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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if a dog can't behave then it should be on a lead?

89 replies

RobynLou · 17/07/2011 18:48

we live next to a small park, cutting across it takes quite a chunk off our walk to preschool, so most days me, DD1 (nearly4) and DD2(5m) go across it, DD1 walking, DD2 in the sling.

the park is doggy central, there's always one or two people there with dogs. that is of course fine, but often the owners are standing at the edge of the park while the dogs run around, we walk across and the dogs come bounding up to us.

each day this happens and each day the owners try and call the dogs away but they don't go. I'm confident the dogs wouldn't hurt us but they're intimidating and scary for DD1, and the bigger ones I also find a bit scary tbh, I've never owned a dog and a strange one running towards you and jumping up at you when you have 2 small children isn't nice.

the owners sometimes shout over things like oh she's just being friendly/she won't hurt you. aibu to think that isn't the point? If DD1 couldn't be trusted not to run up to and pester/intimidate people in the park I would follow her around like a hawk. why is behavior that wouldn't be accepted in a child seemingly acceptable in a dog?

OP posts:
TakeMeDrunkImHome · 17/07/2011 19:32

Ohhhh my that tortoise is good!

fruitybread · 17/07/2011 19:34

YANBU. This drives me round the bend.

Dog owners whose dogs aren't trained to come when called, or to obey basic commands shouldn't leave their dogs to run around in shared spaces. What they see as high spirits can genuinely alarm children/other people - jumping up, growling etc. I saw a child knocked down and upset by a large dog in our local park recently - the dog owner using the 'aw, he's only playing' line. The dog looked aggressive to me - growling, barking, 'pouncing' at the child - the child was scared - other adults were asking the owner to get the dog on a lead - how stupid and selfish do you have to be as a dog owner not to get the message? That little girl wasn't being 'socialised' around dogs, or learning how to 'interact' with them - she was being bloody scared by one.

It's not just kids, they have a go at other dogs, and cyclists too. And their stupid owners just STAND there, repeatedly calling their dog's name, to no effect. Can't even be bothered to WALK over and get them when they don't respond.

We always had dogs when I was growing up, including a Jack Russell who could go selectively deaf when called - so we made damn sure he was always on a lead anywhere that wasn't private property or very, very empty public space.

mrskemp · 17/07/2011 20:01

Dogs don't have to be off lead to get enough exercise, provided the owner walks them briskly on lead for an hour or so twice a day. Some owners are just lazy, may not have lead trained the dog either and prefer to let the dog run around and exercise itself while they stand and watch.

DogsBestFriend · 17/07/2011 20:19

The term is not Alsatian, it's German Shepherd Dog.

superjobee · 17/07/2011 20:25

haha blame my mum Blush i spent years telling her off and look where it got me Grin

DooinMeCleanin · 17/07/2011 20:29

YANBU to expect dogs to be under control or on a lead. A dog should not be allowed to run upto a stranger, regardless of breed.

For the rest of the thread because they always go the same way:

YABU to want dogs on leads at all times in public.
YABU to want all dogs banned/killed
YABU to want dpgs banned from all park and beaches over summer months
Staffords et al are no more dangerous or savage than Labradors et al
Pitbulls are illegal and extremely rare in England now-a-days, it was a staffy x you saw.

GrimmaTheNome · 17/07/2011 20:30

YANBU.

A well-controlled dog (whether by good training or lead if necessary) is a joy.

An uncontrolled dog is a potential hazard to people, other dogs and to itself.

Tchootnika · 17/07/2011 20:30

YANBU to be annoyed with owners who think the world should indulge them and their under-trained dog, because they're too lazy to put in the legwork with basic recall.

That said, it probably is best not to get fussed to the point of encouraging DCs to be fearful of dogs.

How about telling these owners to get a training line and use it until recall is 100%. Tell them also that they're not doing their dog any favours unless and until they do so.

HeavyHeidi · 17/07/2011 20:30

YANBU and I'm a dog-owner. And I often walk my dogs off leash, but I have put some serious training in their recall and they are never allowed to run and jump up on anyone. I totally disagree though that they don't have to be off lead ever, no "brisk walk" is enough for a big energetic dog, they need to be able to run free too - but this requires training and true, many owners are just lazy.

rubyrubyruby · 17/07/2011 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 17/07/2011 20:35

DBF - you beat me with the GSD definition. Felt I had sullied the tone of the thread with tortoise talk Grin

Original poster
RobynLou · 17/07/2011 20:35

feeling more confident about saying something to the dog owners now.

of course dogs should be allowed to run around in the park, but only if they're properly trained imo.

