that I wouldn't eat!

LeQueen · 21/07/2011 12:28

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeggyBlondeNE · 21/07/2011 12:31

For a second I thought this thread was going to be about me!

We used the 'mother and baby' room at a giant Mothercare to feed our 10mo her lunch (out of a jar no less!) last weekend. She wriggles a lot so we both went it, he sat her on his lap and I fed her, sat next to them on a long bench.

Another mother and two kids came in to bottle feed their baby, then a young new mum with her newborn to breastfeed. By that time it was getting full and her mother was holding a muslin to hide her boob so I thought I should get blokie out of there! Luckily we were done and scarpered.

And no, we couldn't have gone elsewhere. We were in the middle of shopping on a retail park and the baby was overdue her lunch already, so we used the facilities and were very grateful for them. If it were a talking toddler I'd have given her the jar and spoon and let her feed herself while we walked to Mamas and Papas... ;-)

hester · 21/07/2011 12:35

Blimey ladies, the OP had a baby 19 days ago - give her a break!

FWIW, the one I'm judging is the dad who occupied the chair. It would have been courteous of him to offer you his seat.

alemci · 21/07/2011 13:02

absolutely Hester.

Also it is a bit arkward when you first start breastfeeding and I would have felt more comfortable being away from the publice eye. I know times change.

If I was feeding a baby with a jar, I think I may have gone somewhere more public as it probably was really stinky in there.

lazylula · 21/07/2011 13:19

TBH I am a little confused as to why it was ok for a dad to occupy a chair without feeding, but not ok for someone to occupy a seat while spoon feeding! I understand some of what you are saying, but maybe consider the fact that she may have been bfing after the jar so rather than go to one place to feed and then move (she may not feel comfortable feeding in public) she was doing it all in one place. I think the dad should have moved for you or anyone else who came in to feed and I am afraid I would have begrdged him the seat as he didn't nee to be sat there!

2old2beamum · 21/07/2011 13:37

Well you would not approve of me----I have not only tube fed my 4year old but oh horror catheterised him too!!