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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My 5 year old niece was told to go home and pray

490 replies

freyjasauntie · 21/07/2011 10:56

I am really upset that my 5 year old niece was told by her school teacher to go home and pray at bedtime. Although she goes to a C of E school, this is due to logistics of living in the country, and the school are aware that she is being raised atheist, (she was enrolled as such) with a view to letting her decide her own path when she is ready to understand what that entails.

If a Muslim teacher had told her girls to go home and wear hijab, there would be uproar, but it seems to be accepted that schools can promote Christian ideology. I have no problems with my niece being taught about Jesus, about being kind to each other, about truth telling and other so called Christian Values (which can be found in almost any religion) but I strongly object to her being told to give up something for Lent (she had no idea why she should do so), and to pray at bedtime.

Religious Education should be EDUCATION, as a qualified RE teacher, I have always presented all world religious as equally valuable, but there is a real difference between education and what I believe is insidious indoctrination.

OP posts:
lubberlich · 21/07/2011 18:33

I went to a CofE school in the 70s - not that you would have known it was a "faith school" - it was just the local primary. A bit of hymns and harvest festival but that's all.

I have just read the prospectus for my DS's new CofE primary school - the ONLY state primary for miles in a very rural area. It is mortifying. Children are encouraged to "understand" that "good things happen because of prayer and bad things happen because you haven't prayed enough."

It is contrary to EVERYTHING we believe.
Why should my son be indoctrinated with this hocus pocus crap just because it is the only state primary school available to us?

seeker · 21/07/2011 18:34

"So its ok for the other poster to use the word "stupid" and "hard of thinking"

Yep. i used those words because your post about living in an Islamic country was stupid!

Cocoflower · 21/07/2011 18:37

You think stupid because you dont see the analogy.Its no different to you thinking its ok to enter someone else's culture/faith and expect it to change for you.

HTH

seeker · 21/07/2011 18:39

I wouldn't expect it to change for me. As I said. Repeatedly.

What I wouldn;t expect is for my child to be evangelized. Being taught about religion is fine. Being told to practice religion is not.

Cocoflower · 21/07/2011 18:40

Sigh.

seeker · 21/07/2011 18:42

Why?

Do you not see the difference between being taught about, and being taught to do?

ANd between not wanting to do something yourself and stopping other peopel doing something?

pigletmania · 21/07/2011 18:43

YABVVVVU, its a Christian school so will be promoting a Christian ethos. Yes for Christians this is FACT!!!! If you are an atheist why on earth send her to a religious school, and expect them not to promote Christianity Hmm. If your that unhappy, send your dd to another non religious school. Its surprising how parents send their children to CofE school as they have a good reputation etc, but do not respect the ethos of that school.

Cocoflower · 21/07/2011 18:43

"
What I wouldn;t expect is for my child to be evangelized. Being taught about religion is fine. Being told to practice religion is not."

I would agree with you. If it wasn't the fact it was a Faith school.

pigletmania · 21/07/2011 18:44

Just because your dd is told to pray does not mean she has to do it if you as a family do not practice any religion.

lubberlich · 21/07/2011 18:51

Why are some people so completely incapable of understanding that for a LOT of people in rural communities there is no choice.
NO FUCKING CHOICE AT ALL.
It isn't about selecting to send your kid to a religous school and then bitching about the religious agenda.

The only state schools available in many rural communities are faith schools - primarily CofE. Some are pretty drippy and some are hardcore - and it is all down to postcode lottery how much religion the children have to deal with.

There now. Is that really so hard to understand?

pigletmania · 21/07/2011 18:56

Well lubberlich you still have to understand that the school will have a Christian ethos, you don't have to practise it at all. The school that I used to go to was not CofE but a Christian private school, children there were from different faiths, and respected that it has a Christian ethos to it, does not mean that they were forced to practice it at home. I had a Jewish friend there, who would go home and practice her faith at home, celebrate Sabbath and go to Sinagogue (sp) like many others of different faiths at that school.

soverylucky · 21/07/2011 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tabulahrasa · 21/07/2011 18:58

lubberlich - so there are no other schools at all that your child could attend? Really, absolutely no schools?

