To expect my 3 (very nearly 4 year old) to know at least Some of her numbers and letters after a year of preschool?

[pingu2209]

I think I have PMT so not really rational. I am really pissed off with my dd. She is very nearly 4 (2 more weeks) and has been at preschool for a year. She starts school in September.

I have been testing her letter and number recognition (only PINSAP and 1-5).

She didn't know any of them, not one of them.

I know that they have been doing LOADS of work in the preschool on the above letters and numbers and I am really pissed off.

I am also very worried. Her eldest brother has a severe language disorder and he really really struggled to learn any numbers or letters at the same age.

I had to walk away as I wanted to shout at her, which I know is unreasonable.

AIBU?

I was expecting you to say you were angry with preschool, and I was going to respond "well, you can teach her yourself if it matters that much to you". but to be angry with your dd? even given your worries after ds1, yes, yabu. try teaching her yourself. start with the first letter of her name, then try and spot it when you go out. car number plates, shop signs etc. see if she can recognise it within a couple of days. perhaps this will reassure you?

What is SATPIN? Never heard of it and have a four year old dd at preschool nursery .
Have you tried introducing numbers/letters into everyday life like previous posters have suggested? I think learning begins in the home.

She can count but can't recognise numbers written down on paper. She also recognised her own name from picking it out on a table and putting it on a board. However, if her name is written anywhere else she can't recognise it.

SATPIN is the start of learning to recognise and write the alphabet. They don't learn the alphabet in alphabetical order, they learn S first, then A, then T, then P, then I and then N and so on.

she sounds perfectly normal to me then! try and relax about it.

Ahhh, thank you. :)

I think you need to ejoy your daughter for who she is, which includes being a VERY young child. Don't compare her to others, she is her own self and will develop at her own speed. Celebrate all the things she does well, whether it's painting, running, singing, plaing imaginatively, cooking with you, making mud pies or anything else. Before I had my daughters I was a nursery school teacher. Learning and life are not races. She is still so little. I think you have possibly been hoping she will somehow 'compensate' for your son's problems. PLEASE help her to enjoy her early years, and enjoy them with her. Don't get hung up on nonsense. Let her be her age. Ther is so much more to childhood and learning thatn recognising numbers and letters. Have a walk in the woods with her. Take her to visit some farm animals. Make a cake. Do potato printing. Laugh together. They will go through it all again at school anyway. If you stress her she will find it much harder to learn. Wishing you a change of perspective, a sigh of relief and a jollier time!

pingu - for goodness sake! Relax! And please don't feel 'pissed off' (a phrase you used twice in reference to your own child). There's a clue in the name - PRE school, ie teaching children skills they need BEFORE they start formal education (like socialising, playing nicely and going to the toilet on their own).

I have 3 children - all now in top sets at grammar school. Only one of them could recognise letters/words at your daughter's age; one of them couldn't read a word until he was six. One of them could read fluently at 3, but is no better academically now than his siblings. Children learn at different rates and pushing them/getting angry with them is completely counter-productive.

Give your child a break - PLEASE

My 3yo switches off very easily if I attempt any kind of formal-type learning with her, eg looking at letters in a book etc. But she surprises me by pointing at letters on street signs etc and telling me what they are, or pointing to the number 3 on a door and saying that's how old I am.

She probably felt under pressure and didn't like it so switched off. Try pointing things out casually in a fun way and see if that helps,

My 3yo switches off very easily if I attempt any kind of formal-type learning with her, eg looking at letters in a book etc. But she surprises me by pointing at letters on street signs etc and telling me what they are, or pointing to the number 3 on a door and saying that's how old I am.

She probably felt under pressure and didn't like it so switched off. Try pointing things out casually in a fun way and see if that helps,

I would be pissed off if a preschool pushed a 3 year old

YABU

my son has just turned 3 and knows numbers up to 15. Preschool do a lot of learning through play. He does love counting and gets excited just counting red cars, spoons on table etc.
If you are getting annoyed now, god help you when they learn to read!!!

Please relax, this is not any kind of indication that she has SEN. Children at that age can be clueless about that kind of thing (despite teaching) for ages then suddenly one day it clicks and they do it all and more, maybe even when you have given up trying.

YABU.

Even if all your anger comes from your issues with your DS, you need to deal with it in a different way than projecting it on to your daughter.

My DS will always answer 'don't know' and refuse to 'perform' with letters and numbers then play with reading them on his own or with me instigated by him.

