to think that if you tell someone that your child is vegetarian...

[Tollund]

that they should respect this and not then try to feed them meat?!

At a birthday party with DS1 who is four and a parent there offered my DS a sausage. DS took one (as he didn't know is it was veggie or not) and I politely said to the man "thank you, but he's vegetarian."

He said "yes, I know, they told me that. But I thought I'd see if he wanted one, and he took one, so let him have it."

I ignored him and told DS not to eat it.

THe man then started on at me about how I should let him make his own choices and to let him eat it which I refused to be drawn into, politely telling him no and then walking away.

He then went up to the mother of the child whose party it was (about 10 feet away from me) and starts banging on about me not letting him eat meat!

I think this man was monumentally ignorant - why does he think he is in a position to make food choices for my four year old child? What if DS was Jewish? Or had allergies? I'm now loathe to let my DS anywhere near this man's child or to go to parties where this man might be - IABU? (I don't think I'm BU in terms of making dietary decisions for my son at this time in his life, but whether am BU in wanting to keep my DS very far away from that tool!)

I haven't read all of this but just so you know, you are not being unreasonable...the chappie shouldn't have offered knowing your son was veggie and shouldn't have gone on about it to you or anyone else.

I am veggie, OH isn't and HE decided to raise our daughter veggie until she is able to make up her own mind on the basis that you can't undo eating meat but you can catch up on it, if you know what I mean? My family ALWAYS have a problem with it which drives me mad...they just don't get it.

What's the book please, moosemama?

I don't know what its called NoHun, all I know is that they both read it in the same classroom at different times and both came home and said they never wanted to eat meat. I was a bit and that there would be a book in a y1 infants class that was that upsetting to them, but the teacher didn't seem to know which book they were talking about when I enquired.

Darn! I need to know!

I know - me too! Its frustrated me for years. I used to help out in that classroom regularly and even used to tidy the books, but couldn't for the life of me work out which book it was. Have even tried looking up various things on Amazon and asking the dcs if any of them were the right books, but no luck.

I have not read the whole thread so my apologies if this point has already been made. I just wanted to say that I find it utterly bizarre that people think that vegetarian parents who raise their children as vegetarian are 'forcing' their beliefs on their children.

As long as the children are allowed to make an informed choice about what they eat when they're older (as I did when I chose to become vegetarian at 8), surely raising a child as vegetarian is not different from raising a meat eater.

In my opinion, anyone who gives their child meat is 'forcing' their beliefs on that child. You say potato...

Bollocks to everyone who says you are being unreasonable. Children don't get to make their food choices. I bet the lot of these would freak out if their kids was given a fucking froot shuit, but vegetarians don't get a say.

No sugar, parents choice.

No meat, parents choice.

Yanbu Op and I cant believe people who say you're unreasonable for not letting your child choose!

Its a choice that as a vegetarian parent you make for your child, in just the same way that any other parent will decide what their child can and cant eat. When my DCs are older they may choose to eat meat and that will be their choice but I wont be the one buying/cooking it and until they are old enough to make a choice I wont be allowing anyone else to give it to them.

Its not just about food, if you have a moral/ethitical view about something why on earth would you raise your child to do the opposite?

YANBU OP and anyone who says you are being U for forcing your choices on a child is most probably a hypocrite - unless they, themselves allow their children to have complete freedom to drink as much coke / fruitshoots / fizzy pop or eat as many sweets /greggs / mcdonalds etc. Otherwise, they are doing the same - inflicting their choices (no, you're not allowed X) on their children.

Incidentally, my children were both raised on a meat free diet (although they did eat fish), and when they got to school I allowed them the choice to eat meat at school if they wanted to (but we don't have it at home) and they sometimes do... although interestingly, neither of my children like 'cheap meat'. As they only have healthy stuff at school - my children had their first experience of a frankfurter at the weekend, and bot girls turned their noses up in disgust (although they have eaten quality sausages from our local village deli / butcher in the past and liked those). They've never had any problems adjusting.

Sorry but your child cannot make his choices you make them for him, why? It is not healthier at all but you force it on your child as if it were some kind of religion.

Let him decide what he wants to eat, not YOU.

Just as others force meat upon their child, do you mean, Fabby?

haha @ Fabby!! So she should just let him eat chocolate all day then if he chooses? As it wouldn't be right to 'force her beliefs' on him and get him to eat anything he didn't want to right? Haha, you just gave me a right laugh!

I remember having a kid home for tea and beforehand the mum phoned me and said "what will you feed him?" I said "dunno, the usual for visiting kids, sausage, chips and beans, something like that" she said "we are vegetarian" I said "OK, quorn sausage, chips and beans".

That was DS1 and 15 years ago though.

