To think a lot of people get financial help from their parents in order to get onto the property ladder?

[DarlingDuck]

I often wonder about this. I know friends who are in their late 30's early 40's who have managed it themselves but everyone I know who is any younger has either been helped out financially by their parents or been bought a flat/house outright. AIBU to think the majority of people under 35 are helped out?

Until recently, you could get 100% mortgages and get on the property ladder if you were really determined and single minded about it, unless unemployed or very low paid.

DP and I bought our current house on such a mortgage, and got a bank/car loan for the deposit! This was 4 1/2 years ago. Its a one bedroom country cottage, which a lot of people didn't want because it was so small (while complaining about property prices in the area). Yet we have just been granted pp for another 3 bedrooms and hence soon will have a 4 bedroom country house.

No help from parents. DP's brother did get about 120k from his parents to buy his first flat, which he sold and is now living in a 400k house, which always strikes me as unfair.

That said, he has to spend his weekends doing odd jobs for his rather nutty parents and looking after their house the 6 months of the year they live in France, and I suspect probably lives in fear of being asked to pay it back, or having his inheritance reduced accordingly. While we live 150 miles away, visit when we will enjoy it and enjoy our independence! On balance, I'd far rather do it our way.

The way i see it there are many ways to help your dcs if you cant give them deposit.

Just being able to stay few years at your parents when you work full time and save for deposit it is a huge thing, some people dont even have that. Or if you help them with childcare, thats a lot of money.

I think our generation worries to much about our dc's deposit. If they are that desperate to get on the ladder they will make compromises, i.e. stay here for 2 years and work 2 jobs or go to Dubai for 3 years or buy a small studio, go further out and build their own house, whatever....

Everyone i know who has bought under 30 had help, except me (stingy parents). Although i think the goalposts have changed since deposits have rocketed from 3 to 30k. I really hope we can pay off our mort by the time our dcs go to uni so we can buy a flat for them. I wouldnt want to be a ftb now.

laq you arew right oif course, necessity is the mother on invention.

But I still wouldn't want my DC to struggle to do things that DH and I managed to do with relative ease, just because times have changed iyswim.

I know word, thats fine if you can. But if someone here has very little and is no able to do it shouldn't get ill by worrying about it. There are many ways to stand by your children. My dad was big on teaching us practical skills, problem solving etc he used to tell me 'thats your drowry'.

Also i think many of us didn't have much quidance, regarding jobs, training, houses etc but we will propably be able to give that to our dcs?

I'm sure a lot of people get financial help from parents. I know people who are not 'wealthy' in the slightest but will help their children with things like their first car or putting the deposit on renting a flat. That's what families do. My parents couldn't afford to buy either I or my brother houses but they help out from not a very big income when they can. I've got savings lined up for my DS which he might choose to use for student fees or a house deposit. And the grandparents do something similar. In return, when my parents get old and infirm, I'm quite prepared to pay towards any help they need.

My Indian friend's family are always putting up deposits for properties for the younger members or helping them start businesses or whatever. They see family money as a pot to be shared, not something to be kept selfishly to one or two members. I think that's an excellent philosophy.

Basically we, and SIL got married very close in time to each others. Hubby's parents paid for SIL's big wedding, my parents and us paid for our very very small understated one. His parents gave us the equivalent of what they paid for her wedding as a gift, mainly with the intent of us having some massive holiday somewhere. Well, hubby hates hot places, I'm terrified of flying (I like being on the winning side where gravity's concerned) so it went into our savings - hubby then got the idea that we might possibly have enough to get a 95% mortgage if we used our entire savings contents as a deposit - in-laws were fine with that.

95% deals were crap, so they said they'd put in the extra needed to get us up into the 90% bracket, my parents (who aren't very well off since their business isn't doing amazingly with the budget cuts hitting their revenue stream) helped us with the solicitor's fees side of it and that's how we managed to pull off buying - handily helped out by the house price crash, and one very cooperative neighbour who knew the vendor and really pushed him to accept our offer (we bought on the same street we already rented in)!

Not ideal but the rental situation here has got insane - was the main catalyst behind us actually buying - you can't fully realise the level of stress a crappy landlord can cause you until you've lived that nightmare.

If you are talking about young people e.g. early to mid twenties, then yes I think this is often true. But that is because few people at this age earn enough or have enough savings to buy a house or flat.

For people who are a bit older though, I know plenty of people who have bought without help.

But the problem with questions like this, is that so many people mix largely with people from a similar financial background. So people can think the experiences of their friends and family are common ones, when they are not.

But I suspect the majority of people don't have family who are well enough off to provide financial help.

Oh yes, laq I wouldn't and don't think anyone should worry about things over which they have no control. What's the point?

As you say there are more ways to skin a cat than the obvious one. As parents we can all do all sorts of things to help our children. Mu Mum who didn't have a bean passed on to me something immeasurably useful: confidence. She believed I was very special and could do anything.

