AIBU to be annoyed at Facebook Smugness

[MrsNorthman]

I can't understand why people wish their husbands/wives/Sons/Daughter's happy birthday/anniversary on Facebook ... can't they just tell them to their face like normal people. I have a friend who did this and her husband isn't even on Facebook .... and I couldn't give a rats arse how my 'friends' children are doing at school or if they got a good end of year report or how many goals their darling son scored at his football match .... and those with busy social lives ..... well i'm just jealous !!

Glad I'm not alone. FB whinging gets on my tits, especially by people who post the ins and outs of their lives on MN. You're no different you know, it's just a different website. Anyone who talks about themselves online is doing exactly the same thing. So drop the holier than thou crap please.

saying Happy Birthday to your spouse or whatever is "smug"? Perhaps you should ask for a dictionary for your next birthday.....

Fabberooney, will all those who consistently bleat that Facebook is just for kids and they don't see the point, please STOP engaging in Facebook threads? Why do you bother if it is so childish and so beneath you?

I have one friend who is anti facebook because it is silly and childish and she can't see the point. Well bully for you love. Stop going on about it to me because we disagree - I can see the point in having a useful website where I can look at friends pictures and make amusing comments and even learn something about a political issue from a journalist friend who links to a very interesting article.

If you don't like it, don't use it, but please don't think it makes you superior to any of us who do. That really does get right on my tits, basically because I think it is a very lazy and ill informed opinion.

YANBU That kind of smugness makes me vomit. Then again so does facebook (but I still have it)

I've come to the conclusion is that facebook is for your friends and twitter for people that are interesting

Humans are narcissistic shock! Hold the front page!

Facebook provides a convenient forum for people to reveal the worst of themselves, that i completely accept. However, this is not the fault of Facebook. It is due to the inadequacies and insecurities of the posters. I know this, I pity them, I hide their newsfeed. End of drama.

I agree happytourer - I read somewhere that Facebook is for lying to the people you wish you didn't know and Twitter for telling the truth to those you wish you knew.

I think there is a lot of truth in that. I could probably cull about 2/3rds of my Facebook 'friends' and not miss them. But the remaining third I most definitely would and without Facebook it just wouldn't be as easy and as entertaining to keep up with them. Some live in the US for eg. I love that I get to see pictures of their children. It isn't so convenient over email.

Or you know what, you could just only be friends with people you actually like? How about that for a revolutionary idea?

oh god i prefer that to the oh my life is so shit status or the telling of really personal details all over facebooks or rows. a happy birthday dp doesnt seem so bad really. next to my boyfriend is an awful cunt for cheating!

smallwhitecat, a reasonable point.

However, why is it then, (in my experience at least) when you point out to the haterz that actually not everyone on Facebook is a narcisstic twat and some of us get genuine pleasure and interest out of it, that they still can't or won't drop their sneery stance?

could it be that they think it is an easy way for them to score some points? Along the lines of o I never watch TV me, I'm such a highbrow!

I love statuses declaring how happy people are about their DCs, DH, latest adventure etc. It makes me happy to read cheerful things and means that people are focusing on the positives in their lives rather than being moany whingers.

Some people are genuinely smug, yes, and they should be hidden or unfriended.

If you are looking at your fb newsfeed and it's filled with annoying people and racists, maybe you should consider whittling down your friends list to a hundred or so people you are actually interested in, instead of just being friends with anyone who asks in a desperate bid to seem popular. I did that, and now I have an interesting newsfeed! Most people won't even notice you've deleted them.

Gwendoline - this may be why Google + will take off in a big way with all its 'circles'. Sometimes it is not possible to ignore a friend request without seeming all impolite - I have had friend requests from old University acquaintances and it is easier just to accept then hide them.

So, not everyone on my facebook page is someone I love and respect. Just as not everyone I have to deal with in real life is someone I love and respect.

I am curious as to why Facebook is criticised for simply being a mirror of human nature. The problems people complain have always been with us and always will. Facebook just provides a convenient platform.

happytourer good point, I never thought about it like that! I've never tweeted anything but I follow interesting people.

And I really don't get the argument, oh I couldn't ignore their friend request because they'd be offended. If you don't like them, why do you care if you offend them or not? I've ignored loads of requests from old school and uni friends and nothing bad has happened... If it's a work colleague, you can just say that you keep fb for close friends and family.

Facebook (and Twitter) is very different from an anonymous discussion forum. It's the mindboggling narcissism of a user who vomits some uninteresting apercu into the ether. To whom is it intended? Why the scattergun approach? Do you value your 'friends' so little that you can't engage on a one-to-one basis?

I can see the use of family to family contact if you live apart, but then email/letter/phone or person-to-person is a far more engaging and personal way to connect with another person you care about.

Exactly. All FB has done is given us a vehicle to talk about ourselves. People have bored each other rigid with the minutiae of their lives since the dawn of time.

How is it narcissistic to tell people things when they have chosen to listen to you?

In fact I believe it is narcissistic, as well as incredibly arrogant, to choose to have people on your FB and they complain about them daring to share something with you. Are you so incredibly wonderful that they should think carefully about how their status may or may not impact specifically on you?

It's not into the ether, its to people on their friends list who have CHOSEN to be there. If you fail to understand the basic principles of social networking you really shouldn't be using it. And certainly not whining about those that do.

*then complain, not they.

Fine, people who don't like Facebook, step away.

Good for you if you don't mind offending people. I would rather avoid doing it if I can, it costs me nothing. This 'I keep Facebook for close family and friends' strikes me as rather precious.

I have made the point already - email and phone calls are NOT always easier. My friends in different countries operate on different timezones. On facebook we can dip in and out of our updates at times convenient to us. Would that there was world enough and time for me to be on the phone every evening to the people I love, let alone seeing them in person. But by the time I have done with all I need to do of an evening it is almost 10pm and I just want to go to bed.

If you don't like Facebook, don't go near it. But I am still baffled why you feel the need to come on threads like this and say how much you despise it. Surely you are giving it rather too much thought? Time that you could and should be spending making all these real emotional connections with your dear friends?

otchayaniye, wrt to my parents, I tend to speak to them on the phone once a week. A letter takes about five - seven days to get to theirs, sometimes longer, so by the time they read the letter, they've usually already heard it on the phone. Dad checks his emails daily, but rarely replies. Mum never checks emails, but she's more likley to be found on FB. If it's urgent, I'll ask her to phone. Otherwise, we tend to use FB to chat, while we can get other things done.

Msplaced, I am banging my drum of likeness for your post. I wish there was a button I could press. You say it so beautifully.

Social networking helps people engage MORE with each other, not less! I love reading funny things my friends have written, interesting articles they've posted etc, seeing photos of them, AND I see them, phone them, text them in real life too! It means you can have a continuous conversation with people, if you want to, even if you are too busy to leave the house/work!