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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just strip their room leave a bed wardrobe and books only

33 replies

Shinyshoes1 · 06/07/2011 20:43

I am sick and tired of my 14 year old and 10 year old rooms.

They are vile, i've just been in there and I am horrified at the shit tip that it is. I'm fucking raging as i've just fallen over, just looking for a book.

There are used tissues, paper, books, pants, odd socks, peices of wood, can,, scrisp wrappers, broken bits of toys.

I just want to strip the room back to basics just leaving a bed, books and their wardrobe. Nothing else. Even ripping up the carpet as I have no idea what colour it should be.

I'm fuming Angry

There is not even sheets on their disgusting beds, DS1 has resorted to sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor as it's such a state he'd rather do that than actually do something about his bed or room.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 06/07/2011 20:45

I used to tidy it weekly, it still became a tip.

I just shut the door only going in there to hang up ironing . It was worse still

I have taken away all priveledges and treats, again nothing

DS2 has gone to bed at 4.00pm to sleep on many occasion rather than tidy it up

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 06/07/2011 20:46

I would do that. Infact I have.

There was a thread recently about someone who stripped everything out of her DDs room including laptop and hair straighteners (the straighteners being the BIG issue iirc!) and the DD had to earn the back by keeping the room in an appropriate state and also showering every day as personal hygiene was also an issue.

I am sure a more seasoned MNer will be able to find it, as it was a biggie!

But the point is, it worked! After the initial meltdown, the DD was showering daily in exchange for the use of her straighteners and was earning back her other possesions too.

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 06/07/2011 20:46

I just want to go back to basics, am I being rotten

OP posts:
TartyMcFarty · 06/07/2011 20:47

Um, as their parent, isn't it part of your job description to help them keep on top of it? I'm not suggesting you should be their housemaid, but I wouldn't expect kids to be changing the bedding and registering that the carpet needs vacuuming.

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 06/07/2011 20:48

sounds exactly what I need to do as like you said personal hygeine is a factor.

Mine think they will melt if they even look at soap.

I was so enraged the other day I actually SCRUBBED ds2 as I was sick of him looking filthy

OP posts:
TartyMcFarty · 06/07/2011 20:48

I know that's a really naive post by the way, and I'll look back on it like this Hmm

AgentZigzag · 06/07/2011 20:48

We did it when DD1 was 4 YO Grin

It worked, but aren't older DCs bedrooms supposed to be shit holes?

She's like Pig Pen, honestly, she is.

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 06/07/2011 20:48

DP changes their bedding as I can't bring myself to go in there

OP posts:
hellospoon · 06/07/2011 20:49

Strip it. Bed and a wardrobe. They obviously want to be babies so treat them like it.

No privileges for 2 weeks either. And if they still don't learn every time it is a shithole bin everything and ground for a week.

What is their general hygiene like?

This is something I will be very strict on when dd is older, it teaches them a good lesson for when they leave home.

hellospoon · 06/07/2011 20:49

Strip it. Bed and a wardrobe. They obviously want to be babies so treat them like it.

No privileges for 2 weeks either. And if they still don't learn every time it is a shithole bin everything and ground for a week.

What is their general hygiene like?

This is something I will be very strict on when dd is older, it teaches them a good lesson for when they leave home.

whackamole · 06/07/2011 20:50

Really Tarty? They might not register it but if mum says 'right, today I want you to change your beds and hoover', then it should be done? I'm not saying it's not normal for a 14 year old but it is pretty gross to be so unbothered about a disgusting bed to be sleeping on the floor!

AgentZigzag · 06/07/2011 20:51

I would expect to direct their cleaning with a younger child tarty, but at 10 they fucking know what needs doing Grin

Of course they'll play on the 'woe is me'/'how did I become this womans servant?', but you just ignore it and tell them to get on.

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 06/07/2011 20:51

Hellospoon Thanks I needed reassurance I'm not being an asshole of a mum.
Their personal hygeine is terrible

I don't go with the 'isn't dc's room meant to be a shithole.'

Mine wasn't a s a child, I kept myself and my room clean

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 06/07/2011 20:51

Link to the thread I mentioned!

whackamole · 06/07/2011 20:51

Fuck sake, takes me so long to post anything due to half the keys missing on this bloody laptop, I've x-posted with about 8 people!

TartyMcFarty · 06/07/2011 20:52

I agree whackamole, but in the OP itself it sounds like OP is expecting them to just do this stuff of their own accord, which strikes me as BU. The later posts suggest otherwise, but still wouldn't be expecting kids to change their bedding.

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 06/07/2011 20:53

Thanks Bogeyface I will have a read Smile

OP posts:
elegangle · 06/07/2011 20:54

That was me as a teenager. However, if I needed to find something I always knew exactly where in the tip it was. My mum would go nuts at me and I'ld dutifully tidy up but in tidying up I would never be able to find things again, thus taking longer to do homework etc.
My mum eventually gave up nagging me and eventually I grew out of the 'messy' stage. Not sure what to advise but if my mum had stripped everything out of the room I would have completly lost the plot, possibly have even disapeared for a few days. Not saying that that might happen with you but just that that was 'me' as a teenager.

AgentZigzag · 06/07/2011 20:55

hehe I wasn't saying I allow DD1s bedroom to be a shit hole shineyshoes, but she tidies it up after school and by bedtime it's messy again.

DD goes in the room = messy

I don't accept it or tidy it, but it just seems a foregone conclusion of her using it.

FabbyChic · 06/07/2011 20:59

I cleaned my kids rooms daily and worked full time, I was and still am a single parent, if you do it daily it never gets messy, my kids never had any food in their room though, one is extremely neat the other messy, but not to the extent you talk about.

Kids should be kids, they grow up when they become 18 but that's just my take on it.

Takes five mins a day to do a kids room and make their beds, you make it sound like an arduous task, it is because you do it weekly.

Tchootnika · 06/07/2011 20:59

As per Bogeyface - excellent and effective to remove 'offending' items, let them 'earn' them back. (Keep us posted, though... and prepare for them not even noticing that their beloved things have gone missing... Shock Grin )

usualsuspect · 06/07/2011 21:01

YABU

Just shut the door

Hatesponge · 06/07/2011 21:07

YANBU.

I have said something similar to my DSs this evening - they are 10 and 12. In fact what I actually said was that I would leave them with nothing but a mattress on the floor if they can't keep their rooms tidy Blush

I spent several hours at the weekend with them having a proper tidy and clean of their rooms. Sunday evening both were spotless and neat. DS2 now has books and games all over the floor, piles of clothes everywhere, and DS1's room is a shit tip, school bag emptied on the floor, clothes in a heap, crumbs on every surface.

I think I am a bit hyper-aware of it as my Ex was a lazy sod and considered cleaning/housework was 'women's work' and refused to lift a finger when we lived together, I just don't want the boys thinking that's an acceptable way to behave, esp as DS1 has referred in the past to cleaning as being my job Hmm.

I've just been up to check and they have tidied, sort of. But the crumbs are still there Angry. possibly i'm too demanding.....

reelingintheyears · 06/07/2011 21:08

I gave up stressing about DC rooms years ago.

The only thing that pisses me off is finding obviously clean and folded washing in the wash basket when it's just been scooped up off the floor where they can't be bothered to put it in drawers.
I put it back in their room(s).

Then shut the door again now.

reelingintheyears · 06/07/2011 21:10

Untidy is different from dirty....

If you had a good clean on Sunday surely another in a few months time won't hurt.Grin