Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to drink alcohol and get arseholed every time we have a night off!

26 replies

Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 22:49

We have a group of friends, who on the whole are ok. However, They are hardened drinkers, who can not wait for a night off to get "wasted"
I dont generally drink, (shock horror no im not an alien) Its not a hard and fast rule, there are some exceptions, ie I drink if I want to.

Now I have no problem with them drinking, Ill happily go, be alert, be funny, be all the things I would be drunk, sober. I dont always "not drink" infact sometimes i do get pissed but this is a oops too much not a focus of my existence but yet the same conversation takes place. Every. Time.

"are you drinking?"

"probably not"
"why?"
"dont fancy it"
"dont be boring"

ARGGHHH!!!!! Why is it ok for me to have peer pressure when I left school 12 years ago?!
AIBU To have a choice that whilst they need to be hammered in order to relax Im happy just to sit with a coffee and join in the laughs without downing a litre of vodka?!

Would it be unreasonable for me to instead of meekly saying im not boring to say "YEAH WELL YOUR F** ALCOHOLIC - I DO NOT NEED ALCOHOL TO HAVE FUN UNLIKE YOU, YOU SAD PATHETIC PEOPLE."? Angry

HMM, thats a long rant! Sorry!

OP posts:
D0G · 09/07/2011 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 09/07/2011 22:55

Rant away, you look experienced in it Grin

I think when people say this they just want you to be on the same wavelength as them and don't belive you will be without being shitfaced.

It's just the prescribed answer to someone saying they're not drinking, I wouldn't say it myself, but they probably don't mean it in such the heavy way you're taking it.

So why don't you drink then?

AgentZigzag · 09/07/2011 22:57
BornInAfrica · 09/07/2011 22:57

Oh mercy! You're not one of those 'high on life' types are you?

FunnysInTheGarden · 09/07/2011 22:58

yes, news friends are the order of the day. It's lovely to have a few glasses of wine with friends for dinner, but totally shit to feel you have to get plastered to fit in.

No need to say anything, just distance yourself

D0G · 09/07/2011 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 09/07/2011 23:01

What're y'snorting there D0G? That's another thread surely? Grin

SinicalSal · 09/07/2011 23:03

Broaden your circle a bit, Signet. I'm not much of a drinker either and it's so arse numbingly boring doing the same thing every night out. Where to get other friends though, that's the question. Evening classes, chorus the masses (ha! see what I done there), but I haven't personally tried it. I'm into geeky things and am afraid all I'd meet are other geeks

Maybe suggest comedy nights when you go out with them? They can still get pissed but at least you'll have someone genuinely witty to listen to.

DrCoconut · 09/07/2011 23:04

I very rarely drink and feel very at odds with mainstream culture as it seems to demand huge amounts of alcohol with everything. Being pregnant and breastfeeding has been fab because people shut the hell up about booze for a change. We have decided for more than one reason to serve no alcohol at all at baby's Christening.

Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 23:04

i wish i was high on life hahaha Grin

I feel bad cos when they are sober they are fine. They just have to be pissed to have fun!

I actually dont like being pissed. Out of control/ dizzy / sleepy Im a shit drunk.

I also got the need to be constantly drinking out of my system from 13-17 and then became rather boring!

The only alcoholic drink I like is Vodka, which to me is a "going out" drink not something you sit and get pie eyed on in the living room.

I have no issue with them drinking or anyone drinking, its the feeling of being the boring one just because I dont want to!

hehe maybe i should be a crack head then push it onto them saying "goo on, gooooo onnnnn" Wink

OP posts:
wotabouttheworkers · 09/07/2011 23:06

Hi Signet, agree with you. Drink now and again but not to order. Did, however, raise a glass in clebration of the demise of the NoW!!

AgentZigzag · 09/07/2011 23:13

Just tell them you don't like to mix it with your crack cocaine Grin

Just out of the people I know, I've always found the one's who aren't big drinkers don't because they don't like the lack of control.

So are you anal in other areas in your life signet? Grin

Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 23:19

AgentZigzag - I think I do probably take it a bit harder than they mean for it, it just seems every time Im singled out and made to feel shitty when Im not hurting anyone :)

Besides its actually funnier seeing them all trying to make sense of the world in their drunkenness than being drunk.

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 09/07/2011 23:22

DH was having liver problems and had to give up drinking. It was shocking the amount of stick he got and the amount of people tryingbto encourage him into having a drink. Was very hard for him.

YANBU

smelli · 09/07/2011 23:35

I guess it's their choice but it's yours too. I used to have friends like this. Friends who wanted to go to the pub for the rest of their lives and not much else. I had to leave them and find new friends who wanted to do the things I wanted to do. I have always been a bit sad about this, but I think it was the right decision.

SinicalSal · 09/07/2011 23:38

It's the boredom though. And the slobberiness. Same old slurred shite night after night. I don't get that much time to myself I'd rather not spend it listening to stupid self obsessed bores* with my fake 'avin a laaarf' face on.

*who are lovely the rest of the time

Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 23:45

They too, are lovely most of the other time. They just think their way is the only way!

Another example is when trying to arrange a meal out, apparently they had to make special arrangements for me as Im "the fussy one" (they came to this conclusion based on the fact that they like indian food, I dont. I had no problem with still going to the indian and having an english meal or trying a milder curry)

But I also think I'm probably a tad too sensitive at times and need to man up! :)

OP posts:
LRDTheFeministNutcase · 09/07/2011 23:52

Oh, I hate it when people do that.

Because I am a wuss who hates confrontation, I have perfected a coy look and smile which makes people assume I'm pregnant. I've been using it for about 9 months though, so I'm guessing sooner or later my luck will run out ...

SinicalSal · 09/07/2011 23:53

You're like the boy who cried wolf LRD.

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 09/07/2011 23:58
Grin

I know, Sin. I was just so bloody glad the first few times it worked! I may have to think up a better one soon, though.

SinicalSal · 10/07/2011 00:11

They will think you're TTCing and not having any luck - I got that one myself.

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 10/07/2011 00:15

Well, they're welcome to think whatever they like. I really don't like people who respond to 'I'm not drinking' with 'don't be boring' and when it happens, I usually try not to socialize with them if I can help it.

To be frank, and I know this isn't the OP's situation, anyone with a brain ought to realize there are a fair few reasons non-drinkers might not want to discuss why they're not drinking.

SinicalSal · 10/07/2011 00:18

Totally agree.
Signet maybe you could make up ever more outlandish excuses.
'I'm on antibiotics for the boil on my arse' or similar

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 10/07/2011 00:20
Grin
Original poster
Signet2012 · 10/07/2011 00:21

i should try that!! just Smile and act coy!! Might buy me a few episodes of no hassle!

I often feel as though i have to explain my non drinking and have:

  1. I hate being drunk.

  2. Im a crap drunk (i fall asleep and Im normally quiet as opposed to my normal chatting about shite self)

  3. i only like vodka, it gets boring.

  4. I am TTC (even though noone really knows)

  5. I only get one night off work a month dont like to spend it drunk

  6. Sometimes one of them gets really arsey and annoying when she is drunk, if i where drunk Id probably punch her, and she is bigger than me :)

  7. Because I am juvenile. If Im told to do something I wont. Just to be awkward.

:o

OP posts: