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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be getting seriously annoyed at these facebook posts?

78 replies

nomdeploom · 11/07/2011 21:42

I have a friend who posts articles, blogs and general links around twice a day about breastfeeding on facebook. It ranges from people's blogs claiming x number of babies have died in the developed from being formula fed this year to general facts and statistics.

The reason I am starting to get annoyed is because I didnt BF and neither did several other people she is friends with on facebook who have young children. I feel like it is quite insidious and insensitive. She is a good friend and I would prefer not to feel so irritated with her. Am I overreacting?

NB. I am not looking to be convinced of the superiority of bf (Anyway, thanks to my friend you could tell me anything I havnt read already!)

I am a first time aibu poster so here we go... ...

OP posts:
2shoes · 11/07/2011 22:31

just hide their feeds(Pardon the pun)

lovesicecream · 11/07/2011 22:32

I've just had a look at statistics in America and what they do is take all child deaths ( prematurity , SIDS, cancer etc) use the statistics on how Many of them were formula fed and add the percentages together so it's abit more complex than formula feeding causes infant death

chicletteeth · 11/07/2011 22:32

Women that do nothing but exclusively post about their babies/activities for babies/how baby impacts their life are boring shits.

Hide her and if she mentions the BFing to you, then have it out.

Comparing death in the third world with the UK due to FF is ridiculous (and I speak as an exclusive BF so am not blinkered)

Original poster
nomdeploom · 11/07/2011 22:36

I wouldnt have an argument with her face to face, would rather rant annonomously on here. I suppose that says that I can see she is entitled tohr opinions, and I should hide her and stop listening.

BTW she never mentions it in RL

OP posts:
PaperBank · 11/07/2011 22:38

YANBU. You say she's a good friend, so smile and tell her you're unlikely to ever agree with her stance on breastfeeding and so you've had to hide her posts for now. Don't get drawn into any further discussion of the topic unless she is really willing to see another point of view.

PedigreeChump · 11/07/2011 22:39

Don't worry OP, I wasn't posting the link to you! I'm sure you have seen every article there is going, like I feel I have seen every tearjerking "Meat is Murder" video there is!

thisisyesterday · 11/07/2011 22:45

why do you need to tell her anything?

she is entitled to post whatever she likes on her own facebook wall. you don't have to read it Confused

i quite often post things about breastfeeding, because I am friends with quite a few people who are breastfeeding counsellors and many of my LLL friends are on there and I know they will be interested in reading it....

just because YOU aren't interested in it doesn't mean her other friends aren't.

so, you should just hide her if it is that much of a problem, or ignore the links.

schmooz · 11/07/2011 22:59

Was going to say delete her, but if she's a good friend then I would just hide her so I wouldn't get any more posts from her (and she'll be none the wiser.)
YANBU that would wind me up too.

Original poster
nomdeploom · 11/07/2011 23:04
OP posts:
MilaMae · 11/07/2011 23:09

Sorry she sounds like an utter insensitive cow(and a bore),why would you want to be friends with her at all-delete.

MilaMae · 11/07/2011 23:19

Seriously it would be like me continuously posting the effects of lack of sleep has on children's health and academic achievement when I know other friends kids weren't getting the recommended 11 hours.

Its just plain nasty.

MeconiumHappens · 11/07/2011 23:42

Its a positive thing to be promoting healthy starts for babies, but can be difficult to hear that what you feed your baby increases their risks of x y and z. Facts are facts though, they might not be nice to hear but that doesnt make them any less true. Unless shes actually saying stuff like "mums who artificially feed are dickwads" then shes not being offensive, you're just getting annoyed at facts. If they make you feel crap though, just hide them- life's too short!

Bandwithering · 11/07/2011 23:49

WEll I'm with the op. Some people become obsessed with breastfeeding. Do it, or don't do it. Those are your options. the endless posts on facebook would make me think looooooooooooooooooooooooon.

i breastfed btw, before yall judge me! but come on. It's not a hobby.

pinkyp · 11/07/2011 23:56

Don't read it then? I have lots of groups that post random stuff - I just scroll past it. Ur friend might just be bringing these things to attention - yeh we all no children get run over, ppl die from smoking but alot of children die from forumla is not something u hear much about

thisisyesterday · 12/07/2011 11:48

no, breastfeeding isn't a hobby, but a lot of people do have a very keen interest in it... like I say, breastfeeding counsellors, peer supporters etc and facebook is a quick and easy way to share new information or interesting articles iwth people you know will appreciate them

it's silly to say someone shouldn't post multiple articles on breastfeeding just in case one of their friends has not breastfed! presumably that person made the right decision for them and is happy with that decision... so why would they be annoyed that other people want to talk about breastfeeding?

it comes to something when you can't post something on your OWN facebook page just because someone else thinks it's offensive. Surely the onus is on them to either hide you, delete you or simply ignore the posts?

itisnearlysummer · 12/07/2011 11:51

Now I am reminded why I don't do FB.

