AIBU to be upset and a little bit angry?

[MummyTigger]

I was measuring 39cm fundal height at 36 weeks. Cue my midwife referring me for a growth scan and to a consultant. Baby measured at 41 weeks in abdomen and almost 38 in head and leg. Weight is estimated at 7lb 6oz. I see the consultant the next day, and she barely glances at my notes, declares everything to be within norms, tells me that the baby isn't likely to grow any more, makes me wait 20 minutes to "update the system" and the sends me on my merry way.

BUT WAIT!!

I'm 38+3 today. Midwife measures my fundal height again. I'm about 45cm. She frowns and reads through the notes left by the consultant, and then tells me that, no, this woman isn't even a consultant, she's a registrar. My fundal height was NOT within norms, the baby is DEFINITELY bigger, and can put on half a pound per week in the last month, and she shouldn't have just dismissed me.

I now have ANOTHER appointment with a DIFFERENT consultant tomorrow, and he has to decide whether or not I can even deliver in the centre I wanted. If I can't, I'll be completely gutted. My hospital is not equipped with a birthing pool, and a home delivery is out of the question, so AIBU to be upset that I probably won't have the birth I was looking forward to, and AIBU to feel a little bit lied to and shunned by this woman who genuinly didn't seem to give a shit?

Sorry, I'm actually a lot more upset about this than I thought I was. I'm so gutted. AIBU?!

I think i would complain about the bogus consultant and im sorry you wont have the birth you wanted but surely your baby having a safe delivery would be more important?

I know, and to be honest it's just that it's a bit of a shock. Last week wverything was awesome and on track. Today it just feels like everything has derailed a little. Everything has gone so well up til now, so I'm just a bit gutted. Kind of like running a marathon and then collapsing just before the end... Y'know?

To be honest fundal height isn't that accurate. I was measuring 8cm small by the time dd2 was born, weighing nearly 7lb. Otoh my sister was measuring well over (think similar to you, but can't remember) and her baby was over a lb smaller.
I had a scan with dd2 and was already under consultant care (for other reasons), but it didn't need a consultant to measure the baby's limbs and say she was a normal size.
I agree with tallulah.

YANBU to be upset and angry, you are a very pregnant person and it's hot and someone has treated you badly. Any one of those is excuse enough to be cross.

But even if the not-consultant had got it right and told you two weeks ago that your baby was big for dates, would anything be any different now? I doubt they would have induced you two weeks ago, expect they'd have left things to progress by themselves, so you'd be in the same situation, just with a bit more notice.

YANBU to be upset you're not being offered the birth you want, but until the consultant has ruled out what you want, then don't discount it. In fact even if the consultant says no, it doesn't always mean it's a no. Growth scans in late pregnancy can be very unreliable and I thought they'd stopped measuring fundal height ages ago (I wasn't measured for the last 2 pregnancies and they're now 6 and 3!)

I think it's not advisable to decide exactly what kind of birth you'd like, as you can simply be setting yourself up to be disappointed. There are so many things that can happen/not happen when you're giving birth and you can't pre-plan. FWIW, I gave birth to all my three DCs in hospital, no birthing pool, but very nice, attentive midwives who couldn't do enough for me and DH.

I remember being told I had pre-eclampsia and taking my birth plan out of my bag, screwing it up and throwing it in the bin at the hospital.

It's horrible, it really is, to have your hopes dashed. I can appreciate your being upset.

But you WILL be looked after by your midwives.

Complain about the registrar, though. Sounds a bit toxic tbh.

That's true... There is still hope :-D and are they really that inaccurate?! I'm just gonna try and nog completely flip over this haha - I've been hormonal as heck for the last week, so that probably hasn't helped.

Thanks all. I feel a lot better now I've had a cry and a whinge to you all!!

And I don't think I have to complain about the registrar - my midwife was fuming. So I'd guess that she's going to hear about it from MW!!

Sorry you've had a bad experience today MummyTigger, but can I just say (in case anyone sees one and is worried) a registrar is not a bogus consultant, he/she is a high ranked senior doctor with a specialty, usually second only to the consultant.

The Consultant can't order you to give birth in the hospital. They can just tell you the risks and you can make your own choice as to where to have the baby.

I was told that my baby was going to be "big for me".

Was already prepared for a csection due to placenta praevia.

However placenta moved & I had a VD-baby was actually low birthweight!