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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that these recent posters in AIBU about weight are attention seeking idiots fishing for compliments?

90 replies

TheOriginalBanshee · 19/07/2011 21:05

Have they never heard of BMI? Surely they know they are slim as they must need to buy small sized clothes. Then why the need to post a boo hoo tale of woe is me to incite a load of sympathy posts that read YANBU you are soooooo skinny....wish I was that skinny......I'm sooooooo fat! And no, I do not have a weight problem at either end of the scale. I'm just sick of this body pananoia. Pull yourselves together women, for God's sake! Enough of this wallowing and whining about what your DP or DM said. Grow up- you have children now. Set a better example to your own daughters and shut up about your weight. Take a deep breath and let us ALL EAT CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
OscarLove · 19/07/2011 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Original poster
TheOriginalBanshee · 19/07/2011 22:40

Surely arses are meant to be fat right? I mean it must hurt to sit down on a bony bottom. I'm personally grateful to a bit of padding Smile

OP posts:
ledkr · 19/07/2011 22:41

I hate it when people describe them selves as fat at size 14,i sit here going Hmm fuckers.

Serenitysutton · 19/07/2011 22:47

I think you're being really unfair. People who do that clearly have low self confidence and you'd react very differently to someone coming on and saying they cried everyday because they hate the wAy they look. It seems clear, to me that if you post "I'm 8 stone, am I fat?" you are in need of attention/ compliments because you do not have enough confidence in yourself and that is a sad thing.

Fwiw I'm slim and happy with my body and I don't need anyone else, partcularly those who can't see me, to reinforce that. People who are happy with themselves don't need reassurance.

Original poster
TheOriginalBanshee · 19/07/2011 22:55

I don't think any amount of sympathy or compliments about how slim these people are is going to make a blind bit of difference. This is what I object to.

What is the point in drawing attention to a (seemingly) very touchy issue and lapping up/most feeding off of kind sympathetic (not me of course Grin) comments? I really think some people need a reality check. Especially new mums- they have a new baby- why this need to harp on about not being a twiglet anymore? Surely there are more important things in life?

OP posts:
MitchiestInge · 19/07/2011 22:58

it is much easier to worry about your weight than 'the important things' though

anyway, is anyone allowed to express unhappiness with their shape or size or only people with a BMI of, what, 25+? 30+? Or higher?

garlicbutter · 19/07/2011 22:58

Since there's an epidemic of body dysmorphia at the moment, nobody's BU on this thread.

Alcohol and Class A drugs are pretty good at getting rid of the self-loathing (temporarily) and, indeed, the weight as long as they are used instead of food. Which is probably why so many thin people who think they're fat also sound slightly insane.

Disclosure: I'm fat, not dysmorphic, not worried about my size and yet still sound insane. Go figure Hmm

Serenitysutton · 19/07/2011 23:00

They want to rant about it, they're consumed by it. They want others to discuss it with. It's actually prob not a bad idea online- certainly it seems to me in these discussions most of the people who respond with their height/ weight details are much larger than anyone I know- maybe if you feel bad when youre a size 10 and all your mates are a 6 you can come somewhere that makes you feel skinny rather than spend time with them?

MitchiestInge · 19/07/2011 23:02

dysmorphia is not 'that person thinks they are fat when by my standards they are ok' though

you can be a bit critical of your body without having body dysmorphia

Original poster
TheOriginalBanshee · 19/07/2011 23:06

The posters I was referring to have pretty healthy to low BMIs. No, they should not have been concerned about their weight at all. And I do think that anyone, except those with a genuine eating disorder (and I am truly sypathetic in those cases) with those stats would know that they are slim!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheOriginalBanshee · 19/07/2011 23:08

Yes you can be critical about how toned you are. but still, I stress my point about being a mum. I'm sorry but things change! Your body might never look the same again, but there is now much more to life (surely?!?)