God, how boring it all sounds!

oohjarWhatsit · 12/07/2011 11:54

Am I overreacting?

yes, whats it got to do with you what she thinks

someone posted stuff on their facebook i found offensive, so i deleted and blocked them - no drama, no fuss. My offence taking was my problem not hers

MsTeak · 12/07/2011 11:57

if you don't like it don't read it, but bleating about it being "insensitive" is just pathetic. Should I not post pics of my holidays as it might be insensitive to those who didn't have one? Or perhaps I shouldn't mention my car as to not upset people who take the bus?

You made your choices and frankly, no one cares. But to whine about someone elses interest being upsetting to you because its different to what you did is extremely childish.

ilovesprouts · 12/07/2011 11:57

one of my pals had updates from wen she concived [put pic of test on] to now shes had him every bloody day zzzzzzzzzzz gets boring after a while

allhailtheaubergine · 12/07/2011 11:59

A lot of people use facebook to post links about their personal cause.

I have a friend who posts a lot about the Arab Spring.
I have a friend who posts a lot about animal rights.
I have a friend who posts a lot about human trafficking.
I have a friend who posts a lot about disability.

All these people have adopted their cause for reasons personal to them, and I enjoy getting a window into these issues. I don't read all of them.

I disagree that it is insensitive to post about breastfeeding.

You say insensitive because you couldn't or didn't do it. Well, that was for one of three reasons:

  1. You chose not to, in which case no need to be defensive.
  2. You couldn't. Very unlikely, but a medical possibility. In which case it was entirely out of your hands. Sure, feel sad about it, but don't limit others right to be generally in favour.
  3. You thought you couldn't, in which case surely anything that promotes better information and support for breastfeeding would be a GOOD THING?
lovesicecream · 12/07/2011 12:03

The problem with statistics is they can be taken and used out of context, unless they come from WHO I wouldn't even bother looking at them! don't bother looking at what she writes, being proud of breast feeding is no excuse for ignorance or scare mongering !

MilaMae · 12/07/2011 12:10

Surely Facebook is for chatting and communicating with friends not a public information forum.

If it was how tedious and pointless would it be if we all posted facts and stats re parenting issues eg screentime,healthy eating, exercise,sleep......

Seriously who wants all that? Most normal people I know don't post info continuously on parenting issues,don't we all just check in for gossip????

I find it a little odd and suspect somebody has an axe to grind.We all have parenting issues we're good at and think are important however being obsessed about said issue to the point you post continuously on Facebook is a litlleHmm imvho.

Delete,delete,delete

MsTeak · 12/07/2011 12:28

lots of people use it for causes. Might be why there is a whole section called "causes". Social networking being used for issues raising is hardly a new idea.

You choose who your friends are on FB. They aren't screaming "hey everyone in the world look at me and what I have to say", they are telling people who have chosen to listen what is important to them.

Whinging about what people put on their FB is like sitting with someone in the pub all night and then bitching behind their back about how dull they are. You choose to sit there, stop fucking bleating about the company!

Honestly, most the people complaining about FB clearly have no understanding of how it works (yet seem to generally act smugly superior about how dull it is and how smart they are not to use it Hmm).

PaperBank · 12/07/2011 12:31

Facebook pages for individuals is usually meant to be interaction between friends. I wouldn't expect a friend to sit in the pub promoting breastfeeding or anything else at me all evening.

If someone wants to promote a cause to such an extent, it may be better to have a separate page for that cause, that friends could also choose to join/link to - or hide if not interested.

MsTeak · 12/07/2011 12:32

If thats what they choose to do. Clearly they don't. The onus is on the one who doesn't want to hear it to not listen, not on the one speaking to shut up!

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