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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ear Piercing - What age is ok?

167 replies

WannabeNigella · 09/07/2011 12:31

My friend is letting her DD have her ears pierced for her 5th birthday. I know it is none of my business but I wanted to plead with her not to.

My DD is just 3 and there is no way she will be having ears pierced till at least 12 or 13 the way I feel about it at the moment, preferably 16!

AIBU? What is an acceptable age? I just think that it looks so chavvy when they are young and it's so unnecessary too.

OP posts:
hellymelly · 09/07/2011 13:11

My Mum made me wait until I was 16, I'm quite glad she did as a)it hurt like hell, rather mean to inflict that on a five year old, and b)I was old enough to take care of my ears and avoid infection.

MadYoungCatLady · 09/07/2011 13:12

I have seen a lot of gorgeous Indian/Asian etc (trying so hard to be PC!) girls with pierced ears - it seems to be the norm in their culture?

I think times have changed a lot since I was little, and everyone I knew had pierced ears (maybe just the children I went to school with!) but then to be honest we lived in a very multi-cultural area when I was young so to me it was normal. Things are very different where I live now, I don't think I have seen a single small child with pierced ears. I recently saw a photo of an old friends baby, I mean like 3 months, with little gold studs - and hand on heart I reacted like a total snob and thought it looked 'chavvy'.

But then younger children do not seem to notice having them pierced, and it is no way near as horrific and I would imagine a 10 year old would see it as? I had my belly button pierced at 15 (thankfully its closed now) and passed out. At that point in time I was very, very glad I had my ears done when I was young!

MorelliOrRanger · 09/07/2011 13:13

I think about 10 or 11 - I had mine done around that age and then a second lot when 13 and a 3rd lot at 16. Now being an old back reverted back to one lot [hsmile]

I hate it on babies too - anything under about 5-6 looks a tacky IMO. [hsmile]

Liking the new smilies [hwink]

MorelliOrRanger · 09/07/2011 13:14

now being an old bag*

Original poster
WannabeNigella · 09/07/2011 13:27

MadYoungCatLady - No she isn't.

I'm glad I'm not being totally unreasonable. Like I said, I'm aware it's a personal choice I just don't get why you would do it. I hate seeing little girls with earrings in.

OP posts:
CBear6 · 09/07/2011 13:49

My mum got mine done when I was a toddler and one of my earliest memories I have is of crying my eyes out after the first ear being done with my hands clamped over my ears, refusing to let the person in the shop do the other ear. I was then pinned down by one assistant while the other did the other ear. I asked my mum about it, I even described the shop and that the piercing bit was up some wooden stairs, and she told me I was right, and was amazed I remember it so clearly - part of her getting them done so young was her belief that it wouldn't hurt and I wouldn't remember it if it did.

One of my other early memories? My mum and my aunt pinning me down a few weeks later so they could remove the "cute little studs". I was refusing to let anyone turn them without running away and howling, I wouldn't sleep properly with them in (and they weren't supposed to be removed for the first six weeks), and my brother kept trying to rip them out. The holes had closed up around the earrings so they had to come out.

I eventually got them redone when I was ten, after begging and begging my mum to let me do it because all of my friends were. It bloody hurt and they throbbed for a few days but they didn't close up this time and I was able to look after them myself. I never really bother with earrings these days but the holes are still there if I ever do want to wear them.

I wouldn't ever get a baby or toddler done, aside from thinking it looks vile I know from experience that it does hurt them and they can remember it. If they were supposed to have holes in their ear lobes they'd be born with them. I think old enough is 10 or 11, when they're old enough to ask for themselves and to understand what it involves, they're also old enough at that age to take responsibility for turning/cleaning them although if my 10/11 asked I'd probably put them off for a few more years.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/07/2011 13:51

Oooh goody, a polarising thread.
FWIW, DD had hers done when she was six IIRC, at her request.

FannyFifer · 09/07/2011 13:56

I got mine done at 7 for making my communion.
When DD starts hounding me about it she can get them done, have no strong feelings about it to be honest.
Dong like seeing babies with their ears pierced but accept it's a cultural thing in some cases.

BigHairyGruffalo · 09/07/2011 14:01

I see it as being very similar to make-up. If they're too young for make-up, they're too young to be pierced. I personally think that 12/13 is the very youngest I would allow.

BullieMama · 09/07/2011 14:04

I had to wait until I was 12 - back in the 80's and I remember how embarassed I was at having to wait until I was 'so old' so I promised myself that my daughter coud have hers done before that age. I felt that crossing into the Juniors was a suitable transistion for her to understand the implications.

As it was she had them done last Christmas at the age of 7 and a half, she took care of them, turning them every night and would get the lotion and give to myself or DH to put on every night as she was aware that she had to take good care of them.

Personally I think it depends on the type of child you have - some are mature enough to understand the importance of looking after the piercings whilst others are not. Under 5 should be illegal imo Grin

As for having something to look forward to when she reaches 12ish - that is the threshold for dangly earrings - she is absolutely banned from them until she gets to the comp [ grin]

BertieBotts · 09/07/2011 14:05

They have to be old enough to properly consent and understand that it will hurt and still want it done, IMO. 8 would probably be my lower limit, though it's unlikely to come up as I don't have a DD.

I've never had mine pierced, mainly because my mum told me this horror story of how she had hers done in a little booth in a shop window and jumped a mile when they did each ear and people stood around outside laughing at her Shock but now I have short hair I'd quite like to. I'm a bit nervous about it hurting though! I can just about cope with blood tests, how does it factor in relation to that?

Fifis25StottieCakes · 09/07/2011 14:08

I had dd1 and 2's ears piereced at 6 and 7. Due to the faff of having to remove for p.e etc i had dd3's done at 2.5. Big mistake. She banged it on the trampoline and had to have in surgically removed under anistetic.

I had mine done a 1, 2nd lot at 14.

After seeing what dd3 went through i am now against it unless they are old enough to be able to make the decision for themselves.

lovinme · 09/07/2011 14:15

My mum had mine done when I was 5 days old,I had my 3 DD done at 6mths old and I only waited that long because I couldn't get it done sooner and no I am not a chav.

Muckyhighchair · 09/07/2011 14:19

After seening ones ripped out from a little girls ear (18months) at nursery. Was picking my ds up and she got a toy car caught in the hoop and another child tugged it free. Ripping her lope clean in half! Tons of blood too. She couldnt stop crying. It left her with a misshapened lope too.

Cbear6
I had a similar exp too. Had them done too young, scared me so much. And then having to have them redone later on because i wouldnt let anyone touch my ears.

So about 10-12 depending on how the girl is

tallulahxhunny · 09/07/2011 14:20

I had my two kids ears done at 7 months old, I think its better done earlier as i could look after them properly without waiting until they were old enough to have dirty fingers and fiddle with them.

worraliberty · 09/07/2011 14:20

I have seen a lot of gorgeous Indian/Asian etc (trying so hard to be PC!) girls with pierced ears - it seems to be the norm in their culture?

And surely they'd be just as 'gorgeous' without having holes put in their ears and decorations hung from them?

tallulahxhunny · 09/07/2011 14:21

ooh should say i dont approve of hoops mine have studs

forehead · 09/07/2011 14:30

My dd's had their ears pierced at 2 and 3 weeks (my dh is Spanish and that is the norm). I personally had no problems with this and think they look cute
I hear that this is also the norm in some African and Soth American countries

emmanumber3 · 09/07/2011 14:32

I think secondary school age personally. I had the 1st lot done at 13 & the 2nd lot at 14. The earliest I would allow (I think) would be the summer holidays prior to secondary school starting.

shemademedoit · 09/07/2011 14:32

It's something I'd consider, but my DD isn't interested (she's 11) Any views out there on using a gun at a jewellery shop? And done by hand at a piercing/tattoo place? Fx

sillybillies · 09/07/2011 14:58

I had mine done as I went up to secondary school so aged about 11 and it will be the same rule for my DD's if they want their ear's done.

brighthair · 09/07/2011 14:59

They should be done with a needle, not a gun. A gun can't be completely sterilised and tears the skin rather than creating a clean hole. Personally I found the needle less painful as well. If you google ear piercing guns you can find loads about them, piercers despise them

monkeyslut · 09/07/2011 15:48

brighthair is noble and wise

Piercing guns should be banned.

brighthair · 09/07/2011 15:55

I think Ireland has banned them, they also pierce with bars - so each bar has 2 balls on, not a butterfly fastening. Much better as it's less likely to dig into ear and easier to clean

tinker316 · 09/07/2011 15:59

My mum go my ears pierced when I was about 3 years old!!
I will not let my DD get hers done til she is at least 12 years old.

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