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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a lot of people get financial help from their parents in order to get onto the property ladder?

145 replies

DarlingDuck · 20/07/2011 19:23

I often wonder about this. I know friends who are in their late 30's early 40's who have managed it themselves but everyone I know who is any younger has either been helped out financially by their parents or been bought a flat/house outright. AIBU to think the majority of people under 35 are helped out?

OP posts:
ilovedora27 · 20/07/2011 19:37

Also I live down South and I have a few other friends who bought and didnt have parental help. It was easy a few years ago you could get a 100% mortgage. I got a mortgage when I was on the minimum wage part time and my husband on minimum wage full time. We got many multiples of our income they didnt used to care as long as you pay it

zukiecat · 20/07/2011 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OddBoots · 20/07/2011 19:38

I didn't need or get help from my parents (nor dh's) when we bought aged 19(me) and 26(dh) but it was 1998 s prices were lower. They did pay for our wedding a few months later though.

TheCrackFox · 20/07/2011 19:40

DH and I bought our first flat 16 yrs ago and my Mum and Dad gave us £2k.

TartyMcFarty · 20/07/2011 19:40

Mrskravitz, that's ridiculous. There's no choice but to start small!

Original poster
DarlingDuck · 20/07/2011 19:40

We pay £850 rent per month where we live. My friend who lives in a similar house in the next street, which she owns, just changed her mortgage and is now paying £320 per month. We could afford a mortgage but they are so difficult to get now.

OP posts:
MrsKravitz · 20/07/2011 19:41

We bought a house for £12000 ten years ago. We now live in one that is worth about $650000. We started really small and crappy.

nokissymum · 20/07/2011 19:41

I dont know anyone in my circle who got help from parents, we all bought our properties in our late 20's/very early 30's, we all worked our socks off to be in a position to obtain a mortgage.

hayleysd · 20/07/2011 19:44

I'm 29 and partner is 30 none of our parents could help us/ we didn't and wouldn't ask as I don't think they should help but the only way for us to get on the property ladder was shared equity so we have an 80% mortgage and the builders still own 20%

RedHotPokers · 20/07/2011 19:46

DH and I bought approx 10yrs ago with no help.
DSis and BIL bought 5 years ago, and used inheritance (BILs mum died) as deposit.

All the other couples I know had no help, but I have a few single friends who were helped out - very hard to buy on your own these days.

larakitten · 20/07/2011 19:47

Nope. We did it all ourselves, and I don't know anyone who has help, to be honest. We bought small, stayed long enough to make a decent profit, sold it on, bought our current house 6 years ago and now its doubled in value.

We were lucky in that we bought our current home before prices went utterly nuts, but to be honest I wouldn't have wanted any help from our parents, we just bought according to what we could afford.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 20/07/2011 19:48

We bought when we were 23 and 25 (6 years ago). No help from anyone.

'Only' needed a 15k deposit though

Whorulestheroost · 20/07/2011 19:50

We were fortunate enough to buy at a time when you could get 100% mortgages and also at a time when house prices rocketed. It gave us a large enough deposit with which to move 2.5 years ago. My parents however have had to help 2 of my 3 brothers with loans for a deposit on a house. My poor parents aren't well off at all and intact it was their pension pot that they have given. I think my parents are a bit crazy tbh but are the sort of parents who would give us anything if they had it even if it means them going without.

MugglesandLuna · 20/07/2011 19:53

I was given an inheritence at 16 which was held in trust until 18.5. My Aunt (who was the adult names in the trust) lent me the money against that so we could buy our firts property once I turned 18.

My parents couldnt afford to help us get on the property ladder as neither of them are on it themselves. DH's family could have, but didnt as they see it as our responsibility to do this (which I respect).

Zimm · 20/07/2011 19:54

Most of our friends have had help, but we have refused it - doesn't feel right to us.

Karstan · 20/07/2011 19:57

Most of my schoolfriends, ie. people my age who weren't really old enough to buy before around 2003, have had some sort of help, whether that be cash for a deposit, inheritance, parents signing as guarantor.

