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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ear Piercing - What age is ok?

167 replies

WannabeNigella · 09/07/2011 12:31

My friend is letting her DD have her ears pierced for her 5th birthday. I know it is none of my business but I wanted to plead with her not to.

My DD is just 3 and there is no way she will be having ears pierced till at least 12 or 13 the way I feel about it at the moment, preferably 16!

AIBU? What is an acceptable age? I just think that it looks so chavvy when they are young and it's so unnecessary too.

OP posts:
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 16:02

Personally, I think below ten is a no go. I dont have any children myself yet, but a niece who Im very close too, Her mother decided in her wisdom to get her ears pierced when she was 10 months old. She looked stupid. They where wonky. Not to mention she screamed when anyone went near them. In the end I believe my niece's grandmother bribed her mother to remove them! I had a moment when in a shop I overheard a older lady say to her friend "look at that poor kid, she cant even walk properly and she has gone and had her ears pierced" I looked up to see this woman looking at my beautiful niece as if she were contagious. Was devastating, now she is 4 and wanted them doing again but her mother seems to have a bit more sense these days.

TheDeathlyMarshmallows · 09/07/2011 16:03

The guns force the relatively blunt stud through the lobe and tear a hole which hurts more and heals worse. Much better to get it done with a needle.

You do know the reason they do both ears at once these days is because they're not allowed to pierce a crying child right? So if they did the first one and the child screamed, they'd have to stop.

Awful and totally chavvy on a young baby.

DD is going to have to be in Secondary School before she's got a chance of getting me to say yes. I had to wait until I was 16.

itshappenedagain · 09/07/2011 16:05

my DD was 6 months when she had hers pierced, i also took my 5 year old neice for her birthday. My DD made no fuss, my neice screemed the place down refused to have the other one done. my DD has 2mm silver studs in her ears, she does't look chavvy, she looks pretty. my friend is from poland and tells me that all girls ears are peirced in the hospital were she comes from.
all personal preference. people may look at your child OP and think that the way you dress them is chavvy.

itshappenedagain · 09/07/2011 16:07

oh and deathlymarshmellows, that is bollocks abot the crying, as most cry my 30 year old friend did and yet they still continue. they tend to do both at once to save the child knowing what is going to happen.

MothershipG · 09/07/2011 16:08

I've just let my DD have her's done for her 9th birthday. All the arguments I had be using to put her off no longer seemed to apply, she's a pretty sensible kid and she has been meticulous about looking after them.

I looked into it a bit and decided against a teenager in a shop selling tat and we went to a proper tattoo/piercing place. Apparently they have to use a gun on anyone below the age of 16. They only use medical grade plastic studs and they come in a sterilised cartridge that slots into the gun and is never touched at all.

Three weeks later and they have healed up nicely and she is very pleased with them!

coolio2011 · 09/07/2011 16:08

A friend had hers done when she was one, I don't see a problem with it to be honest, obviously it's going to look chavy with big old hoops but who'd do that to a baby anyway? I think small gold/ silver/ diamond studs are fine. Said friend has grown up to be a complete wuss and said she's so glad she had it done when she was so yound as she's never have had the guts to get them done when she was older although would have desperately wanted to.

sittinginthesun · 09/07/2011 16:09

I'm half Spanish, but my mum was totally against getting them done.

My sister (younger) nagged and had hers done at 12, so I reluctantly had mine done a few months later at 14. Stopped wearing earrings when I was pregnant, as they annoyed me, and haven't bothered since.

I have boys, so the only nagging I currently get is about what brand of tennis racket to buy.

BigHairyGruffalo · 09/07/2011 16:18

I don't dislike it because it looks 'chavvy', but I think it detracts from the prettiness of young girls rather than enhancing it. When a young girl has make-up on there is usually disgust (think of all the threads about that 'Baby Beauty Queen' program). I don't condone make-up on young children, but surely piercings are a lot worse!

I feel sorry for little girls with their ears pierced. Sorry that they have parents who consider their 'prettiness' to be a priority at that age and sorry that they live in a society where having a piece of metal through your skin is considered attractive.

weimy · 09/07/2011 16:18

12 -16 when they can actually decide that they want it done.

Looks horrible on babies and toddlers.

Nanny0gg · 09/07/2011 16:18

I just can't believe the daft mothers who don't wait until the summer holidays.
As it takes 6 weeks to heal, strickly speaking that means no PE, games or swimming until you can take them out. And the children never remember to bring micropore tape to cover them if the school permits that.