OP posts:
MitchiestInge · 19/07/2011 23:14

was just making point that feeling fat doesn't = dysmorphic disorder

I don't have an eating disorder, technically have a healthy BMI but hate my podgy bits and feel entitled to whinge about it sometimes as put up with being fat for ages and don't see why I should have to tolerate it any more. Think it is difficult if your weight has fluctuated a lot to really know when it's where it should be. Possibly most annoying thing is knowing it shouldn't matter as much as it sometimes does.

garlicbutter · 19/07/2011 23:18

It's women's magazines, innit? They go all gushy over some flat-bellied sleb slinking down the red carpet 48 hours after giving birth, without mentioning the section-and-tuck that delivered her baby. They also don't mention the medical starvation slebs go on before a public event (2 weeks asleep, on a liquid feed drip), the five-hour workout every day or, of course, the radical airbrushing. Plus, they make out that being thin & glossy is essential for a successful life.

What did that song say? "Don't read beauty magazines, they will make you feel ugly."

garlicbutter · 19/07/2011 23:20

MI - Think it is difficult ... to really know when [your weight] where it should be

How about - it "should" be exactly where it is? Grin

Original poster
TheOriginalBanshee · 19/07/2011 23:21

You're right, it shouldn't matter. I just think the tone of responses to threads like that should be a bit more positive (by that I don't mean- wow you're so thin i'm so fat you're so lucky!!) and help the OP to realise they are worrying about something that is not really all that important.

OP posts:
Blindcavesalamander · 19/07/2011 23:26

O.K. Everybody, what cake flavours do you all fancy? I'm personally a great fan of lemon cake or coffee walnut. Nothing dry. Juicy cake!!!

See Hollie Mcnish with her fantastic poem about our bodies as mothers and how they tell a story with their own beauty and history. Enjoy your bodies, love them, look after them, and appreciate them. Worrying about everything that's different to a teenage models body is failing to appreciate how bodies develop and are tales in the telling of the jobs they have done and the places they've been (and the cake they've eaten).
Kladdkaka · 19/07/2011 23:31

I am chocolate cake.

Original poster
TheOriginalBanshee · 19/07/2011 23:37

Blindcaves Love it!!! Vanilla sponge with chocolate buttercream for me Smile

OP posts:
knittedbreast · 20/07/2011 10:44

it makes them feel better. they might be venting it here so their children DO NOT hear about it in the home.

I am very proud of myself and my weight achievements, i feel so much better in myself im less snappy, i dont have to nap each day and i feel healthier.
I have put on over half a stone and soon il be at my target weight.

you do know that you dont have to open read of reply to posts about wieght :)

Chandon · 20/07/2011 11:41

garlic, medical starvation, drips....really? Confused

ThePosieParker · 20/07/2011 11:44

When I was six stone I still thought I was fat. Now at ahem much heavier I couldn't care less.....so my waist is a size eight and my thighs nearly the same, not to mention I have the arms of a woman who has let a weight lifting habit die....

ThePosieParker · 20/07/2011 11:45

TBH the weight ones are the same as the child report ones, little Susan got all As but one of her friends got As without so much effort is Susan thick?

ThePosieParker · 20/07/2011 11:46

Krispy Kreme and me are good friends too....especially Lemon Meringue.

Blindcavesalamander · 20/07/2011 11:47

I just had a delicious flap jack.
Everybody looks beautiful to me.
Unless they have an ugly personality ofcourse.

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/07/2011 11:51

I started a thread about this subject yesterday, not in AIBU so don't know if it is one of the threads seen by OP.

Yes, I suppose I am an attention seeking idiot, however aren't we all attention seeking on here (idiots or not), whatever we post about? Isn't that the point of a discussion forum in the first place.

Op you may think the subject matter is a crock of shit, however there is nothing to stop you actually saying so on the threads in question, rather than start another thread to bitch about the mumsnetters who wanted to discuss their weight issues, whether real or imaginary.