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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think if a dog can't behave then it should be on a lead?

89 replies

RobynLou · 17/07/2011 18:48

we live next to a small park, cutting across it takes quite a chunk off our walk to preschool, so most days me, DD1 (nearly4) and DD2(5m) go across it, DD1 walking, DD2 in the sling.

the park is doggy central, there's always one or two people there with dogs. that is of course fine, but often the owners are standing at the edge of the park while the dogs run around, we walk across and the dogs come bounding up to us.

each day this happens and each day the owners try and call the dogs away but they don't go. I'm confident the dogs wouldn't hurt us but they're intimidating and scary for DD1, and the bigger ones I also find a bit scary tbh, I've never owned a dog and a strange one running towards you and jumping up at you when you have 2 small children isn't nice.

the owners sometimes shout over things like oh she's just being friendly/she won't hurt you. aibu to think that isn't the point? If DD1 couldn't be trusted not to run up to and pester/intimidate people in the park I would follow her around like a hawk. why is behavior that wouldn't be accepted in a child seemingly acceptable in a dog?

OP posts:

Scuttlebutter · 17/07/2011 23:45

Dogs with perfect recall and good manners who don't hassle children - OK off lead.

Dogs with less than perfect recall, or tendancy to bounce - keep on lead. Allow off lead only when park is deserted and no child/innocent pedestrian/cyclist within 5 light year radius. For off lead play, do what we do. Find (and pay for) hire of secure field/riding school etc where off lead play/training etc can be enjoyed without small dogs/pedestrians/children/passing unicyclists being bothered.

Meanwhile devise very uncharitable thoughts and ideas about awful fate awaiting irresponsible owners who intimidate children, hassle other dogs and whine "Oh, he's only being friendly" as tank like labrador cannons at warp factor speed into elderly, arthritic female dog, innocently walking on lead.

OP, as someone who tries very hard to be a responsible dog owner, YANBU.

HoneyNorwegianRidgebackdragon · 17/07/2011 23:49

Great, I'm finally in bed away from the dog and you lot make me feel guilty again.

I kicked the dog earlier and she's been giving me the wounded face all night.

In my defence I did not realise the the majority of her large behind was beneath the beanbag I was relocating

Nor did she yelp, so it can't of hurt that much. But I still gave her a treat by way of apology because I a soft twat.

emptyshell · 18/07/2011 07:46

The regulars anticipating how the thread are going to go missed out the dog shit... the "dog once looked at my child" etc etc.

Tchootnika · 18/07/2011 10:06

The regulars anticipating how the thread are going to go missed out the dog shit... the "dog once looked at my child" etc etc.

Yes, that's because the OP wasn't like this at all - it was a much more reasonable question.

RobynLou - if you're nervous around dogs, have you though of watching them run around and play from a comfortable distance? You'll see that they can be amazingly boisterous without being vicious, and it can be really interesting to see how different breeds move around, interact, etc.
(Not that that makes it OK for owners to let them hassle you, but it might make you feel safer and more confident.)

Tanif · 18/07/2011 10:21

I own a dog, a very lively, boundy 2 year old border collie. She will come back when called but does like to rush up to people and treat them like her long lost best friend. If you don't like dogs, take the extra time to walk around the park, problem solved.

Tchootnika · 18/07/2011 11:06

If you don't like dogs, take the extra time to walk around the park, problem solved.

Can you explain what you mean by this, please, Tanif ?
It looks like you're saying that people who don't want dogs charging up to them shouldn't go in parks, but I'm thinking you can't possibly mean thia, because if you did then you'd be being unbelievably selfish and arrogant.
Please explain...

MrsBethel · 18/07/2011 11:13

YANBU

If they can't be recalled, they shouldn't be off the lead when other people are about. It's just common decency.

GrimmaTheNome · 18/07/2011 15:26

I wish new owners were obliged to go to training classes. (That's not helpful, is it?)

au contraire, it'd be a bloody good idea. Bring back the dog license, but this time complete with 'driving test'. Your choice of 'manual' or 'automatic' ie trained to recall or correct use of lead.

Tchootnika · 18/07/2011 16:28

Grimma - I wish so much that dog owners still had to have licences. I'm sure even the time taken to buy them would be enough for some people to reflect that owning a dog was in fact too much of a commitment for them.
(> less overbreeding, less dogs PTS, etc...)

Love the driving test parallels, btw - there has to be more mileage in that idea!

Empusa · 18/07/2011 16:32

Been reading a book by Dima (something or other) who grew up in a country where dog licenses were needed. He said there weren't all the cases of dog neglect we get over here. Apparently it was quite a shock coming to the UK.

CalamityKate · 18/07/2011 16:38

YANBU.

Offlead dogs should NOT be allowed to run up to people, full stop.

I say that as a dog owner.

TBH the only people who will say "It's fine, they're probably just saying hello" are usually those people with dogs, who have either tried and failed to train them properly, or just can't be arsed to try.

There is no excuse for it. The way I see it, some people are wary/nervous/intimidated by loose dogs bounding up to them - especially if they have children with them. Why would I risk them possibly being made to feel uncomfortable by letting my dogs run up to them??

CalamityKate · 18/07/2011 16:41

tanif that is a terrible attitude. Why the HELL should people have to take a detour to avoid YOUR ill-trained dog??

If, as you say, she comes back when she's called, then call her away before she gets a chance to run up to people. What's the big deal?

If (more likely) she comes back when called UNLESS there's something she'd rather do, then step up the training.

Empusa · 18/07/2011 16:43

Exactly what CalamityKate said.

If you have a well trained dog who is safe to be off lead then there is no reason you should allow them to run up to strangers (or strange dogs) without making sure said stranger (or strange dog) is happy with that first!

If you cannot stop them then that is what a lead is for.

Tchootnika · 18/07/2011 16:45

Do you think Tanif will come back, having been called? She's been gone for hours, now...

DooinMeCleanin · 18/07/2011 16:47

What if you don't like dogs but like walking in the park or have young children who want to play in the park?

My Whippet has very good recall but for some reason cannot run in a straight line. In order to come back to me she has to first go further away so she can arch around and back , if there are people near it does sometimes look like she is going to go bowling upto them. This is something we are working on. People should not have to worry that she is running towards them, even though she is not, it's still not okay.

Tanif · 18/07/2011 16:48

tchootnika and calamity my dog is not ill-behaved. And most people with kids couldn't give a fig about her going near their children. What I'm suggesting is that if the OP is that offended by dogs in a park which, by her own admission, is 'dog central', perhaps she should avoid the park? Dogs need to run around just as much as OPs DC. I've had mothers snatch their children up and start shrieking at me if my dog gets within 20 feet of them. Why are they in a public park?!

Also calamity please don't judge my beautiful baby before you've met her. She's a docile little sweetheart but unfortunately, being a collie, she can RUN, and sometimes that means she's far enough away that it takes a second recall for her to hear me. Much like a small child.

Tchootnika · 18/07/2011 16:50

Here she is! Good giiirrrrl!

I've had mothers snatch their children up and start shrieking at me if my dog gets within 20 feet of them. Why are they in a public park?!

er, because it's exactly that, Tanif - a public park !

DooinMeCleanin · 18/07/2011 16:51

'Why are they in a public park?!' - because it is a safe place for children to play?

Normally I am all for sticking up for the dogs, but Tanif, comments like that are what gives us good owners a bad name. I'd be mortified if my dog regularly ran upto small, frightened children or that mothers felt the need to move their children from my dog. If there are children playing nearby we generally go elsewhere to exercise them unless they are in the off leash part of the park, even then I stand away from them and ensure my dog does not go too close.

Tanif · 18/07/2011 16:51

So accept dogs will be there. And horses. And people on bikes. And these mothers react in the same way to every. single. thing. Keep your little darlings at home where they can't be exposed to anything and let the rest of us enjoy ourselves.

Tanif · 18/07/2011 16:52

Dooin are you able to read? 20 feet! 20 FEET! She's not running up to small frightened children! She's usually not even looking at them!

Tchootnika · 18/07/2011 16:53

To clarify:

A public park is a municipal space for the use of all members of the public.
By definition, any public park can not be owned by you and/or your dog.

And if mothers are snatching up their children at the sight of your dog, then clearly you're causing them distress.

Can you please give one good reason why you think it's acceptable to do this?

DooinMeCleanin · 18/07/2011 16:53

I don't like horses. I would be mightily pissed off if one came running upto me in the park and I would complain. I have no problem with horses being exercised in a controlled manner in public parks, so long as they stick to the rules and their riders operate proper control.

Tanif · 18/07/2011 16:54

Because I have a pack of savage rotweillers that I enjoy setting on mothers and children. Really, the carnage is amazing, you should see them scatter when we come barrelling in! [rolls eyes]

Empusa · 18/07/2011 16:56

Ok Tanif, getting away from your example of a mother spoiling your fun () as a dog lover, how about this?

My dog is a rescue, he's been badly treated, has never been socialised, and is now very elderly, riddled with arthritis and cancer. If a dog runs up to him he freaks out, risking serious injury to himself.

Do you think we should avoid walking him just because some people rate their having fun above our dogs needs?

Ormirian · 18/07/2011 16:57

No yanbu.

As a new dog owner I rarely let ours off the lead unless we are in an isolated spot and even then I don't let him get more than a few yards from me. I have already been made distinctly nervous by other dogs charging up to my leashed dog, not being entirely sure how he, or the other dog, will react.

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