Friends I know who are just that little bit older, so could buy before property went a bit mad round about 2000 managed on their own.

The only difference between the first group of people and the second is timing, not ability to save or being prepared to go without.

HarrietJones · 20/07/2011 19:59

I bought at 18 with a deposit made up from a savings plan my parents did for me as a child. £3k deposit!

I didn't go to Uni but if I did I would have found it a lot harder to get going as prices shot up over that period. Even accounting for earning more.

TartyMcFarty · 20/07/2011 19:59

Well done Mrskravitz. I'd like to see you find anything at all for £12k now.

thecatatemygymsuit · 20/07/2011 19:59

Actually I don't think it's unusual at all, but is it such a recent trend? I benefitted from an inheritance when I bought my first property in the 90's, (as did many friends) but I know my parents were also 'gifted' a house by my grandparents when they were married, so am not sure it's such a modern phenomenon. The way property prices are, there is no way my dd could possibly ever buy a property without some help in the future, but I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing.

MrsKravitz · 20/07/2011 20:00

It wasnt a proper house, we lived in a static caravan while we saved.

shakey1500 · 20/07/2011 20:04

I'm early forties, dh and I bought ten years ago. We scrimped and saved, no assistance from either set of parents. Well I say that, my MIL let us sleep on the living room floor of her one bedroom high rise flat while we saved for a deposit.

wordfactory · 20/07/2011 20:06

Yes I think a lot of people help their children.
Property prices are stupidly high and the deposit required a huge %.
How are young people to save this if their rent is commensurately high?

To be honest I won't mind helping mine. Why would I?
I really cannot understand people who found it much much easier to get on the property ladder, just standing by and watching their DC struggle.

afussyphase · 20/07/2011 20:06

I know several people whose parents helped by loaning/giving money for the deposit. I agree the prices now are totally crazy but it's hard to know what to do about it - if more people wanted to rent rather than buy, the buy-to-let market would presumably just take up the slack and go up. Especially in London it seems rents are already crazily high ... and considerably higher than the corresponding mortgage payments if you have a good deposit.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 20/07/2011 20:13

yup, we bought our first place last year (I was 27, DH 29), we'd managed to save £9,000, my brother lent us £2,000, my grandad £6,000 - we could have bought somewhere with that but then my folks sold their holiday home and gave us £10,000.

We live in London and I freelance in theatre so it would have been impossible without help. We got a two bed flat for £185,000 which we'll stay in til the 2DCs are too big for it! I'd kill for some outdoor space...

emsyj · 20/07/2011 20:20

I am 32 and DH is 30. We bought our first house (tiny 2 bed terrace, but in a nice area) 7 years ago when you could get very high loan to value mortgages. At that time I also had £30k of student debt Shock.

We have since rented it out and bought a second house (which we live in now) that is a decent size 4 bed semi, but we needed a minimum 15% deposit for that and the only reason we could afford it is because I worked for a couple of years in the City and we were very frugal so it enabled me to pay off all my student debt in the first year and save a deposit and some extra in the second year.

We haven't had any parental help because my mum hasn't got any money anyway and DH's parents earn less than we do, so it would be wrong to take money from them (although they have worked hard and been careful and now that FIL is retired they are comfortably off and have his generous public sector pension and lump sum). They did offer to sub our deposit for our first house but we didn't want to start out owing them money.

Of the people I know who have their own places, most of them have had some sort of 'windfall' (wrong word, but can't think of the right one) - three have had inheritances (two of them inherited the house itself outright), one had a car accident that caused her to go deaf in one ear, one had her parents act as guarantors on her mortgage and one has a rich father who gave her the deposit.

There are some others who have managed alone though. One friend is a nurse but very very careful with her money and she saved very hard for several years to buy a small flat. There are a few others who have highly paid jobs who could get by without financial help from family, although some of them accept additional help anyway!

Many of my old school friends don't own their own place. I think that is fairly normal for those in their early 30s these days.