With DS2 I expect half his classmates to be Muslim and at any party I do a veggie option - ie cheese n tomato pizza.

I also put on sausage rolls etc for the white kids and leave everyone to make their own choices.

YANBU and I say that as a meat eater. Was brought up veggie but was 'allowed' or, rather, not disallowed to eat meat. Still dont eat loads but that's mainly due to wanting to buy the best, organic - meaning I buy less often. Big fish eater though. (Mostly) Couldn't give a flying banana as to other people's food choices but am surprised you managed to be polite to the twunk!

I find people who allow their kids to eat frozen shit nuggets (or shit sausages!) or fast food way more offensive that parents who bring their kids up veggie.

it would be delightful if other people respected your wishes.

vegetarianism is a tricky one. I am a veggie, but am keen for my kids to make informed choices (even at 2 and 4). my youngest demands 'meat' when she goes to a meat eating household and is aware as much as she is able that it is animal she is eating. my oldest has proclaimed she is a vegetarian for some time now, but I suspect that is because she is much too lazy to chew meat.

I went on holiday recently with a 5 year old who was distressed at the thought of anyone ever eating meat ever, and found it hard to reconcile people he knew eating meat with actually liking them/speaking to them. his mother is a vegetarian and is frustrated/alarmed by his attitude. she is happy to let him eat sweets with gelatine in (see below) but these sweets leave him equally distressed.

another 7 year old wanted to share some sweets that had gelatine in but his mother said, 'oh to be honest he doesn't want to eat sweets that have meat in.' this put him in a difficult position. he wanted to eat but she was putting him off. my daughter who is learning about sharing was upset and confused as we don't have sweets very often and her treat was being hijacked by issues she didn't understand (this child's mother had actually gone out with my daughter and purchased said sweets on my behalf as I was left in car with sleeping child. even I was confused at this point!)

I am under no illusions about meat production as I come from a meat producing and slaughtering background, and am happy to answer questions from the children honestly and without fudging or sentimentality.

Unless there is an issue of food allergies ie a health risk, I think it's fairly wanky to have a hissy fit if a small child wants to eat something that s/he doesn't usually have at home or isn't usually allowed.

Whatever17

*I remember having a kid home for tea and beforehand the mum phoned me and said "what will you feed him?" I said "dunno, the usual for visiting kids, sausage, chips and beans, something like that" she said "we are vegetarian" I said "OK, quorn sausage, chips and beans".

That was DS1 and 15 years ago though.

With DS2 I expect half his classmates to be Muslim and at any party I do a veggie option - ie cheese n tomato pizza.

I also put on sausage rolls etc for the white kids and leave everyone to make their own choices.*

Sorry to be off topic and not trying to nit pick but I had to point out a few things in your post.

1 - Muslim people eat meat so a veggie option is great, but meat is absolutely fine so long as it is halal. Nowadays there are a lot of halal foods available in every supermarket including pizza, sausages, burgers etc..

2 - You do know that 'white people' can be Muslim too? My family are Muslim and definitely white the last time I checked.

Sorry but had to say that.

Doesn't letting your child make his own choices entail letting him try a sausage to see if he likes it?

As far as Halal meat goes, I wouldn't have it it my house, I think it's disgusting, and I am pissed off that so many schools and other public institutions serve it up. Not to mention that you can barely find any takeaways that serve non Halal meat nowadays.

Oh dear David, whats your beef (cheesy pun intended) with Halal meat?

I'm not muslim and eat meat of all types, but just curious as you sound very passionately against it.

Some people object to ritual slaughter as the animal is required to be conscious at the time, which they consider to be cruel (standard practice is to stun prior to slaughter). An alternative objection could be on the grounds of taste, as both halal and kosher meat is drained of all blood which presumably affects the eating experience.

For those veges who think they are safe from CJD, most cases of CJD are considered spontaneous. It's new variant CJD that is thought to be caused by eating infected animals (or people) and that is still very very rare (CJD is very rare in any case).

The party man was quite clearly a bit of an arse, but I don't feel any particular need to respect vegetarians or vegetarian parents for that matter.

Halal meat is banned in the Netherlands, Swedish schools no longer serve it and France and Germany are considering banning it as well.

"but I don't feel any particular need to respect vegetarians or vegetarian parents for that matter."

Why not? I do. I think it is considerate to do so.

I don't feel the need to respect other people's life style choices, ethical or religious beliefs. I would accommodate them, but to me respect means look up to or admire, and as I don't share those beliefs/choices then I don't feel that I should respect them.

Fabby it is "some kind of religion" to me.

after reading this i am going to go and start a topic in chat for some vegetarian and vegan food ideas as well i want some more inspiration