To ask my dd teacher to keep her away from a boy with suspected ADHD because she is easily distracted

[pingu2209]

My dd has not yet started school. She will start in September. I have been told by the preschool teachers that my dd is very easily distracted and we have concerns that she may have a language disorder, like her eldest brother has. It is really important that she concentrates on what is being said to her or she will be totally disengaged with the class activities.

There is a little boy in her preschool who I would bet money has a behavioural issue. I mean this factually rather than as a 'put down'. I have a neice with ADHD and his actions are very similar to hers.

I am very concerned my dd has a language disorder like her brother. This is a big concern for me. This compounds my view that I really want her to be sat away from the little boy as he has a tendancy to get her in a head lock and pull her to the ground or to grab her by her clothing and swing her round. My dd doesn't like it. I spoke to the preschool and they said that the boy doesn't mean to be horrible, he is just over enthusiastic. In other words, just put up with it.

It will probably be taken negatively by the teachers in Reception - she hasn't even started proper school yet! However, she has had a year in preschool with him.

The preschool is part of the school and there are strong connections between the 2 years - they even swap TAs every now and then to ensure a smooth transition. This won't be news regarding my opinion on the boy, but I think it may well be taken badly because I'm already dictating what I want for my dd before she has even started.

OK, so even suposing the teacher agreed ( ) to attempt to kee them apart, if your DD is easily distracted there will be a million other things that will take his place.
You're on a hiding to nothing. Drop it.

How would you feel if his mum approached the school now before they have even started and said she had concerns about your daughters speech and would like them kept apart in case it affects his?

If your child is very easily distracted and might have a language disorder then these are things that may need professional input. Asking the teacher not to let your DD sit next to the little boy, who you think (because you don't know officially) has behavioural issues, will not resolve your DD's problems. You're being unreasonable.

There is also a bit of irony in your post! If your DD is very easily distracted I could easily say to you that I don't want my child sitting next to your DD because she will disrupt my child's work.

The fact that your DD might have a language disorder is irrelevant to your DD mixing with a child who might have ADHD. My child has a speech disorder and coming out with a statement like that is a load of rubbish.

Hmm may DD is deaf, maybe I should check with the other parents that they aren't worried that maybe it'll rub off on their children, or she might distract them. Not a F*ing chance. I must consider myself lucky that I have not encountered an opinionated idiot such as yourself. Yet. Honestly how can you deem your child's needs are greater than anothers? Get over yourself. Every parent wants what's best for their child, including this boys mother.

Lots of people will share your concerns, OP, whether or not their DC have special circumstances. School can't isolate the boy from everybody he might "distract".

I think it's at this point that people like you opt for private schools.

Is this the Pingu who won't clean the cat shit up?

YABU and should be ashamed of yourself!

I would be in the (watch and) wait and see group but if I were to mention anything it wouldn't be distraction or ADHD it would be "he has a tendancy to get her in a head lock and pull her to the ground or to grab her by her clothing and swing her round. My dd doesn't like it."

You will probably find that the school will sit your dd in the front row for group work and at a table with support from the teacher or the TA for group work if they suspect a language difficulty and she is easily distracted, and that they will try to do their best to stop the little boy who could or could not have adhd from distracting anyway else, your dd included.

My dd has adhd and has spent many of her formative years in education at a table with a TA or senco person and with other kids with various issues who need a bit of help/support/looking after or calming down. It used to frustrate me that she was always with other disruptive kids, because I thought they just set each other off. She used to come home telling me how she couldn't concentrate on her work because child X was standing on the table and messing about at her table.

Took a while and a reality check until I could admit to myself that the problem was not with the people around her, as she is capable of finding a way of distracting herself and everybody around her even in an empty room, and that the little boy who stood on the table was in fact a great friend of hers who helped her survive her day at school...

'he has a tendancy to get her in a head lock and pull her to the ground or to grab her by her clothing and swing her round. My dd doesn't like it.'

lol and do you think any of the other kids will like it either!!

Er no tell your child to listen in class it not another Childs fault if your child is a sheep

I'm kind of outraged at my post being deleted for telling the truth

I knew you shouldn't have passed on the apologies worra, the cunt's reported me

is the op ever coming back, or is she of dx'ing random children?

And then some more.

They don't really sit at tables much in reception though. They don't spend the whole day at desks, doing work, it's more shorter sessions in small different groups so I wouldn't worry too much. Added to which, there will be the not insignificant distraction of another 28 children as well as this little boy, in fact if it is like DS's school, where the two reception classes are in one massive room, possibly 58 other children.

Everyone wants the best for their child - not just you - and there are better ways to address your concerns about your daughters possible problems than spending the next 6 weeks working yourself up in a frenzy of self righteous indignation about 1 child.

2shoes I think she's hiding in shame.
I agree PB, same in DC1s school.

I really don't get the venom on here surrounding parents with reasonable concerns about SN children in mainstream school.

The reality is that although there is supposed to be support for SN children it often takes a long time to appear through the statementing system and when it does materialise it is rarely enough. In the meantime schools are left to do their best with children who need support. It is obvious that this has an impact on all children in the class - those with AND those without special needs.

Having a concern about your child sharing a classroom with a child with SN isn't the same as victimising the child.

I am in the same position as the OP as there are two children in my son's class next year who would appear to have something of a reputation. One of them has apparently injured two other children this year and is said to have ADHD. I will go into next academic year with an open mind, but obviously will have to monitor the situation FOR THE SAFETY OF MY SON and not because I hate all children with ADHD.

excuse me the boy does not have SN, the op has dxed him with sn, hate to say this, but that doesn't mean he has sn.

the child in the OP has been DXed by the OP, how can this be reasonable? I see no venom, btw

xpost with two-ie shoey x

I think the OP will find that whether a child has special needs is irrelevant as they can all be buggers at times, including her DD.

think of the money that could be saved though, sack the peads. random parents could dx kids they don't even know.

my dd has sn, she behaves better than most nt kids

If you are worried about her language skills, pay a tutor to help her along.