Nanny0gg · 09/07/2011 16:20

We also have a number of boys (primary) with pierced ears (youngest so far, Year 1), and a couple of Year 6 girls with their belly buttons pierced.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 09/07/2011 16:20

I love the way that the parents of babies with pierced ears are stating that they look pretty not chavvy as if it's fact when the vast majority of people on this thread disagree (including me). Culture etc etc is no excuse for sticking pins through your baby's ears. Dress it up how you like.

TidyDancer · 09/07/2011 16:21

I've seen this argument many times before on MN (as I'm sure most of you have) and I reiterate, on babies, pierced ears look vile. There is no value to having pierced ears, and the so-called cultural reasons do not stand up because this is a decorative thing, not medically required.

It just looks nasty and cheap and extremely tacky on young children. And I make no apologies for judging the idiots that would do that to babies.

TidyDancer · 09/07/2011 16:23

And that, of course, is aside from the fact that if your baby grows up to dislike piercings, there's an excellent chance they will be stuck with holes they neither require nor asked for regardless.

lookbutdonttouch · 09/07/2011 16:27

Not before she is 12 or 13 at least. Although DD says she is never having it done as it will 'HURT'.

Cannot abide it on babies or toddlers and I will admit to instantly judging when I see it.

clemetteattlee · 09/07/2011 16:34

I have said end of year 7 so aged 12. The same rule applies for (minimal) makeup for school. Both are adult things so should be saved until young adulthood.

VanillaRooibos · 09/07/2011 16:52

12 or 13 I would say

BrianAndHisBalls · 09/07/2011 17:04

if you think your babies look prettier with pierced ears why not go the whole hog and get them a spray tan too? Or maybe lipstick?? Actually, both those things can be removed, unlike the holes you have created in your babies without their consent.

LtEveDallas · 09/07/2011 17:07

Dd wants them now as all the girls in her year 1 class have had them for years. I've said no, and that she is to wait until the end of yr 6, going into senior school.

Her best friend has recently got a baby brother, he's 6 months old and already has his left ear pierced. Makes me shudder.

BrianAndHisBalls · 09/07/2011 17:09

Me too LtEve. Weirdly, no one (girl or boy) has them done in my dd's class.

nevermindthegap · 09/07/2011 17:09

I had mine done at 7yrs olds after nagging my parents for years. My dd had has done before preschool. Everytime we passed claires she would throw a tantrum to have it done. I had explained how painful it would be but she was as stuborn as a teenager. Eventually I agreed and she was the happiest bunny.

My husbands culture pierce baby girls before they are 7days old, and baby boys are circumscised the same age. IMO if the child understands the process i.e it will hurt but they insist then I say do it.

BrianAndHisBalls · 09/07/2011 17:13

Nevermind - at least your DH's culture mutilates both genders eh? Hmm

Nanny0gg · 09/07/2011 17:15

"IMO if the child understands the process i.e it will hurt but they insist then I say do it."
If they insist then give in.

Um. No.

Heifer · 09/07/2011 17:22

I have told DD (7) that she can have hers pierced sometime in Secondary School. I haven't said exactly when, as I may still not like it when she is 12...

I am lucky that children are not allowed to wear earrings in her Infant or Junior school, they have to take them out during school time. The headteachers gets very touchy with the parents when their children come back after the 8 weeks school holiday and having only just had them done. They are told that they should have had them done at the beginning of the school holiday.. No excuses....

It certainly makes my life easier, as DD knows there is no real point in having them pierced yet if she can't wear them to school....

brodanbell · 09/07/2011 17:31

Got mine done aged 11 on the day I finished primary school. Mum asked if I wanted too...think I had been talking about it a lot but if I recall, never got much of a response. So it was a nice surprise, and the thinking behind it was if I had it done right at the start of the summer holidays I'd be through the 6 week period, so I could remove them for P.E. lessons when I started secondary in the September. At that age I found it easy to clean and take care of them. Remember having to go to my Grandma's though for the first time I took them out and put them back in - Mum didn't have pierced ears but Grandma did, so she was my teacher. My sister was given the same option but I recall she didn't fancy it and I think she waited until she was around 18 before getting hers done, she just wasn't bothered.

Not keen on seeing it on kids whose ages are still in single digits!

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