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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did Ebay give her my private number!? Really pissed off but it's probably my own fault. EBAY Could she have waited.

97 replies

SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 10:21

I am selling a wedding dress on ebay and it is unworn and in it's box so I didn't have a picture.

I found a picture on Google images and used it, I thought it was just a picture of the dress advertising it on another site and there was no copyright marks on the picture.

I had to go to hospital yesterday and get put on a monitor because my baby hadn't moved in 2 days. They were finding it hard to get a good trace and there was loads of decreases so I was nearly in tears with worry.

I got a phone call and ignored it as didn't want to answer in the ward, person wouldn't give up so I answered the call and asked them to call back and said I was in hospital. They wouldn't hang up and went on to ask where I got the picture from my ebay listing, I told her and she went on to tell me it was her in the picture. I said I would remove it but had to go, she kept going on about where I got the picture and I said I would remove it and hung up.

Came home to a message on ebay saying remove it or she will take legal action, I removed it immediately and replied to the message.

I have no idea how she got my phone number!? And I am fuming that she wouldn't hang up when I said I was in hospital.

I know I was wrong for using the picture but I didn't claim it was mines o even the same dress.

Am I being unreasonable? Should I have answered all of her questions while in hospital?

OP posts:
TheRhubarb · 14/07/2011 10:59

Chill out and breathe.

Now look at this situation again.

She saw your listing on ebay using one of her images from her website. She contacts ebay, gives them the link to her page and demands your details as she threatens ebay with copyright infringement for hosting the image and/or possible stolen goods. Ebay, wishing to avoid any court harrassment give her all your details. I think they may even be obliged to do so, however they should have also taken your listing down as a violation of copyright. Their bad.

That is how she has your name and your telephone number, because your details would have been registered in ebay.

Right now however, this is the last thing you should be focusing on. You have removed the pic, you have emailed her and now you are getting yourself all wound up about it when you should be relaxing and trying to take it easy until your next scan.

larrygrylls · 14/07/2011 11:00

Schrodinger,

Make sure you count kicks and any absence of movement has to be dealt with as an emergency. Don't be afraid to go back in and be monitored as many times as needed and kick up a stink and demand a scan as a matter of emergency.

Just turn up if you are not getting enough movements, don't wait!

DogsBestFriend · 14/07/2011 11:00
Blush

I didn't read the OP properly, did I?

Sincere apologies Larry (and SM). Blush

I'll get me coat....

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 11:01

Rhubarb I guess I am just trying to make my mind off things, but you are right it is done now. :)

OP posts:
TheRhubarb · 14/07/2011 11:03

I second Larry, if you are not happy with the baby's lack of movements then go in and demand another scan. It could be that the baby has got into position for labour - not sure how far gone you are? But it's a worrying sign nonetheless and I'm surprised they didn't keep you in under observation.

Don't think they know best. Sometimes they are rushed and make bad decisions. You know your body best and you know what is normal and not, so trust your instincts and don't hesitate to demand treatment if you feel your baby is under threat.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 11:03

Larry Hospital have just phoned and told my my scan is on Wednesday.

While I am here can anyone tell me what they might be looking for on that scan?

OP posts:
TotemPole · 14/07/2011 11:04

Rhubarb, I can't see them doing that without a solicitor being involved. Also, if ebay are involved it's likely the first course of action would be the listing is removed.

To me, it sounds as though the person in the photo has obtained the OP's phone number in another way.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 11:05

Rhubarb I will be 28 weeks on Monday and have Hypermobility, suspected EDS and have been told before there is a chance I will go into early labour.

He started moving a lot while on the monitor, so much so they couldn't get a good trace at points. Could he have been doing this in distress? Confused

OP posts:
larrygrylls · 14/07/2011 11:09

Absence of movements plus decels seems to me to be time for an emergency C!
It just amazes me that they sent you home. Did you just see midwives or was the trace reviewed by an obstetrician? Are you getting regular movements now?

Maybe I am overreacting but the way you have posted ("lots of decels", "not much movement") sounds more like a medical aemergency than a time for watchful waiting. Make sure you count kicks and physically go to the labour ward if she is slowing down.

In the scan they will probably see how much movement is taking place, size of baby, heartbeat, maybe flow of clood through the placenta and amount of fluid around the baby...inter alia.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 11:12

Larry While they were doing the trace the MW's told me there was decreases. I could see them on the print out as well. I was on it for 2 hours, then the Doctor came and said that my trace was fine. Confused

Had a few movements last night but none yet today, I think I can feel something under my rib though, normally when he moves a lot you can see my stomach going crazy but nothing like that yet today.

Thanks for the reply Larry.

OP posts:
TheRhubarb · 14/07/2011 11:16

Next Wednesday? Seriously?
You know what? I'd be tempted to call out an ambulance and have yourself admitted to A&E as that's the only way you'll get another scan today. As Larry has said, the readings you got should have been cause for alarm.