Or is it that the easiest one to attend is a faith school?

pigletmania · 21/07/2011 18:59

Its not the schools fault there is a shortage of non religious schools where you are, its the Local Authority in which you fall into.,

Sirzy · 21/07/2011 19:04

There not being other schools available, although not right is a different issue IMO and one for another thread.

This issue raised by the OP seems to be them making a mountain out of a molehill. I bet the comment made was a comment in passing by the teacher which the little girl remembered and told her family when they got home. You can not expect a C of E school not to mention prayers at all, that is truly unrealistic.

GrimmaTheNome · 21/07/2011 19:04

What I wouldn;t expect is for my child to be evangelized. Being taught >about religion is fine. Being told to practice religion is not."

I would agree with you. If it wasn't the fact it was a Faith school.

did you not understand what it says right at the start of the OP:

Although she goes to a C of E school, this is due to logistics of living in the country,

In some areas of the country (mine included) there is no choice of state school apart from C of E or RC. Its outrageous that this is the case, but in areas where this happens and they know that they have children from non religious families (OP: 'the school are aware that she is being raised atheist, (she was enrolled as such)') surely they should be mindful that they should not impose religious practices on such children. Much is said about 'ethos' but I find the ethics involved in the way some faith schools behave dubious, to say the least.

lubberlich · 21/07/2011 19:08

I don't want my child to attend a faith school. But I am obligated to because it is the only school available to us in a 40 mile radius. (Oh how I love all these smug comments from obviously urban MNetters about sending kids to other schools!)

People can raise their children anyway they please and believe whatever they want.
But when my son attends a state school - the ONLY state school for miles - then I expect to have my rights as a non-religious person respected. It is a STATE school.
In effect that means that my son should not be told that "bad things happen because you haven't prayed enough" - as trumpeted in their prospectus.

Sirzy - I don't agree. I think availability of schools is very much the issue here too. The OP said and I quote "she goes to a C of E school, this is due to logistics of living in the country".

pigletmania · 21/07/2011 19:10

So how would they do this Grimma, segregate the non religious children separately? There are parents who send their children to faith schools because of, shock/horror the religious ethos of it. I don't recall the parents of non Christian children at my school having a problem with the religious ethos of the school, and that assembly every morning was a religious one? Or they would not pay to send their child there!

pigletmania · 21/07/2011 19:11

Well lubberlich you should lobby your local Authority, its not the schools fault, it is a religious school with an religious ethos which you cannot change to suit every child.

pigletmania · 21/07/2011 19:15

If you are really not happy, and its important to you, why don't you move to an area with a selection of schools!

GiddyPickle · 21/07/2011 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 21/07/2011 19:16

It may be the only school in the area, but I don't see why that means that they have to change. Even if there was a vote, the majority might not want it to stay the same. I doubt whether the LEA could afford to 'buy' out the church.
I have huge doubts that she was told to pray at bedtime-that was most likely her interpretation as in 'if you pray at bedtime you could pray for......'
Any school would know that not all pupils pray at home-even if they are C of E.

Cocoflower · 21/07/2011 19:17

So all those so agaisnt- presumably religion was part of your education? No? Perhaps you sung the odd hymn did the odd prayer?

electra · 21/07/2011 19:17

Prayer is a key element of daily life in a faith school. Telling people bad things happen because they haven't prayed enough is not something I have ever experienced from any christian school my children or I have attended. That's just silly.

YABU, sorry. And why are you so concerned? It's for her parents to make a decision about.

lubberlich · 21/07/2011 19:18

Pigletmania - oh please - this problem is widespread across the country - it isn't about one school in one region.
All state funded schools should be secular.
If you want your kid to get a religious education then pay for it.

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