Should add we bought without any financial help. But we stayed in a grotty bedsit for a few years to save enough for a deposit on a very small house and saved money by doing things such as not eating meat and cooking from scratch. And yes I am older in my 40's - but when I bought house prices were high.

We also moved out of London to the north of England so that we could buy a house. In London in the 90's, house prices and rents were very high and we couldn't afford to rent a flat or house in London never mind buy one.

We bought in 2006, when I was 25 and dh 24. We had no help from parents to actually purchase the house, though my parents did help us to decorate and bought us 3 carpets. We didn't stretch ourselves when we bought either - we'd been approved for £35k above what we actually took.

No-one I know has said they had help getting on the property ladder but most of them are slightly older (or were slightly older when getting on it) so perhaps they have just saved more. I do know one family who have been able to move to a much bigger house (that they can afford to extend from selling their previous house) because of the death of a relative.

No help here. First house at 21 (£250k) second house at 24 (£700k)

Zero parental borrowing however was married for the second one so dual income.

I reckon I've paid out over £60k in childcare, that would have been appreciated more than a deposit because i'd have known who the DC's were with but that's too much to ask as well, I feel i've drawn the short straw when I come on mumsnet at times.

Tuggy, let's face it, you must be astonishingly wealthy to buy a 700k home at 24 without parental help

This is a very sore point for my DH and me as we would love to own our own home but simply don't have a deposit. We are saving at the moment but the amount of money they are asking for would involve YEARS of us saving. We will probably be in our late 30's/early 40's by then and my DH is worried that we will be too old to get a decent mortagage!

My DH earns well above the national average but as we live in London our rent and living expenses are pretty high - add on student debt and we are putting very little aside each month.

Everyone I know owns their homes and all of them had inheritance or assistance from parents for the deposit. One of them was given a huge sum of money by her inlaws to buy their home without which they would be renting. Yet she acts like being given this money is some kind of achievement and makes little comments about renters at my age being tragic and so on.

I am a SAHM who also has a disability so not sure if I can work in the future.
We have no parents who can give us financial assistance.

i think it's increasingly common, particularly in places like the southeast. It's basically a transfer of wealth. a lot of older people are sitting on or have cashed out a windfall from the massive rise in property prices in the past 15 years (that has only very slightly corrected downward). it makes sense to pass it down.

What makes even more sense though is if the market would correct itself and go back to normal levels of affordability. unfortunately the false propping up of the market by things like parental contributions, government schemes, etc. keep distorting things.

I agree it would be better if the market could correct itself. Most people don't have parents wealthy enough to give their children a deposit to buy a house.

And as I said, in the 90's we had to move out of London as we couldn't afford to rent a house never mind buy. I have met other people who did the same. Similarly my SIL lives in a tiny rented place in Sussex as she and her OH could not afford to buy when they moved there in the 90's.

London and the South East have always priced people out of the market who want to buy a house there. It really is nothing new.

One thing i dont understand is that London is a big city with big population yet there are so many houses as opposite to flats. There are old council flats or new very luxur appartments but no much between. In other capital cities there are more average, affortable 2-3 bed appartments and proffesional families live in flats. How can the prices drop much if millions people live in london but only one family occupies certain m2 of land?

I guess it varies from area to area, but there are plenty of flats where I live in London Laquitar. Some converted houses, some blocks. We currently live in a flat in a 1970s-built block, and there are several similar blocks on our street.

We brought 16 years ago without any help from parents. But did receive £1000 from my mum and another £1000 from hubby's parents towards our wedding which was just 5 weeks later. I hope to be able to help dc out when it is their turn to buy or rent.

I like 70s flats in small-ish blocks MissPenteuth, i think they should build more new ones like them. Not 1m appartments with gym, jacuzzi on the terrace and bullshit but normal, practical flats with good storage and communuall green space.
And people should get a bit more real and not to expect to live in the capital city but to also have acres of their own green and their own slide and swing and a garden room 'to chill out'

I bought my house at 30 - a family friend died & had left me enough money for a deposit. Was unexpected & i was very touched that he'd thought of me.
I'd still be renting if i hadn't been left the money so i'm very grateful.

Actually Laquitar more moderate homes are being built in London for to cater to precisely that market as we speak. DH and I have been looking at some recently.

Plus, all those big houses are converted into 2/ 3 bed flats nowadays. There are plenty of London town houses in my area which I assume are the type you are referring to, and some you can buy outright but a massive bulk of them are flats with the gardens split into two sections at the back to share between the occupants.

People are very crammed in in London and every bit of space is utilised that can be and properties are often overcrowded.

My parents gave my husband and I our deposit, 15% six years ago when we were in our early twenties, and nearly all my friends are the same. It would take a long time to save up the thousands of pounds needed now.