You saw decreases on the print out, so did the midwives, but the doctor said it was fine? Was he looking at the right print out? Did the midwives not raise any concerns?

With your medical history you should be in observation, sorry. I would go back to the hospital NOW.

larrygrylls · 14/07/2011 11:18

Clearly, being a man, I have no idea what movements actually feel like, except when they are big enough to be felt from the outside. I am sure someone else can give you good advice on that. Do you know the sweet/cold/hot thing? Drinking and then lying down and waiting for "reactive" movements.

The movements during the scan sound much more reassuring. Generally, all movements are good.

A 28 week old should have a base heart rate around 150 (from what I remember). So, you will naturally get variations like an adult has, depending on whether the baby is resting or playing. I guess a trace should be somewhere between 110 and 170 (again, i am sure there are more knowledgeable people on here to confirm that) with good accelerations within it.

Just make sure that you take a pro-active role and don't just trust the hospital based on one trace. If you feel something is not right, make a fuss until you are thoroughly checked over.

Glitterknickaz · 14/07/2011 11:19

No, get it dealt with Schrodingers..... do the A&E thing if necessary x

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 11:21

He did look at the print out, but if he moved a lot last night does that not mean he is okay?

He said he was sending me for a scan because I have been in a few times because he hasn't been moving. Last night was the first I was on a monitor.

While the MW's were looking at the print out they kept asking me if I was having any contractions. I called about 4 days ago with agonising cramps and they told me to take paracetamol.

I have been feeling something especially last night and I don't know what it is, it feels like pressure on my stomach I thought he was lying against my tummy but I didn't know last night if it felt like tightenings.

The MW's felt my tummy so would they not have felt if he had moved into position?

I had seen 2 Doctors last night, one when I had been in about 40 mins and she said she wanted to keep me on the monitor for as long as possible then later a different Doctor came and let me go and told me I was to go for a scan.

OP posts:
Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 11:23

Larry I was looking at the monitor while they were doing it and the numbers were ranging from 70 something to 260 something, but could this not have been false from him moving so much?

Glitter I don't know what to do, if I go back I'm sure they will just say the same thing and tell me to wait until Wednesday.

OP posts:
larrygrylls · 14/07/2011 11:27

Scrodinger,

270 sounds impossible! Sometimes, particularly if the mother is ill, babies are tachycardic (heart too fast). When my wife had a fever our baby was once measured at just over 200 but that is not healthy.

The monitors do sometimes move from the foetal hb to the maternal hb (i.e 70 might have been your heart).

The movements last night sounds reassuring.

I would at least phone your midwife and ask for advice on movement monitoring and maybe doing a kick chart.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 11:30

Larry I didn't understand the numbers on the monitor. Confused

I don't have a MW to phone, I've never been given one.

OP posts:
larrygrylls · 14/07/2011 11:33

In that case, phone the labour ward, explain that you do not have a midwife (?!) and say you want to speak to someone about foetal movement monitoring and kick charts as you have been having concerns about lack of movements. Do not accept anything other than a proper conversation with a knowledgeable midwife and get her to explain everything until you are really comfortable with it.

It is their job to make sure you give birth to a healthy baby. Don't worry about bothering them.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 11:36

I don't have a MW because I am consultant led.

I'll try phoning my consultant.

Thanks for the advice. :)

OP posts:
Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 11:39

Just phoned my base and the MW said that Maternity Assesment should be monitoring me. Confused

OP posts:
justkeepingheadabovewater · 14/07/2011 11:41

Speaking from experience, don't take no for an answer! Hope all is ok.

warthog · 14/07/2011 11:44

phone and insist on a scan now. tell them things don't feel normal. honestly, nothing to lose by doing that.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 11:48

They have told me to drink something icy and sit for an hour, if he still doesn't move I have to go back in.

OP posts:
larrygrylls · 14/07/2011 11:54

Makes sense. Let us know how you get on.

If you end up going in, given your history, try to get some more general advice on movement monitoring and kick chart. In fact, try to do this anyway.

I think the picture has somewhat changed. The fact that you are getting good movements some of the time (like at the scan and last night) is good news and, at 28 weeks, you may not be feeling every movement depending on the baby's position. In addition, I imagine the doctor judged the "decels" in the monitoring session to be due to the monitor switching from the fhb to your hb.

So, don't panic, things may be totally normal. You just do need to be aware of movement monitoring and what is or is not a real cause for concern.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 14/07/2011 12:01

Okay, thanks. :)

I just feel like a timewaster phoning them all the time as he normally starts moving when they put the gel on my stomach.

I have tried sitting an icy bottle on my stomach for a couple of seconds too to see if he would move, no such luck.

I can feel where he is lying, so very close to the front.

I just hope everything is okay.

OP posts: