i dont think i am... I am SOOO upset

[nannyl]

I am currently nearly 32 weeks pregnant.

OH & his brother run their own (very successful) company, and a couple of years ago I moved up here with OH. (having just signed a 5 year deal he could not move, down to me I could, so I did)
His family all live within a 10 mins drive (many 10 min walk) and they are all really lovely. I couldnt ask for nicer "in laws"
To be here I moved 5 hours away from my family (who i am also very very close to) so clearly now i dont get to see them very often at all... which is part of the sacrifice i made when i moved!

Every year, for ever, my aunt / uncle / cousins (who live aborad) come over for a week in the summer. Always the same week (my mums birthday week)

This week has been booked into our diary since last year, and at 33 weeks pg we planned to do the 5 hour trip down south 1 last time, before baby comes, so i could see my family, and drive back at 34 weeks.

This is been booked for a year

Tonight OH comes home to tell me that "sorry he cant come anymore, as his brother has given other staff the same time off" Not only that but he has known for weeks and hasnt told me . And since having holiday agreed, his other staff have booked their holidays abroad, and they will be so understaffed that OH simply has to work and cant get time off.
(we are talking 4 days where he is "needed")

Now I am really quite upset....

1. I only ask for us to see my family for 2 weeks a year... this week in the summer, and a week around Xmas or New Year. (we do 1 Xmas here, then new year away, and the following year Xmas away and New year here)

He gets to see his family all the time.... and we see them pretty much every week (which is fine, i love them, they are all great).... But i miss my family too and these 2 trips a year mean a LOT to me.

Given that i am so pregnant its not really possible to go at any other time either...
the 5 hour journey can often be 7 hours when traffic is bad.... and as im planning a home birth i HAVE to be here from 37 weeks.... not 5+ hours drive away!

OH NEVER takes enough holiday (which really irritates me... Although he runs his own company he is "employed" by his company, yet last year didnt even have his legal minimum 28 days holiday.
We were supposed to have 1 week together in June which was cancelled (was too busy at work) but i let it go knowing we still had this week together in July.

Now that has been cancelled to.

Also my Dad is very poorly (mentally ill after a stroke) and this week we are there, his carer is also on holiday... no problem, im around and can see and look after and help him.... but now i cant

I dont wanna fly heavily pregnant (and not practical as i will have no car at other end)

I just want a few days together with OH before we have a baby who will be with us for the rest of our lives!

Is this too much to ask?

My Mums view is that im very very very lucky to be able to be a SAHM (yes i am, and its only possible because OH works so hard) and that most people who run their own buisnesses work more than OH does. (Mon - Fri 9-5) so i just have to accept it.

My view is, given that i gave up all my friends and family to move up here, with a years+ notice I should be allowed to see my family twice per year

(OH thinks i can go myself... but i dont fancy a 5 - 7 hour drive while so pregnant, and while unlikely it IS possible that i could go into labou 100+ miles from everyone i know, and its not a risk im prepared to take, also aswell as seeing my friends / family i wanted some last time together with me and OH... and i dont want to go away for a week all by myself

There are no alternative holiday dates available before baby is born either.

Im not even wanting to go "on holiday" as such Just to go and see my family

I think they should just get a temp in for a few days and get buy.... the buisness wont collapse in 4 days.... they might just get a bit behind, but its the summer, its tough is my opinion..... and perhaps next year OHs brother might think twice before allowing too many members of staff to book time off.

OP - haven't read all this thread but thought I would mentioned that I am 33 wks pg tomorrow. I am currently staying with family on 10 days break. DP couldn't come because didn't have enough holiday. I did a 7 hour train journey (including 1 change ) with all my luggage and 4 yr old on very busy trains. You need to book a seat but it is doable. You can also request passenger assistance from the train company/ train station - you'll need to ask 24 hours in advance. It's not guaranteed if pg but definitely worth asking for help. I didn't actually get any for the change over, which was a bit stressful but entirely manageable.

Can someone not pick you up so you don't have to do the underground - or could you get a taxi for this bit?

2rebecca - the situation is completely normal, not bizarre at all, it's a very common set up. It's often tax efficient to take up to the national insurance threshold/personal tax allowance per year as salary and the balance as dividends. They are not in this situation technically self-employed.

Technically, he is entitled to take his annual statutory holiday entitlement, but since if he was unhappy, he would be suing himself as the company, it really makes no sense that he has to take it if he doesn't want it! I do think though that really efficient business owners ensure they don't work themselves into the ground. He really should be able to plan a week's holiday with a year's notice. Makes me wonder if he ever really intended to go at all , but hope this is not the case. Hope your visit goes well :)