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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell dh to stfu about how much washing up there is

18 replies

biddysmama · 07/07/2011 14:21

i stay at home with 27 month old and 10 month old,(plus 9 year old ds is at school) he works 7-4.30 but comes home for his dinner 1-1.30, the routine is that he comes home, i make tea,we eat tea then he baths the babies and i dry and dress them and settle them (both are bf before bed )down while he does the washing up

every bloody night he goes on about how many pans/plates/cutlery ive used during the day

aibu to tell him to stfu or do the cooking himself? or am i asking too much by not doing it during the day? he was talking about disposible stuff last night Hmm

OP posts:
Georgimama · 07/07/2011 14:24

You don't do any washing up at all, all day? Doesn't that make stuff sort of crusty?

TBH I absolutely agree that he should be sharing the chores but I don't see why you can't wash up the breakfast and lunch things as you go and he washes up the dinner stuff. I would be pretty pissy if I came home to a full day's dirty dishes every day too.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/07/2011 14:24

You need a dishwasher - neither of you are unreasonable.

From his perspective to come home and wash up every night must be so boring and wearing.

Dh and I took it in turns til we got a dishwasher - we both hated washing up.

oohjarWhatsit · 07/07/2011 14:27

yes you are being unreasonable not to wash up during the day, there is no excuse for it, it takes a few minutes if you keep on top of it

WhoAteMySnickers · 07/07/2011 14:28

YABU. He's working all day and sharing the chores when he gets home. I'd be pissed off if I came home to a pile of dirty dishes every day too. Why don't you do them during the day as you use them?

Original poster
biddysmama · 07/07/2011 14:28

i give it a rinse or wash it if i get chance usually when one of the little ones is arsing about with eating their dinner slowly

OP posts:
oohjarWhatsit · 07/07/2011 14:29

in fact i would be bloody pissed off if i worked from 7 every morning and came home to find the person at home hadnt even bothered to wash the breakfast stuff up, let alone the lunch things, yet found time to faff around on the t'internet

charliejosh · 07/07/2011 14:30

YABU, I think you should run a boiling hot bowl of soapy water mid-day ish and everything you use can be popped in there throughout the afternoon, then by the time the water is cooled you can rinse them all off, voila

mousesma · 07/07/2011 14:31

Agree with the others it's fair enough that he washes up the dinner stuff if you cook but to not wash up the breakfast and lunch stuff as you go along is just lazy.

oldmum42 · 07/07/2011 14:33

DH and I hate washing dishes..... a Dishwasher was the first luxury item we got, never been without one since (20 years!). Fantastic things, and guilt free too as they (unlike many appliances), are a greener option than washing by hand. They use much less energy and chemicals, and save a huge amount of water as compared with hand washing.

And it gets rid of those "who's turn is it" arguments.

Treat yourself!

OracleInaCoracle · 07/07/2011 14:36

Georgimama Thu 07-Jul-11 14:24:48
You don't do any washing up at all, all day? Doesn't that make stuff sort of crusty?

TBH I absolutely agree that he should be sharing the chores but I don't see why you can't wash up the breakfast and lunch things as you go and he washes up the dinner stuff. I would be pretty pissy if I came home to a full day's dirty dishes every day too.

totally agree. we have never had a dishwasher, and Ive always managed to keep on top of the washing up. how can you not have time to wash up a few bits from breakfast and lunch? unless you are having a full fry up everyday, there cant be that much!

JarethTheGoblinKing · 07/07/2011 14:36

Presumably the 10mo sleeps during the day? Just spend 5 mins washing up once a day, then he can do whatever is left at the end of the day.

IDrinkFromTheirSkulls · 07/07/2011 14:36

This is why I insisted on a dishwasher as soon as we moved to a house big enough to fit one.

MerylStrop · 07/07/2011 14:43

just get a dishwasher. save up. it will make your marriage a happier place.

fwiw i can't stand a pile of dishes festering away all day. but neither do i want to wash up 3 times per day, and imo doing even the minimum amount of housework with a two year old and a toddler is a HARD.

Silverstar2 · 07/07/2011 14:43

I agree yabu - why would you leave stuff all day? Surely it just gets dried on making it harder to wash, and gets in the way? We don't have that much room in our kitchen to have half of it covered with dirty plates.

Don't think you need a dishwasher - I have never had one and don't particularly want one - but it only take a short time to wash up.

I'd be prety pissed off to I came home to washing up I had nothing do do with EVERY day.

Sorry.

Original poster
biddysmama · 07/07/2011 14:48

im on the computer with a baby on the boob, only chance i get Grin 10 month old sleeps for an hour ish if we are at home, longer if we are out and he is in the pram. i usually use that time to drink a warm brew go to the toilet alone tidy up the toys, put some washing in, spend one-to-one time with toddler scribbling on bit of paper or reading

thanks,i'll start doing the washing up :)

OP posts:
Georgimama · 07/07/2011 15:41

TBH even leaving the stuff to soak would be better than nothing.

niceguy2 · 07/07/2011 15:44

Stick stuff to soak then get the 9yr old to do some of the washing up when he returns from school as a chore.

mousymouse · 07/07/2011 15:46

yanbu, that is fair share of the work.
but do consider getting a dishwashwer, even a table top one makes things easier.

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