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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to never speak to my mum or her husband ever again

60 replies

gerafle · 09/07/2011 21:05

Went over to my mums for a barbecue today and halfway through he just started having a go at me and kept being nasty , he said that I was carrying more timber than the amazon rainforest, my hair was terrible and that I had enough makeup on to paint their kitchen. My brother told him to leave me alone and he then said to him that he should "pull his tongue out of his sisters arse". My mum who was quite drunk found the whole thing hilarious, right now I feel like I never want to speak to them ever again. Angry

OP posts:
glassescase · 09/07/2011 21:07

"his sisters arse" Confused
sounds lovely

effingwotnots · 09/07/2011 21:07

Is this their normal behaviour? They sound completely vile! I'm not surprised you don't want to speak to them!

Longtalljosie · 09/07/2011 21:07

Don't blame you. Was he drunk?

Original poster
gerafle · 09/07/2011 21:08

Yes he had quite a lot to drink

OP posts:
worraliberty · 09/07/2011 21:08

This sounds familiar, have you posted about this before?

Or have I gone quite mad?

The latter is a strong possibility btw Grin

islawhiter · 09/07/2011 21:09

His jealous of you

two2many · 09/07/2011 21:09

Yanbu - they both sound like twats.

Birdsgottafly · 09/07/2011 21:10

You and your DB need an apology, to start with.

Are you generally the scapegoat?

cloudydays · 09/07/2011 21:11

poor you :( you must be feeling so upset.

I'm sure you already know that it's all his problem, and nothing to do with you, or your hair, or your makeup, but those kind of comments can hurt so much even when you know they're not true and not fair.

At least your brother sounds nice.

Jojay · 09/07/2011 21:13

He sounds vile.

Did this rant come completely out of the blue or does he have form for this kind of thing?

Either way, YANBU.

ikoto · 09/07/2011 21:13

YANBU I think the comment to your brother is bang out of line, what did he/you say in response?

TattyDevine · 09/07/2011 21:15

I would limit my time with them. Birthdays, Christmas, the odd pop round on a Sunday, and sit there with air of the cats bum deeply wronged.

I wouldn't cut them out completely at this point - life is probably too short, but only you can decide that.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/07/2011 21:18

He's shocking but sorry for your Mum to find that amusing sounds vile.

YANBU to protect yourself from such knobery. Do you have DC's? and were thay arond too?

TBH I would have to have a pretty big apology to contemplate resuming relations.... Did you leave immediately or wait until everyone else left? (think what I'm getting at was do they know how pissed off you are? not that it will make much difference till they've slept it off)

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 09/07/2011 21:20

I disgreed tatty without an apology (and a genuine one at that) life's too short to be abused and ridiculed but people who are supposed to care about you.

Original poster
gerafle · 09/07/2011 21:20

I left pretty shortly after but I don't think they know how annoyed I am, they were too busy nearly wetting themselves.

OP posts:
latitude · 09/07/2011 21:31

YADNBU he's suggested that you and your brother are incestous, which is frankly apalling and you certainly shouldn't have to stand for it. I would be demanding a massive apology and I think your mothers actions are despicable also.

youarekidding · 09/07/2011 21:31

YANBU.

What would happen though if you retaliated with insults? Not suggesting you ehave childishly but that if he knew how it felf would he be the sort to stop and think?

lookbutdonttouch · 09/07/2011 21:38

YANBU.

I wouldn't speak to either of them again. In fact even if they apologized I would have to think about it.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 09/07/2011 21:42

incestous?

Was he not in fact making an 'arsekissing' joke? sticking up for her/taking her side - arselicker. brown-noser. kiss-ass.

Not anything sexual.

Not that that makes it ok. He sounds like a total twat and I don't blame you for wanting an apology.

DuelingFanjo · 09/07/2011 21:59

Alcohol used to make my ex say shit things like this. If he has a drink problem and won't sort it out then it will only get worse. I hated the way he was when he was pissed, the loudness, the inability to stop himself from saying what he was thinking, the rudeness. In the end I left.

likale · 09/07/2011 22:16

YANBU I would demand a full apology from them both. On the other hand your brother sounds lovely. What did you say back to him?

latitude · 09/07/2011 22:23

magnificent- You're right that totally passed over my head, in my defence I have had a few glasses of wine.

leares · 09/07/2011 22:52

YANBU. terrible behaviour from the pair of them.

tokle · 09/07/2011 23:10

He was drunk, things like that happen you've had too much to drink. He probably didn't mean to offend or upset you, refusing to talk to them would be an overrreaction in my view.

bned · 09/07/2011 23:32

I think you've overreacted, we've all said things that we though were funny when drunk that people who were sober didn't think were funny.

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