I try v hard to not show any fear I feel to DD, I was v afraid of dogs when I was small and I don't want her to be the same.

the owners are always standing having a chat/on the phone, with half an eye on the dogs. much like me in the playground with DD but as we've established she neither growls at smaller kids or is a mini mafia don Grin

OP posts:
lachesis · 17/07/2011 20:39

Whatever you do, if you kick it because it jumped your child, don't tell anyone on MN! :o

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 17/07/2011 20:43

Getting to the point where I want to kick people who think its OK to kick a dog. May have to leave thread AGAIN!

Original poster
RobynLou · 17/07/2011 20:47

I wouldn't kick a dog, being a little afraid of something doesn't equal hating it you know, I'm also afraid of heights but I know it's not the skyscrapers fault they're like that, it's the damn architects!

OP posts:
rubyrubyruby · 17/07/2011 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RobynLou · 17/07/2011 20:51

if she did I'd be over there breaking up her growly chupa chup dealing as quickly as possible, not feebly wailing her name...

OP posts:
Empusa · 17/07/2011 23:05

"feeling more confident about saying something to the dog owners now."

Let me know if you find anything that works!

Our poor dog really cannot cope with other dog running at him, and so far we've struggled to get those types of owners to pay any attention whatsoever.

Tchootnika · 17/07/2011 23:16

Empusa - tell them that if their dog ended up in a fight with another dog, then they'd be liable for any damage done.
IME, these owners take the idea that dogs are generally more comfortable with other dogs when they're off-lead (which has a lot of truth in it) to mean that it's fine for their dogs to charge any other dog. They also think that their dogs' behaviour epitomises 'good canine socialisation' (and that any dog on-lead therefore 'has a problem'). If you can get to talk to them for long enough, explain that their dogs' behaviour is the equivalent of running up to everyone you meet shouting "Hellloooo!!" whilst frantically waving your arms around.
Also explain that there are infinite reasons why a dog might be on a lead - could be recovering from an operation, etc., and it's just not fair to let your dogs hassle them.
And explain that if they let their dogs carry on like this then they probably will come to grief eventually, as some dogs on leads are dog-aggressive, and for better or worse, owners are under no obligation to muzzle them.
A lot of explaining, I know, but sometimes it's needed...

Empusa · 17/07/2011 23:24

To be honest Tchootnika while attempting to restrain a very overweight pointer cross (with my less than perfect back and wrists), I'm lucky if I can manage to yell, "call your fucking dog back!" Grin

Tchootnika · 17/07/2011 23:26

I know Sad
If (s)he is fear-aggressive, though, is a muzzle on your dog not a goer? At least off-lead (s)he can run away/can't do any harm.

Empusa · 17/07/2011 23:28

He will not move with a muzzle on, plus he has an undiagnosed upper respiratory problem, so not keen on restricting his mouth in anyway. Or distressing him for that matter. :(

Tchootnika · 17/07/2011 23:33

Sad again.

I wish new owners were obliged to go to training classes. (That's not helpful, is it?)

Don't know what to suggest.

DBF ???

Empusa · 17/07/2011 23:36

Me too!

Tbh, we just do our best to adapt our walk times to when it's quieter, avoid routes where there are known trouble makers. And we deliberately walk in a big open park so we can change route ahead of most dogs getting near us. We're also focussing on our dogs training, trying to teach him to follow us rather than try and defend.

It's a shame we have to put so much effort into avoidance, it can make some walks hellish, but it beats the alternative. And we cannot control other people.. much as that would be useful! It really should be the inconsiderate ones being forced to change their routes and/or times, but nevermind.

Tchootnika · 17/07/2011 23:44

Would it be possible to use a muzzle for a part of each walk - so that you're alternating between muzzle and lead?
Baskerville muzzles are good for training: easy to breathe through, very light weight, can feed small treats through them, etc. - and maybe, just maybe get to a point where he'll go forwards a little bit in one.
(Again, apologies if you've tried this. Must go to bed!)

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