Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To expect my 3 (very nearly 4 year old) to know at least Some of her numbers and letters after a year of preschool?

69 replies

pingu2209 · 14/07/2011 19:03

I think I have PMT so not really rational. I am really pissed off with my dd. She is very nearly 4 (2 more weeks) and has been at preschool for a year. She starts school in September.

I have been testing her letter and number recognition (only PINSAP and 1-5).

She didn't know any of them, not one of them.

I know that they have been doing LOADS of work in the preschool on the above letters and numbers and I am really pissed off.

I am also very worried. Her eldest brother has a severe language disorder and he really really struggled to learn any numbers or letters at the same age.

I had to walk away as I wanted to shout at her, which I know is unreasonable.

AIBU?

OP posts:

wearenotinkansas · 14/07/2011 22:51

tbh I think the idea of testing a 3 year old is a bit strange (to put it politely). I agree with those who suggest you should be teaching numbers and letters that have significance to your DD - ie number 3 atm - and the first letter of her name. It's what I've been doing with mine who is about the same age. I've tried teaching her other stuff but she really isn't that interested.

I really thought pre-school was more about making playdough hedgehogs and paper lanterns...

Incidentally,one of my extended family couldn't read until he was 8 and ended up vice-corp of a major US company, so it's kind of early to worry.

bubblesincoffee · 14/07/2011 23:25

I haven't read the whole thread yet so I may well be repeating, but the pre school will be teaching letter sounds, not what each individual letter looks like and is called. There is a big difference.

Also your dd has two more years left of the foundation stage, she is not behind just because she doesn't know the names of letters and the numerals.

You need to learn more about the EYFS and what your childs achievements and targets are, the pre school is obliged to help you with this and explain it to you.

Also, you spend a lot more time with your child than the staff do, you can teach her stuff too!

bubblesincoffee · 14/07/2011 23:29

Oh, and I work withing the EYFS, and we really don't use SATPIN. All of our children are working well within their age range guidelines.

A1980 · 14/07/2011 23:38

Is it really too much trouble for you to teach your own child these things?

Why did you wait for preschool? You could have done it before then.

cory · 14/07/2011 23:47

I am sure I didn't know any letters or numbers at the age of 3. Didn't stop me from getting my PhD at a rather more advanced age.

Yes, I can understand why you are worried given your older child's SN. But it is not fair to let that overshadow your younger child's childhood: your worries are part of your burden in life, not hers.

cestlavielife · 14/07/2011 23:47

you are BU.
if you are concerned ask your Ds's therapists to assess her very informally and see if they think she should be properly assessed - but it sounds like she well within range.

yes some language disorders run in families.
yes you might end up with two children with SEN. it happens.

but at least you know what to do right? how to get help, what the procedures are...

(my dd was physically similar to ds1, walked v late etc...language was advanced but behviour was very ASD - like him - thought she would be diagnosed like him, his paed referred her for assessment etc...turned out she has coeliac and once on gluten free diet herASD-like behaviours all disappeared... so given the family history -ask for an informal assessment to see if she does need any extra help -or does have anything similar (or different) to her brother.

but it isnt /would not be her fault or yours - your job is to support her whatever her difficulties or not .

but speak to nursery -they will be informally assessing under early years - ask them if they have any concerns - if they dont then maybe you shouldnt either

NearlyNotYoung · 15/07/2011 00:13

My DD loved me to read The Gruffalo book - she learned it by rote and pointed at the words as she 'read' the story just as I had. Recognition of letters & words came this way, with fun, games & child led interest.

A point to note for those with young readers; please get their eyes tested. We've known kiddies who struggled with reading /concentration in years 1 & 2 when they actually needed glasses. I'm not suggesting that's a problem with a 3 yr old though. As long as they start to sit still for five minutes you're on to a good start! Enjoy your little one - they grow up too fast

WinkyWinkola · 15/07/2011 00:14

Totally yabu. Who cares? It's pre school. They all learn soon enough. Let her play. And stop being ridiculous.

Pang · 15/07/2011 00:21

Oh poor you. I think you are angry because you are worried. Try not to show your frusttation because the last thing your dd needs is to feel a failure at age 3.

When you are out with her count, count, count! Count birds and leaves and cars and trees and what ever else you can find because it is best to work with concrete things as opposed to the abstract. Point out the numbers on doors and on buses and on car etc so that she can relate the number name to the symbol.

