Would this cause such sn issue in your house?

[Elemis]

There is a huge backstory, but wanted to see what you thought if the basic premise.
I'm very close to my family but they live 200 miles away.
My mum has looked after ds for long weekends at her house and at our house. She knows and understands ds probably better than dh. Dh likes to think of himself as a good father, but lacks patience and understanding and is very selfish. He works away a lot, sometimes 2 week trips, and has also booked a fair number of boys trips over the years. He also has a lot of nights out with clients and/ friends.
My mum asked could she take ds home with her, so he could see the family, his cousins etc.
And then I would go down and pick him up. He would be away for 3 nights, then with me, a further 2 nights.
Dh seemed to have no problem with this.
Mum gets here and he turns.
Insists on putting ds to bed(never offered before)
Insists on reading him stories, bangs around the house, makes snidey comments, baits my mum into arguments(she resists)
All culminated in the biggest row last night, where he said the most hurtful and horrible things about me and my family.

Huge power struggle here, he is trying to put his foot down and demonstate that he is ds's father and he has the last say.
I've refused to be drawn in, I cannot reason with him when he is in this mood, so he is even more annoyed with me.
Anyway, my question is, if your child had the chance of 5 days with grandparents, having a ball of a time, well looked after, would it cause such an issue on your household?
ds is nearly 4.

Dh likes to think of himself as a good father, but lacks patience and understanding and is very selfish

This here is your problem. You have no respect for him as a father to your ds, if you display these kind of thoughts out in the open he will certainly be made to feel pushed out by it all, if me and my mum acted like this towards my dp then he would flip and quite rightly so!

must read whole thread before posting. Sorry op

So sorry to read this

He sounds utterly unbearable.

Solovely2 that's all so truly dreadful, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But it sounds like you have come through it well.

He is insisting we can sort things out, saying he still loves me. But not actually being nice to me.
He said some even worse things last night
I'm sticking to my guns, it is not going to work.
I'm at my parents house now. Feeling very safe and loved, been out for dinner and ds was an angel. So lovely

Glad to hear that elemis. Good luck

Elemis, my x is 2000 miles away, I have been totally explicit in my communication recenlty that we will never ever share a roof. he is still talking about having more DC.. erm???? Que?

He'll be nice over the phone, cos he'll want info, but if I ever allow that man back in the same room as me, he will try to retake command.

Stick to your guns, know that he has not, nor will ever change. This is not about you, it is 100% him. He is choosing to do this to you. Hold onto the awful stuff, use it to remind you, strengthen your resolve.

Your H will try every trick in the book, soon he'll realise being mean is not working, so he'll turn the charm on, be wary, it means nothing, it's a ploy, an act.

Hang onto the hope of a brighter tomorrow. I found that helped too, knowing that with him we'd never go to certain lovely holiday places, only his muslim hellholes, where it's cheap and he gets to call the shots linguistically, and where it's OK to rule and dominate your woman

Hold onto the feeling of love and safety, that is what you are entitled to, not this life of fear and worry. Stay on the path you are on, and this is how you will be able to live all the time!