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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be getting seriously annoyed at these facebook posts?

78 replies

nomdeploom · 11/07/2011 21:42

I have a friend who posts articles, blogs and general links around twice a day about breastfeeding on facebook. It ranges from people's blogs claiming x number of babies have died in the developed from being formula fed this year to general facts and statistics.

The reason I am starting to get annoyed is because I didnt BF and neither did several other people she is friends with on facebook who have young children. I feel like it is quite insidious and insensitive. She is a good friend and I would prefer not to feel so irritated with her. Am I overreacting?

NB. I am not looking to be convinced of the superiority of bf (Anyway, thanks to my friend you could tell me anything I havnt read already!)

I am a first time aibu poster so here we go... ...

OP posts:
Insomnia11 · 12/07/2011 12:33

I'd reply contradicting her arguments. I'm not afraid to disagree with someone, no matter how good a friend they are.

MilaMae · 12/07/2011 12:42

There is a good formula feeding support blog and ff support threads,link to those and maybe she'll get the message.

NotJustKangaskhan · 12/07/2011 12:50

I've hid a few people for similar and probably quite a few have hid me. People use their facebook pages as they see fit. I rarely post what's going on in my life (as I think most aren't interested), I typically just post links and often have liking sprees when I get time to read articles of interest. My BIL uses his to post music videos and give grand speeches on how great the US is (and I hid him in order to avoid temptation of saying something I regret and making the family hate me). Hiding is the modern way of playing nice, I guess. You like'em enough to include them in your circle, not enough to listen to them on everything.

lovesicecream · 12/07/2011 12:52

I can just imagen what would happen if you put breast feeding causes the death of .%%% babies on your fb page, you wouldn't be lying as plenty of babies die from contracting HIV from breast milk, it wouldn't make it the right thing to put though

MaxineHeadroom · 12/07/2011 12:59

delete her, she probably won't notice anyway as she's too absorbed in her BF'ing campaign

MsTeak · 12/07/2011 13:06

do they loveis? Are you sure about that? And how many is "plenty"? Hmm you won't be aware then that in some places mothers with HIV are advised to bf as formula is still the worse of two evils when there is little access to clean water?

Don't be complaining about other spouting shite when you're so full of it yourself.

OracleInaCoracle · 12/07/2011 13:08

Yabu, its your problem not hers, there's nothing wrong with trying to educate people.

Ime, the people who get upset about "having bf pushed at them" are projecting their own feelings.

lovesicecream · 12/07/2011 13:16

Yes but we don't have a problem with clean water in this country do we Msteak so it's irrelevant, and thanks for proving my point, you don't mind spouting your irrelevant statistics on ff and death but get all uppity when someone does the same back about bf
Hypocritical? Not much!

MilaMae · 12/07/2011 13:17

Lissie in my experience some mothers seem to feel the need to "educate" re bf when it isn't needed.You'd have to be on planet mars not to know the small benefits of bf for babies in this country.There are 100s of benefits in many other parenting choices.

I'm sure if anybody had the arrogance to continuously try and "educate" people on the benefits of their parenting choices on Facebook there would be a deletefest on Facebook.

A very small section of the population put the benefits of bf above every other parenting choice and like to ram it down everybody's throat anytime,anywhere.It's bonkers but thank god for the delete button,it's the virtual version of "shut the fuck up and mind your own business"-op use it.

JoySzasz · 12/07/2011 13:18

I love the option to hide up-dates and blah from people on FB.

At one point, I only displayed up- dates from 3 friends!

I get annoyed very easily by boring (to me) causes etc...

I put a few back Grin as sometimes, I should have offered support, but I didn't know what was going on ...

MsTeak · 12/07/2011 13:26

Irrelevant? Not irrelavant to the mothers of the dead babies, but its nice to know you only give a bollocks about people in your own country, the foreigners can swing with their dead babies, huh?

You're not "doing the same", you're talking nonsense. leave the debates to the grown ups and go have a 99, there's a dear.

Not that this is about a BF/FF debate (only morons get involved in that pile of shite), itsn about the fact that if you don't have the nous to hide posts you don't like, don't whinge about reading them!

MsTeak · 12/07/2011 13:28

and Mila, the OP never said that her friend was trying to educate anyone, perhaps she's campaigning for nestle boycotts or raising money for african drought relief (which has a BF component). You're assuming and then attacking, needlessly.

lovesicecream · 12/07/2011 13:33

It's irrelevant when choosing ff for your baby in this country and if you think having a debate means insulting people and putting words in their mouth your hardly a grown up yourself are you

MilaMae · 12/07/2011 13:41

What loves said and I was replying to Lissie re "educating".