Don't worry about teaching her SATPIN. Teacher her to recognise her own name and the name of family members and other meaninful things. She might even want to try copying these things.

Make things fun and make it a game. Don't make it stressful or she may struggle because of fear of failing. Relax and enjoy her childhood.

Good luck

VforViennetta · 15/07/2011 00:59

Can I suggest those foam letters that stick to the sides of the bath, honestly both of my children loved these and making learning a part of everyday things is a good idea.

My dd was well away with letters and words and numbers at this point, my ds1 is at the same point as yours, he is about to finish preschool and has only a random grasp of letters and numbers. He recognised 70 the other day but if you asked him he would have no clue, he recognises a few letters but not all by a long shot.

They have done a bit of phonics in nursery, but it is mostly play, chill out they are 4 and 5, still very tiny, who gives a crap if they can read.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 15/07/2011 07:32

I'm surprised no one has suggested this already, but get your Dds eyesight tested. I was in a very similar situation in January this year, after 2 years at preschool where they did teach letters etc, and a term part time at school, dd wasn't recognising her letters or numbers. I spoke to the teacher several times about it and my concerns were dismissed as normal for a child of her age. I knew something wasn't right, so I took her to the optician and it turns out the poor kid needed glasses. Within 2 weeks of having them she knew all her letters and was starting to read, and she has since caught up with the class thankfully. If I hadnt taken her to the optician she would probaby not be much further on now, as it's impossible to recognise letters when you can't actually see what they are!
Yanbu to be upset and questioning this, it is frustrating when you think she should be able to remember them etc, but don't take it out on her and get angry, whatever the problem is, either sen, vision problems or just immaturity on her part, it's not her fault so please don't be angry with her.

DoMeDon · 15/07/2011 07:38

You are angry at the wrong people - your child, the pre-school. Am sure you are worried due to finding out about DS SEN later. Think you should be teaching her yourself though - your job as a parent.

AlpinePony · 15/07/2011 07:56

Yanbu. What exactly is your excuse for not bothering to teach your child the basics?

Blindcavesalamander · 15/07/2011 14:58

PO, I think that if you had alook at the thread "A thread for the average or below average DC" you will find some wise and comforting words from lots of other posters.

lubberlich · 15/07/2011 16:29

Get a grip.
To be "pissed off" at your poor DD is vile and unreasonable - she is only 3 FFS.
And no - it is no excuse that you are worried because your son has SEN.
If her inability to read and count is so disturbing to you then why don't you teach her?

Flisspaps · 15/07/2011 16:37

YABU.

From the EYFS - Communication, Language and Literacy - Linking Sounds and Letters (40-60 months)

Link sounds to letters, naming and sounding the letters of the alphabet.

So she should learn this at some point between the ages of 3 1/2 and 5 years. Certainly to learn to be able to do this already at nearly 4 would make her above average in this area.

Stop worrying, let her play and think about reading and writing once she actually starts school.

littleducks · 15/07/2011 16:39

I think I can understand why you are angry, I expect you are probably a bit 'over emotional' as you are concerned and worried that she may have a language problem. But knowin SATPIN or not at this age won't really be an indicator.

I 'tested' ds on some letters the other day after nursery parents evening. He had been showing no interest in learning letters (which both me and nursery are ok with and are trying to just incorporate an awareness into things he does enjoy).

So we built towers (activity he loves) with some blocks that had letters on, and just chatted about it. Turns out he knows quite a few of the letter sounds and when he felt it was relevant to building the 'best tower in the world' he could recall them.

It is possible that your dd does know or has taken in some of what has been mentioned in preschool but just isnt ready to experess it yet, or just wasnt interested in the activity/test you gave her.

spiderpig8 · 15/07/2011 16:42

OP-she has no interest in learning it that's the only reason why she doesn't know them .
Even pigeons can be trained to recognise letters I'm sure your DD is a lot smarter than a pigeon.

The very real and present danger is that you could switch her off for many years to come.As others have said just enjoy books together and number rhymes counting as you go upstairs.Very casual fun and NO MORE!!!

girlywhirly · 15/07/2011 17:15

Pingu, what about a tactile approach to letters and numbers? You and she can write them using a finger in sand, or on paper with finger paint. Use big chalks or crayons instead of fiddly pencils, cut letters and numbers out of fabric or even sandpaper to run a finger over.

Flip

1 2 3