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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my Hen night is about me not my bridesmaid?

31 replies

textpest · 07/07/2011 17:17

I am getting married in August and have organised my hen do for in a couple of weeks - just dinner and drinks at a local restaurant - and invited friends from work, uni and a couple of old friends. It is booked for 8pm on a Saturday. My bridesmaid has insisted the booking is changed to 7.30 (as this is when she usually eats) and it "isn't a late night" as she is out the nexy day.

Am I BU to leave it as it is? I don't want to be tucked up in bed by 10pm on what is, symbolically, my last night of freedom. Also neither of us have children plus I know her husband will beout with my DP until at least 2am and suspect she just wants to nag him into going home as early as possible. Others girls are all fine with the time including one PG and one with 4 DC under 6

OP posts:

myBOYSareBONKERS · 07/07/2011 17:20

URNBU. Leave it at 8pm. It will be a pain having to let everyone know the new time.

Also those with children may not be able to get there earlier as they will be putting the children to bed and getting themselves ready.

Is she always so demanding?

aseriouslyblondemoment · 07/07/2011 17:20

YANBU
she sounds a right royal pita

KnitterNotTwitter · 07/07/2011 17:21

It's your hen do - if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come.... And more to the point she can leave at 10 if she wants and you can stay on partying with the other party people...

Amazed that she even asked to be honest

YANBU

working2gally · 07/07/2011 17:22

yeah of course she's BU. Have you considered she may just be jealous of all the attention you are getting getting married? One of my close friends did this to me -pissed around with my hen night - first coming, then not, then coming but arrived late and left early. just wanted attention methinks. Also was similar with birth of my dc - kept sending me very needy "sad about being single" emails just before my big day.
I'd advise just ignoring her, leave time as it is and tell her she can leave early if needs be.

WineAndPizza · 07/07/2011 17:23

Of course YANBU. What difference can half an hour make anyway? Ridiculous. Leave it as it is, it's your night.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 07/07/2011 17:23

Ofcourse YANBU! It's a night in honour of you not her. If she doesn't want a late night she can go home whenever she wants surely, and the rest of you can stay out as long as you like.

Is there really that much difference between 7.30 and 8 anyway?

create · 07/07/2011 17:46

She never goes out for dinner unless it's 7:30?

And it's up to her when she leaves

What time will food be served at the wedding?

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 07/07/2011 17:48

Leave it where it is, but book her a taxi for 9:30

smileyfacestar · 07/07/2011 17:48

No YANBU she sounds like a pain in the arse. I am in the process of organising a hen do (i am bridesmaid) and everyone will have to fit in with the bride, no question.

create · 07/07/2011 17:50

Actually, just thought is she normally like this, or could there be a good reason why she needs to eat at the allotted time and get home early? (am assuming you generally get on well, as she's your bridesmaid?) Even so, I'd take a handful of nuts or similar with me to bridge the gap between 7:30 & 8.

FakePlasticTrees · 07/07/2011 17:55

Dear lord, I hope you have someone else to rely on in case something goes wrong on your wedding day, diva bridesmaids are generally useless if you need help.

Leave it as it is, tell her it suits you and the majority of your guests, as someone will a little DC I would struggle to get him to bed and be out again for a 7:30pm start. Let her leave when she wants.

skybluepearl · 07/07/2011 17:56

8 is a much better time for mums with kids

Dozer · 07/07/2011 18:03

I really, really hate hen dos and all that "it's all about the bride" crap, and opened this thread prepared to say YABU, but I find I cannot, YANBU and your friend is being an arse.

lauzb · 07/07/2011 18:35

You know that YANBU! Is she going to be this demanding at the wedding itself? I'd be demoting her to guest rather than bridesmaid if so

pigletmania · 07/07/2011 18:38

YANBU leave it as it is! What a cheek if she is tired there is the option of her leaving early, why should you all have to cut short your night because of her.

eurochick · 07/07/2011 18:51

YANBU. She is an idiot.

M0naLisa · 07/07/2011 19:02

no you are not BU.

its your night not hers.

muminthecity · 07/07/2011 19:14

YANBU. Leave the booking as it is but tell her you have changed it to 7.30. Let her sit there on her own for half an hour waiting for everyone else, and make sure when you get there you take as long as possible to order your drinks, peruse the menu, and ask the waiter about the specials in great detail. Take at least an hour to eat your starter.

MorelliOrRanger · 07/07/2011 19:15

Tell her that she has to eat at 8 like everyone else and she can leave when she likes, your do, your choice.

Be glad you arranged it and not her :)

Hullygully · 07/07/2011 19:17

Really?

Wow.

sack her.

tribpot · 07/07/2011 19:19

Is she like a Gremlin where if she eats after a certain time she turns into a demonic flying creature? I dare say your guests would pay money to see that.

Otherwise it's the most ridiculously precious behaviour at someone else's hen party I have ever heard of. Methinks someone might have bridal envy?

MerylStrop · 07/07/2011 19:22

she is being a party pooper
i woudl ask her if something is the matter?
your hen do sounds very lowkey and civilised and UNDEMANDING and if she wants to miss out by going home early that's her look out

Jacksmania · 07/07/2011 19:23

She could show up early and order food by herself... :o

Seriously... do you have a back-up bridesmaid?
My bridesmaid decided, two days before the wedding, that she wasn't having her hair and make-up done at the salon we'd booked for me, her and my mum. Because she could apparently do a better job herself and wouldn't like how they'd make her look. Two days before. Paid for and everything.
If she's that precious now, get back-up.

Inertia · 07/07/2011 19:24

If she has diabetes or other medical condition which requires a rigid meal timetable then it would be reasonable to ask. If not, she's just being a PITA.

Original poster

textpest · 08/07/2011 15:15

I didn't think I was but just wanted to check. She has no health issues - her husband does but it fitting in with the boys on the stag do - she is a bit of an attention seeker and has got worse recently as her hubby does pander to her.

Tribpot I really hope she turns in to a flying creature!! I would love to see the expression on my future MiL's face!!!!!

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