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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to sometimes wish my parents would look after one of my kids?

36 replies

chumble · 18/07/2011 15:02

I have just left DC sports day early as her younger sibling is really tired and needed to come home for a nap. Have left my parents there cheering on DD. However, I really wanted to stay and cheer her on and them to bring DC2 home. However DC2 did not want to go home with them only me and therefore I had to come home.

I just wish sometimes my parents would be more assertive and take younger child off my hands. It is my feeling that they will always take the easier option in this case staying with DC1 .

My parents are always happy to come to shows, nativities, assemblies etc but never keen to actually take kids anywhere or do anything that is like hard work.

I guess I am just p**d off that I could not stay and enjoy DC 1 sports day and they always seem to take the easy option.

AIBU?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 18/07/2011 15:06

Yes yabu!!

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 18/07/2011 15:06

Yes YABU. They are YOUR kids. Your parents have done their child rearing. Why on earth should they not take the "easy option" given that they are doing you favours each and every time they help you with any free childcare.

manicinsomniac · 18/07/2011 15:06

YANBU unreasonable to be pissed off but YABU to expect anything different. Grandparents don't have any childcare obligations for your children. Anything they choose to do is a bonus. Your kids, your responsibility.

Sounds like they would have taken her anyway but she wouldn't go which isn't their fault.

Personally I would have stayed there with your paretns and children and let your younger daughter realise that sometimes things can't always go her way.

Original poster
chumble · 18/07/2011 15:07

Sorry just thought they might want to spend time with their grand kids that was all........

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 18/07/2011 15:08

Sounds like they already do!

Roo83 · 18/07/2011 15:08

How old are the dc's? Is there any reason you couldn't all stay? What a shame you had to miss out though

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 18/07/2011 15:09

Your OP doesn't say anything about you thinking they want to "spend time with their grand kids". Your OP is complaining that you are not offered further free childcare from your parents by "taking my younger child off my hands".

brownleatherbrogues · 18/07/2011 15:10

say they were more assertive and over rode your wishes

you would be the first to rush on to MN whinging about bloody domineering parents undermining you, yadda yadda yadda

sometimes people just cant win

and your childrens father is where? maybe he should step up to the plate and mind the kids if you want to palm them off on someone

Original poster
chumble · 18/07/2011 15:10

kids are 6 and 3.

OP posts:
Sarsaparilllla · 18/07/2011 15:11

Sorry just thought they might want to spend time with their grand kids that was all........

But they are, with the older ones?

How young is the little one, couldn't he/she have had a nap in the buggy?

GypsyMoth · 18/07/2011 15:13

You say they attend all events. What more do you want?

And napping at 3 isn't essential

DrunkenDaisy · 18/07/2011 15:13

you should be grateful you actually saw some of it. loads of people have to work and can't get the time off.

Original poster
chumble · 18/07/2011 15:13

brownleatherbrogues I find it interesting that you think I am wishing to 'palm them off on someone'.

Perhaps in the same way I enjoyed time with my grandparents I had hoped my parents might enjoy spending time with their grandchildren. I was not asking for them to look after DC2 all weekend just for 1 1/2 hrs so his sibling could have her mum watch her uninterrupted.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 18/07/2011 15:17

The joy of being a grandparent is you get all the good bits Grin

dalek · 18/07/2011 15:18

Be careful what you wish for - you say you wish they would be more assertive and take the younger child off your hands. You really wouldn't. Just imagine what it would be like if everytime you or your child said something they barged in and insisted their way was better.

I have no family nearby so have to do all of these things by myself (with DH) but at least it means that all child rearing decisions are mine and my DH's.

Sounds like you're a bit tired and feeling sad at having missed the sports day. I have an only child but from what I see of my friends with 2 or more it's all about compromise and sometimes one child has to miss out on parents being there but at least your DD had her grandparents there.

Some of the posts have been a bit sharp - I don't think there is any need for that but you often get people saying quite rude things on AIBU that they would never say to your face - my advice - hide this thread and go and have a cup of tea.

Roo83 · 18/07/2011 15:21

I think at 3 you could have all had a nice day out. We took ds (3) to sports day with picnic, drinks and a flag to wave. I can see why you wanted to stay but gp's obviously wanted to watch too. The consolation it'll be the last time it happens as by next year dc2 will be old enough to stay. Are the gp's generally good helping out or is it rare for them to spend time with the kids?

onehellofaride · 18/07/2011 15:22

YABU I was working and was upset that I couldn't make DS sports day however if I had been able to get the time off I would have taken DD who is 2 with me instead of sending her to the CM for the day. Your parents sound very supportive and obviously care a great deal about their grandchildren as they make the effort to go to events. You on the other hand sound like a spoilt child

Original poster
chumble · 18/07/2011 15:22

Thanks dalek what a balanced post.

OP posts:
brownleatherbrogues · 18/07/2011 15:25

Thanks dalek what a balanced post.

translated to - ahh at last, just what i want to hear Grin

u

Sarsaparilllla · 18/07/2011 15:26

I had hoped my parents might enjoy spending time with their grandchildren

How would them taking your 3 year old home for a nap be them enjoying spending time with the kids? They were doing that, by staying at the sports day! :)

They probably though they were still doing you a favour because although you had to go home your DD still had someone cheering her on, I think you're being a little unfair on them really

Lady1nTheRadiator · 18/07/2011 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueFergie · 18/07/2011 15:30

I would have thought takinga 3 year old home, putting her to bed and then sitting down with a cuppa was the easiest option?
Seems to me like your folks went for the option that required more effort but meant being around an actually concious grandchild.

YABU

messymammy · 18/07/2011 15:33

YANBU to wish for anything but YABU to expect it to happen!
Your parents have raised their children and have no obligation to raise anymore.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/07/2011 15:38

You say in your OP about your parents 'taking the child off your hands'... how does that translate to your assertion that you 'wish they'd spend time with their grandchildren'?

Why shouldn't the grandparents watch their grandchildren at school sports? You see your chlidren every day, the grandparents don't.

I think you're being very unfair. You're annoyed that you had to take your younger child home because she was tired. That was your choice. I wouldn't do it, if we're out and chid needs a nap, they have one. They can sleep anywhere. I'd get my child out of that precedent of whining and being taken home if I were you otherwise you'll be missing anything and everything in future at the whim of a grizzly small child.

MMMarmite · 18/07/2011 15:41

YABU to say "Sorry just thought they might want to spend time with their grand kids that was all........" when they are spending time with your DD.