Do not pressurise her. She can probably smell your desperation and be afraid of your reaction.

Early Years is preschool, she does not need to know this until school.

You need to change your attitude before you put her off learning with you, as that will be really sad.

YABU.

I have no idea if my 3yr old can recognise any numbers or letters, he will also start school in September. The way I see it he is 3 he spends his time outside hunting for woodlice, role-playing that he's a guinea pig, building fortresses out of cushions. He isn't interested in sitting and learning letters and to be honest at the age of 3 I'm not about to push it, that will just put him off for life. I read to him every day, do fun counting games etc. I will encourage the rest when he is a bit older and more ready to learn.

I do see why you are concerned with your ds's history, but your Dd is a perfectly normal 3 yr old IMO.

Oh honestly, I don't think that my son knew his letter sounds at 3 years old. Prehaps it had something to do with the fact that he had severe glue ear. However he now has a reading age of 11 at the age of nine. He got level 4Bs in optional year 4 SATS and is certainly not SEN.

I think that being pissed off with a small child for not knowing letter sounds is unreasonable. Surely your love for your dd should be unconditional.

I think you are jumping the gun a bit.

You must be really worried. Talk to her keyworker about your concerns - I bet they say not to worry. Is there anybody else that can do numbers with her? Colouring will really help with fine motor skills. She probably just isn't in the mood to regurgitate what she has learnt through the day.

My DS doesn't seem to progress and instead jumps with his achievements. He went from being unable to recognise his name to writing his full name in 7 weeks (almost 5 though). It isn't neat but I am so pleased and he will perfect this when he starts school next year.

I cannot believe that people would be worried about this at the age of 3

Really. Drop your shoulders! :(

The job of a pre-school is not to teach literacy etc but to gently develop skills needed in primary school - mainly through play. So, listening, sitting quietly, taking turns, co-operation, and practical stuff like using the loo alone and fastening shoes, in a forgiving environment. If I thought DS's pre-school pushed him in the way you describe I'd take him out. He likes to talk about numbers and letters, and write his name, but only because we've done it at home when he's shown spontaneous interest.

The only time in our entire lives when we are truly carefree and have no responsibilities is in the first years before school. Let her play :(

I believe the child will be 4 in a fortnight, and in full time school in September?

I can completely understand your worry given that one child in the family has SEN. However, try not to start blaming or worrying about the potential problems your DD has. Is the pre school attached to school?
As the schools have not yet broken up in England and Wales, why not have a word with the reception teacher for the class your child will be going into. Explain your concerns, and ask to be informed the minute they notice anything that might point towards your DD having a noticeable problem.

YABU to be pissed off at your dd

YAAlsoBU to 'test' your dd at 3 years old.

I wouldn't concentrate on the letters SATPIN, they have no relevance to your dd at this age, they are only taught first as these letters form the most VC and CVC words, which your dd does not need to deal with yet. Concentrate on letters that have meaning to her instead. Ds (2.1) recognises o for Oliver, m for mummy, d for daddy, g for grandma, e for Evie ( cousin), c for Claire ( auntie), a for Andy ( uncle), t for Tom ( uncle) and r for rabbit. He learnt these really easily because he wanted to as they represent the people that are important to him.

You are being downright unreasonable. Really.

How to stop a child enjoying their schooling in easy A-Z lesson.

Why not let them lead the pace, interest them by reading, looking at stuff they are interested in, even if it is yet another expensive Thomas Tank comic! One day, they'll turn round and amaze you with their joy at learning something new-SN or not.

I realise that having one child with SN is making you anxious but you can't project that on. It's your problem not hers.

Don't worry Pingu.

The first 3 profile points on the EYFS regarding number are as follows:

1. Says some number names in familiar contexts such as nursery rhymes.
2. Counts reliably up to 3 objects.
3. Counts reliably up to 6 objects.

Number 4 is says number names in order, and number 5 is recognises numerals 1-9.

The first 3 profile points are generally covered at pre school.

HTH

Let her watch numberjacks on cbeebies, my DS learnt to recognize his numbers from it really quickly.

YABU to be so pissed off with her about it. i understand the worry, i had a lot of worry with my DS thinking he would never learn to recognise numbers or how to count etc. between 4 and 4 and 3 months he made more progress than he'd done in about 18 months. i was never angry with him for not knowing things though and now i'm not worried at all. he's still clueless about PINSAP or SATPIN and is only just starting to recognise his name occasionally, but i know he'll do it when he's ready. starts school in September.