to tell my parents that they are a disgrace

[popele]

My brother is graduating from university next week and he is the first in my family to ever do so. The ceremonys next week but now my parents have booked a late availability holiday to Spain and so aren't going anymore. My mum says the deal was too good to miss and so they are going to Spain instead.

Morebeta-please tell me you didn't leave early

No but we were all stood by the door waiting for the car to arrive dead on 10.30 and my parents I think followed us out of the venue in their car.

YANBU it almost beggars belief what they have done.

This has brought to mind an old boyfriend I had. His parents wouldn't go to his graduation (Bristol) because his elder brother had gone to Oxford and his mother said she didn't want anything to supersede the wonderful memories she had of that day. Yes, she was a real cow.

"My mum says the deal was too good to miss "

But watching their child graduate wasn't

Very clear how much they value education. I would tell they they were a disgrace too - with some other words thrown in as well.

'This has brought to mind an old boyfriend I had. His parents wouldn't go to his graduation (Bristol) because his elder brother had gone to Oxford and his mother said she didn't want anything to supersede the wonderful memories she had of that day. Yes, she was a real cow.'

That is shocking!

How rubbish, congratulations to your brother! Walking into a great job straight after uni is an amazing acheivement these days. You will be so proud.

My parents came to both of mine (travelling 120 miles together when they have been divorced since I was 11). I really didn't want to go to my second because it had been a hard horrible slog and I had to rush from a job interview to get there in time (having had to take the robes in with me!) but my parents were the ones who wanted to go and in the end I had a fun day and it was better than the first.

My dad didn't make my sisters because he was delayed coming back from holiday and she was gutted

Why do parents do this sort of thing to their children?

Just a thought to myself really and I just hope I can do better.

Philip Larkin was right.

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Well he was right apart from the last line.

It's a shame that your parents won't be there for your brother; they should be just because it's important to him.

I personally don't particularly think graduations are important, it's the 'icing', isn't it? Nice but non-essential. I went to mine at my Mum's insistence; it was long and boring.

Nothing could stop me and DH from being there when DD graduates next year, if I suggested going on holiday instead, DH would divorce me.

So wrong and so weird, they are indeed a disgrace.

I tend to agree with Imperial - I didn't go to my own graduation ceremony (a very long time ago and tbh until I read this thread I have never thought about whether my parents would have liked to go). I loathe big ceremonies like that (including weddings etc ).

I guess though that if your DB really wanted his parents to be there it is a shame, however I can understand how people feel totally out of their depth at that sort of thing.

Oh jeez! That's awful :(

I am so pleased you can go and hope your sis can too

What odd odd attitudes your parents have :(

YOu could always tell him that the MumsNet Collective offers him their congratulations and are cheering him on.

Well done to him, especially as he's clearly done it with no support from his mom and dad