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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if you tell someone that your child is vegetarian...

461 replies

Tollund · 12/07/2011 12:11

that they should respect this and not then try to feed them meat?!

At a birthday party with DS1 who is four and a parent there offered my DS a sausage. DS took one (as he didn't know is it was veggie or not) and I politely said to the man "thank you, but he's vegetarian."

He said "yes, I know, they told me that. But I thought I'd see if he wanted one, and he took one, so let him have it."

I ignored him and told DS not to eat it.

THe man then started on at me about how I should let him make his own choices and to let him eat it which I refused to be drawn into, politely telling him no and then walking away.

He then went up to the mother of the child whose party it was (about 10 feet away from me) and starts banging on about me not letting him eat meat!

I think this man was monumentally ignorant - why does he think he is in a position to make food choices for my four year old child? What if DS was Jewish? Or had allergies? I'm now loathe to let my DS anywhere near this man's child or to go to parties where this man might be - IABU? (I don't think I'm BU in terms of making dietary decisions for my son at this time in his life, but whether am BU in wanting to keep my DS very far away from that tool!)

OP posts:
thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/07/2011 14:32

unclefest well I do live in Walthamstow.....

But thats not the point! Grin

Sn0wflake · 12/07/2011 14:33

I was brought up vegetarian as were my brothers. When my middle brother was three or four he was taken out and given sausage and chips at the beach (they knew we were vegetarian). The result was that he was very ill for three days. Uncontrollable diarrhea all over the shop.

So the point is that that letting someone who is purely veggie eat what they like at parties is not a good idea....and certainly if you were going to let them eat other stuff sausages are not a good first port of call.

Anyway we are all still vegetarian and happy with that. I'm bringing up my sons vegetarian as well.

And whoever said milk industry is just as bad - I totally agree but find it very hard to take that step because I love cheese. I feel ashamed.

unclefest · 12/07/2011 14:33

ah, that explains a LOT Grin

thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/07/2011 14:34

I am clearly very old because I went veggie in...........drum roll.......

It were ard then. No quourn, no ready meals just this orrible powder that you were supposed to make into....Sausages!

Sosmix bluegh.

You lot dont know how lucky you are with your fancy shmancy Southern Style Quorn Burgers (mmmmm)

Sn0wflake · 12/07/2011 14:36

thefirstMrsDeVere - I also live in Walthamstow - I wonder if I have ever seen you?

CareyHunt · 12/07/2011 14:36

I bloody love a bit of sosmix.
Beanfeast too I seem to remember.
TVP was shite though! (1988 for me)

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 12/07/2011 14:37

You live in Walthamstow?! Not that far from me.

NoHunIntended · 12/07/2011 14:37

I wish I had gone vegn in '86, MrsDeVere*. I was old enough to know better, but was woefully ignorant.

unclefest · 12/07/2011 14:38

beanfeast is tasty, but rather windy Confused

NoHunIntended · 12/07/2011 14:39

Actually, as I said before, I would have loved to have been raised veg*n from birth (conception). Wish that was the default position.

Original poster
Tollund · 12/07/2011 14:48

I was raised veg from birth, but there was a period of several years (when I was about 5 onwards) during which I was forced to eat meat and it was fricking awful. I would never make my children eat something they didn't want to, but I will let them choose at an age where they're old enough to have a good look around an abbatoir... Wink

OP posts:
Cutelittlecatlover · 12/07/2011 14:52

Yanbu, I'd have been livid!

My 20mo ds is vegetarian and will be until he makes the decision not to be, not some ignorant fuckwit at a party!

I don't understand the people who argue that we're forcing our choices on our dcs, surely feeding them meat is forcing your choice on them?!

Blu · 12/07/2011 14:56

"He may have been mentally unstable, he was prior to this doing push ups with several children on his back and showing off like a twat."

He was probably a paedophile.

Or not - but I don't think this thread should leave Active Convos without the possibility at least being mentioned.

rockinhippy · 12/07/2011 15:01

Needs a like button tollund :) -

I CHOSE to be vegetarian at 5, after seeing my Grandad slaughter a Chicken, but did start eating meat again in my 3os due to health problems & desperation - ironically it put me in hospital due to the overload of fat my system wasn't used to - they then pin pointed my Kidney & Gall bladder problem, so in a way it did help with my health problems - I went back to being Veggie, but occasionally I crave it, so eat it as believe my body must need something from it, or I wouldn't crave it

DD has been able to make an informed choice since about 3, though I know kids vary a lot, so I wouldn't presume all can at that age, hence why I agree with parents making choices for them until a bit older, I truly believe she will NEVER willingly eat meat, she is a VERY militant veggie even at 8, she gives me a hard time when I chose to eat meat & I've at a very young age had to have words with her about people been allowed to make personal choices, as she used to give anyone eating a pub roast or restaurant meal with us a REAL hard time

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers · 12/07/2011 15:07

rockinhippy I was both a bit embarassed and somewhat proud when my 3 year old dd stuck her face up against McD's window and made 'bleeeeurgh' expressions!
Sadly now at 11 she eats all the worst kinds of processed junk and LOVES McD's. Must arrange that trip to the abbatoir...
No I have to admit to being a lapsed veggie, but only buy free range and high welfare meat/milk. I don't think sausages are really a suitable food for a child at all.

FreudianSlipper · 12/07/2011 15:13

the man was being an utter twat

he was wanting to belittle you. we do not need to eat meat in our diet, you feel you are doing the best for your child and he may when he is older disagree with you. how did this twat know how healthy his diet is (or not) just because he is a vegetarian, a non meat diet can be very healthy

also if he has never eaten meat eating a highly processed piece of meat like a sausage is likely to give him tummy cramps.

CognitiveDissident · 12/07/2011 15:26

I remember Sosmix (went Vegan in '85)

Lurid pink paste which disintegrated in the pan when you tried to fry it. Kind of a cross between Taramasalata and Artex.

Burgermix was much nicer. I used to make a mean veggie Kofta with it Can you still get Sos/Burgermix?

BTW,OP YANBU Grin

unclefest · 12/07/2011 15:32

yes you can still get them both.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 12/07/2011 15:32

so is it true that veggies lose the ability to process meat?

TeenieLeek · 12/07/2011 15:32

DogsBestFriend you say that not knowing that something is not vegetarian is not the same as not caring, and then use the example of the supermarket selling you chicken samosas by mistake. But the OP doesn't say "he did not know it was not vegetarian", she says "he didn't know if it was veggie or not". That IS the same as not caring.

But then I am formly of the view that the number one rule for all children in alln social situations should be "eat what you're given and say thank you". If parents really think that PFB eating one lousy sausage at a party will do him any harm, make any difference to the perptuation of the meat industry or irrevocably override all their careful education about why vegetarianism is their preferred dietary choice in then they should get a sense of perspective or they are no better than religious fundamentalists.

spamm · 12/07/2011 15:36

Of course he was being a twat, how stupid.

That is the role of a parent, to make reasonable choices for their children.

If I did not make sure my child ate a reasonable diet (in our case, not vegetarian), and brushed his teeth and had showers and did exercise and went to school, he would love to sit playing his Nintendo DS for hours eating green apples (his favourite) and chocolate cake.

I believe our job is to expose him to the right experiences and bring him up as healthy as we can, so he can make good choices for himself, when he is old enough And we must teach him how and when to make choices, so that he does not do things "just because everybody else does."

So YANBU, OP.

NoHunIntended · 12/07/2011 15:37

So if I offered your child a turd-burger, Teenie, you'd be fine for him/her to eat it? Yeh right.

Lousy sausage is what it is!

PuppyMonkey · 12/07/2011 15:38

You could have at least let him have a bit of wafer thin ham. Wink

Original poster
Tollund · 12/07/2011 15:38

Teenie - no one thinks that one sausage is going to "make any difference to the perptuation of the meat industry", you're missing the point that was beautifully illustrated earlier with the slug analogy.

OP posts:
mauricetinkler · 12/07/2011 15:41

YANBU. The man was being an utter wank-face. My son is veggie, I will let him decide when he is old enough to decide. Seriously, if I'd have been in your situation OP I'd have felt like giving the cheecky cunt a back-hander.