Not sure why the need for nasty posts MsTeakHmm

mumblechum2 · 12/07/2011 14:53

You're being unnecessarily unpleasant mrs teak

lovesicecream · 12/07/2011 15:01

That's the problem with some people when they can't get everyone to agree with what they are saying, fortunately on Facebook you can hide people or press the ignore button

luvvinlife · 12/07/2011 15:14

FaecesBook is the work of the devil.

Clothilde · 12/07/2011 15:57

YABU.I've read interesting posts from fb friends on breastfeeding, but also on things like car seat safety, keeping children safe in water, was alerted to the potential deadliness of my Beko freezer, and given lots of inspiration for things to do because of links posted by friends.

Most of my friends have causes that they feel passionately about and they often post links relating to those causes. I don't always agree with the things that they post, but I do like that they are able to share information about those things with me.

And also, a link on facebook isn't a whole article. You only read a few words of an article unless you click on the link, so there's no need to read anything you don't want to.

posterofagirl · 12/07/2011 16:21

YABU to be 'seriously annoyed by this. I think you said she doesn't do it IRL, the Internet is a wonderful place to indulge ourselves without offending our RL friends. Which is exactly what you are doing by venting here. She has the same right, yes?

Just hide or skip what you don't want to look at.

Personally the copy and paste cancer/mums/soldier ones bother me more as they come with minimal thought, but that's just me Smile

ballpoolbaby · 12/07/2011 17:37

I would seriously consider deleting her- the willingness to post scaremongering (sp?!) information about dead babies on a trivial site where you say your friends are celebrating their gorgeous tots is a little too bizarre for me. I'd much rather hear about fun things she's been doing with her own kids and posts about quality time she's invested in bringing up her own baby than time wasting passive-aggressive posts on everyone else and how they choose to bring up their children. This whole breastfeeding debate is beyond boring- do it/don't do it, without wanting to sound harsh no one else gives a fiddler's fuck either way about just like you probably didn't before you had children.

ballpoolbaby · 12/07/2011 17:39

sorry the last line wasnt about you OP

thisisyesterday · 12/07/2011 18:07

lovesicecream

you're actually wrong. babies who are exclusively breastfed are actually unlikely to contract HIV.
Breastmilk creates a lining in the gut which does not allow the virus to pass through.

if you're going to argue a point please research it and get your facts right first.

lovesicecream · 12/07/2011 18:53

Oh be real! Your trying to say that breastmilk coats the stomach, oesophagus the intestines and stops babies contracting HIV ? Actually exclusively breast fed babies are less likely to contract it than ones breast and bottle fed as they think formula might irritate the stomach making it easier for the virus to get in, less likely!

And yet again I ask why it's acceptable for people to say formula kills babies (it doesn't) but not to say breast milk does

thisisyesterday · 12/07/2011 20:24

as i say, do your research and then i'll debate it

Original poster
nomdeploom · 12/07/2011 20:27

I suppose the reason I am 'seriously annoyed' (maybe 'a bit irritated' would be more accurate but less attention grabbing!) is because neither of us is a scientist - far from it in fact - so we have read the same facts but come to different conclusions. However, it just often seems to be that some women who bf'd and read some facts on the internet and 'The Politcs of Breastfeeding' get to play the 'experts', 'educating' us less diligent mums. It's pretty patronising and, well, a bit irritating.

I find it rude and smug to post these things, as I would find it equally rude for me to post my point of view in reply to her (as if to say 'hey honey, I think you wasted your time a bit!) . I wouldn't be intersted in trying to change her mind, but she would mine. That's the difference. It makes me feel a bit frustrated and voiceless. That is the reason I am discussing it on here I suppose. But yes, I take on board that she might be posting it to specific people I am not aware she is friends with who are also interested in this.

As a side note: I am not against bf by any means. I think that women should not be discriminated againt for bf, either in public,or in the work place. I also believe that competent support should be available and publicly funded. But I do believe you should be given a balanced view when pregnant and be allowed to choose for yourself without pressure.

Oh dear...big rant! In a year or so this will all be very irrelevant to my life I am sure. And I have hidden her so problem solved!

OP posts: