To be getting married in secret.

[thebird]

DP and I have been together for 10 years and have 2 DCs. We have always wanted to get married but for various reasons (mainly money) we have not. We have decided now the time is right and we are getting married while on holiday in a few weeks with just us and the DCs.

We haven't told anyone for fear it will turn into a circus with family and friends wanting to join us. DPs parents are divorced and dont speak so that would be really awkward and my parents live abroad and it would be a huge expense for them to join us.

Just wanted some advice from anyone out there who has done the same.

I got married on the quiet. It was wonderful and stress free. More about making our wedding commitments and less about making a show. Imagine the sort of quiet simple wedding people had years and years ago - thats what i aspired to. The thought of spending 20k on a wedding seems crazy.

PS. Both sides of our families had had lots of huge white weddings. It was quite refreshing to buck the trend

Good luck and i think its a great idea

I iwouldnt mind in the least if my kids got married and sent us a postcard saying "guess what we did"

I have always said its not the wedding but the marriage that counts

Aww - do it!

If I ever get married this is how I will do it. I may invite close friends and family to a picnic / bbq to reveal it but it would be low key.

I wouldn't tell anyone before I went either. I'd love keeping it a secret between us until it was done.

Congratulations!

YANBU!

I would not be bothered at all if one of my own children did this. It's their life and their marriage and if that's what they wanted then I am happy for them and wish them all the best.

Those that mind, don't matter - those that matter don't mind!

Have a fantastic day with your boys. Just a tip, when it comes to weddings, you can't please anyone! So why not please yourselves!

Oh wow, congratulations!!!!!

Seriously if I'd had my way, I'd have hitched on a plane to Vegas and got married by a singing Elvis.

Go for it but definitely don't tell anyone as others have said as tjheres bound to be someone who thinks you have told them so they can fly out and surprise you out there.

My uncle got married in a very quiet registry office with just immediate family there and a family lunch afterwards. In the evening they had a summer party to which they invited friends and didn't actually announce it until they brought out the cake after the puddings had been brought out. There were even a couple of jokes about how it was a very White wedding looking cake :o. But it was a lovely party and the shock and delight was lovely to see on all the guests faces plus there was no need for anyone to bring presents.

There was also a chap that worked for my dad that asked if he could have the afternoon off one day but then just came back a bit late and instead asked for a long lunch the next day. Turns out he'd gone to get married on his lunch break but the registrar was ill so they had to go back the next day. And he went back to work after getting married! They only found out a few days later.

And many congratulations too, hope you all have a fantastic family wedding day and holiday!

My parents did this. They did ring their mothers that morning, so that they had time to attend the service and have a meal afterwards, but there were no brothers or sisters or cousins, and my grannies didn't have time to make a fuss about the details. I remember Granny D telling me that although she'd been a bit annoyed at the time, she thought in retrospect it had been brilliant! And my mother always said she preferred the house-stuff she bought with the money her mother had set aside for a wedding dress - as of course they missed out on wedding presents. They had 45 very happy years together before my father died last year.