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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be annoyed at Facebook Smugness

82 replies

MrsNorthman · 20/07/2011 14:41

I can't understand why people wish their husbands/wives/Sons/Daughter's happy birthday/anniversary on Facebook ... can't they just tell them to their face like normal people. I have a friend who did this and her husband isn't even on Facebook .... and I couldn't give a rats arse how my 'friends' children are doing at school or if they got a good end of year report or how many goals their darling son scored at his football match .... and those with busy social lives ..... well i'm just jealous Envy!!

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 20/07/2011 15:20

I dont mind the happy birthday ones but actually I do when they are say for their kids who a) cant read and b) arent on fb!!! That makes me chuckle a bit...or the statuses that read..........

"Betty loves her DS so much, love you darling, you are the moon and stars and I love you forever"..........yeah coz my ds (8) is on fb and is gonna read tat status....NOT! :)

EightiesChick · 20/07/2011 15:27

I'm not on it

YANBU

michelleseashell · 20/07/2011 15:27

You guys are such mums!

Longtime · 20/07/2011 15:37

Sorry to hijack but I think I may have just done something that may not be acceptable on Facebook. I'm a "friend" of my dd. She's only 12 and it was my condition for her having a page. Today a boy wrote something not very nice on her page so I sort of told him off (just said that Facebook wasn't a place to come to insult people and he shouldn't do it). Was this a bad idea? I didn't think so at the time. To be honest, I just didn't think (one of my weak points this). What do you think?

bumpsnowjustplump · 20/07/2011 15:40

I thought the point of fb was to share everyday news with your friends and family who you do not see very often as they are far away!! Well thats what i use it for anyway. So yes my status updates are often about my children etc..

befuzzled · 20/07/2011 15:42

it is my dps bd today and i said happy bd to him on facebook (even though said it in person this morning) more to alert friends and family as he has been keeping it v quiet, but I know he will sulk if he doesnt get a few birthday wishes.

MadHairMoody · 20/07/2011 15:43

Can't people celebrate good things in life? There's enough of the bad around. If you don't like it don't use it.

michelleseashell · 20/07/2011 15:44

What did he say longtime? Was it definitely meant to be mean and not just a joke?

befuzzled · 20/07/2011 15:46

i would do the same with my dc I think but might sign up as someone else and pretend not to be their mum for more impact!

I really do hate the "my husband is a lovely, smoochy darling thank you for making my life complete, you are my world xxxx" ones though! That should be said face to face in private, if at all.

MissPenteuth · 20/07/2011 15:50

I never understand all these people complaining about their 'friends' FB updates. If they really are your friends, surely you're interested in what's going on in their lives? I agree that some updates can be cutesy and smug, but most are just informative, and might be interesting to friends, family, those of us that give a shit. If you don't actually care about these people or what they're doing, delete them from FB and shut up about it.

michelleseashell · 20/07/2011 15:52

Oh god the worst ones are the cryptic miserable sulk statuses which are then followed with half a dozen no I don't want to talk about its.

DontCallMePeanut · 20/07/2011 15:52

longtime, I've done the same for my dniece. However, it depends on the context. My niece generally has an insult based friendship with her closest friends, so they'll randomly insult each other. Can tell it's a serious fall out if it's more lengthy, wordy or whatever.

Spero · 20/07/2011 15:52

You are being utterly unreasonable.

I have made this point a million times before but I am ill, in bed, and boooored so it is well worth making a million times more.

No one made you go on Facebook. No one makes you read stuff that others post. If you don't like it a) delete your account b) hide the news feeds of people you don't like or c) stop telling everyone how much you don't like it.

But the point about facebook bullying is interesting, a lot of my cases now seem to involve people sending each other death threats via Facebook. I think Facebook just makes that kind of nastiness more accessible, I don't think it causes it. I applaud the courage of anyone who takes a stand and says something about it.

DontCallMePeanut · 20/07/2011 15:56

Bumpsnow, the same here. My parents live 2000 miles away, and DS's paternal family live the other side of the country. This way, they get to know about little things that matter.

WRT the school report thing, why would it be embarrassing to tell someone how well your DC did at school? My friends would be genuinely happy to know, as, y'know, they care about DS. My best friend is involved in babysitting him, and picks him up from nursery once a week, so likewise, she's always glad to hear he's done something for the first time, or really well. It depends on the friendship, though.

DontCallMePeanut · 20/07/2011 15:57

Michelle, those one's annoy me, too. If you don't want to talk about something, why mention it?

kellibabylove · 20/07/2011 16:01

People who update their status every hour really annoy me! I often wonder what their dc's are doing while their mums are on fb every waking hour. But I dont think there is a problem posting about your childrens achievements and wishing loved ones happy birthday thats what fb is for. What else would you write about?

otchayaniye · 20/07/2011 16:02

Do actual adults, I mean grown ups, really use facebook? I don't believe for one minute that they do.

usualsuspect · 20/07/2011 16:04

Yes they do, its for us oldies

most teenagers have moved on to tumblr now

Spero · 20/07/2011 16:05

Actually, what I do find really annoying is this sneery wanky stance of o my goodness do actual adults really use facebook.

Er, yes they do. Me and a lot of my friends. If we are not adults by now we never will be. All hitting 40 and over.

I find it invaluable for keeping in touch with people in different countries, friends post really interesting and amusing articles that otherwise I would never have the time to find or read.

Yes there are some complete twats on it. But hey! there are complete twats in every field of human endeavour! It is not the fault of facebook that you have sickening and smug friends. Anyone like that is either not my friend or their newsfeed is well and truly hidden.

MissPenteuth · 20/07/2011 16:05

Of course they do. Why on earth wouldn't they? Hmm

The real FB 'smugness' IMO is people who go on about how they don't use it, as if that makes them some kind of enlightened being.

MissPenteuth · 20/07/2011 16:06

Ooh, bit of a x-post there Spero.

usualsuspect · 20/07/2011 16:06

yep ...I only have people I am interested in on my fb

Why add people that annoy you?

HorridCold · 20/07/2011 16:09

I really really try and avoid commenting on people's status' on FB but when my BIL and Sis argue over FB, I really have to (whatever the equivalent is on FB to biting your tongue!!) stop myself.

I can't ever ever imagine having a row over a public website like that, it just makes you look such an idiot, really pathetic!!

I also wonder if people are having that much of a good time when they're on a night out if they're updating FB every hour - I don't even think about my phone, let alone the internet if I'm having a great night out with my mates!!

michelleseashell · 20/07/2011 16:10

I only communicate through carrier pigeon.

Spero · 20/07/2011 16:11

Miss penteuth - great minds, etc, etc

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