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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think we could have been included in buying a family car

108 replies

Ivortheengine8 · 16/07/2011 16:45

DH has talked for some time about getting us a new family car before DC2 arrives in October.
Finally today he has gone off to look for one and hopefully find something he likes.

I thought he might have wanted me to go with him. I understand why he doesnt want dc1 to go as she would probably get bored but I said I could drop her off somewhere for a couple of hours and he and I could go.

But no, this morning he wants to do it himself and said it would be easier for him to negotiate a good price on his own. I don't know what he is getting or even what he wants to look at.

Hands up, I havent passed my test yet so I won't be driving the car (Yet!) but seeing as we hardly do anything as a family anyway I thought he could have included me a bit more. Even if I had been asked what I liked the look off or for some imput.

OP posts:
Mitmoo · 16/07/2011 18:19

Old raver There's nothing wrong with the Allegros they used to be police cars, they probably appeared in Dixon of Dock Green, The Bill, The Sweeney.

Now retract damn you retract. Wink

Yes I bought an Allegro how did you guess? Grin

Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 16/07/2011 18:22

Well he just got back with a black BMW 318 which I am going to go down and hve a look at now..................

OP posts:
Mitmoo · 16/07/2011 18:26

Ivor no matter whether you love it find something to slag off about it. Arrogant twonk excluding you.

Smiles innocently.

oldraver · 16/07/2011 18:29

Mitmoo did it frequently .... not start ? Grin

No one could ever figure it out, though I have to say apart for that it was a good runner and quite comfortable being the Vandan Plas

diddl · 16/07/2011 18:31

I think if you are interested, you should have gone with him.

controlleddemolition · 16/07/2011 18:36

I have to be honest, if I were pregnant with my second DC and DH went to buy a new family car I would be seriously PISSED OFF if he attempted this.

Mainly because I'd want to make sure he bought one with enough room for three car seats in the back Grin

OP, did he get the 3 series estate?

oldraver · 16/07/2011 18:39

I bet he didnt get the Estate

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 16/07/2011 18:59

You are NOT being silly to have wanted to spend some time with him.

I went with my husband the other day to buy a printer.

Not because I think he can't choose a printer, or because I wanted to give my opinion on printers, or because I felt I was needed in any way Grin but because I wanted to go with him. We had a nice natter in the car and a wander round town and the printer was really irrelevent.

I think that's what you mean, isn't it?

I think you need to tell him that what you want is to spend time with him. What you're doing isn't that important. You want him.

If he doesn't melt into a big gooey loving heap, then you should kick him in the cock Wink

nolembit · 16/07/2011 19:06

A BMW 318 will cost a small fortune to insure for a learner driver.

brownleatherbrogues · 16/07/2011 19:09

to be fair once you get sucked in, you spend literally hours and hours negotiating and sorting out stuff, i get blimmin bored, a kid would be running riot by then

Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 16/07/2011 19:34

No, its not an estate!
Magificent you summed it up really well thanks. :)
Well he has got the one he wanted and seems happy.
I havent properly looked at it as I just popped down to see it before making tea so I will have a good look tomorrow!
mitmoo I will! Grin
It is 2008 reg and cost £7700 or the like but it has done alot of milage (nearly as much as his old car which he traded in for £250!!
Is that a good deal?
I think he knew I was a bit put out because he said he didn't mean to upset me!
97,000 miles on clock

OP posts:
Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 16/07/2011 19:35

nole its going to cost him £700 to insure for himself.

OP posts:
controlleddemolition · 16/07/2011 19:44

He's bought a 2008 BMW 3 series Saloon with 97,000 miles on the clock as a FAMILY car?

Who the fuck is he trying to impress? He's bought a car that looks swish from the outside as it's youngish and not an estate. 97k miles is LOADS! Even for a BMW, has the cambelt been changed on it?

Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 16/07/2011 19:49

I don't know controlled, I really don't have much idea but I know its nearly as much milage as his old car!
No idea about the cambelt.

OP posts:
nolembit · 16/07/2011 19:50

I recently traded in a 12 year old car with 100K on the clock for £450.

nolembit · 16/07/2011 19:54

I traded my old car in because cars start costing a lot of money around the 100K mark and the cam belt question is very important. I would never buy a 2nd hand car with that mileage on it without negotiating a cam belt change as part of the deal. Unless it had been done recently of course - it should be noted in the service history. Basically if the cam belt goes then it could mean a new engine and in a BMW that would be a LOT of money.

monkeyfacegrace · 16/07/2011 19:54

97k is nothing, shouldnt be a concern, EXCEPT;

Its a 1.8l engine, 6 cyl, so not ideal. Also, is it petrol or diesel?
I hope for your sake its the latter!

A 2.5l diesel engine will chug on to 250k miles no problem.
A 1l petrol will conk at about 90k.

Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 16/07/2011 19:56

It is deisel monkey.
Thanks

OP posts:
monkeyfacegrace · 16/07/2011 19:56

Guys wtf are you lot on about, that model doesnt have a cambelt Hmm

Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 16/07/2011 19:58

nole, I will try and find out from the paperwork. If I ask him I think he will start asking me what I am doing here on mumsnet!

OP posts:
monkeyfacegrace · 16/07/2011 19:58

Ivor, its a very good car.
1.8d wont be affected by 97k, it will have been a lease car and most of those miles will be motorway which is how a diesel is meant to be driven.
It wont be expensive insurance either as its only a 1.8 engine, its heavy oil, and isnt a high risk of theft.
Good choice.

monkeyfacegrace · 16/07/2011 19:59

Ivor, it doesnt have a cambelt, its a chain.

nolembit · 16/07/2011 19:59

Unless of course it has a timing chain which I believe a lot of BMW's do - they are meant to last for life.

TigerseyeMum · 16/07/2011 20:00

It's not that the engine will conk out at 100k (although our Honda had to be rebuilt at 124,000) it's the other parts - gearbox, clutch, flywheel, possibly wheel bearings, steering rack...I would not buy a Beemer with that mileage, sorry, no way.

YANBU to want to be involved in a major family purchase, whatever it is. In our household we do all the purchasing together, whoever is the 'expert' on it. If one person genuinely has no opinion then they say so and let the other make the decision.

If you took an interest, wanted to be involved, then he was rude, arrogant and disrespectful to exclude you.

TigerseyeMum · 16/07/2011 20:01

It was the chain on our Honda which snapped - a very rare occurance but does happen - so hey rebuilt the engine for us. Took 3 months.