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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to send my DD to Nursery again

14 replies

alfiesmadmother · 05/07/2011 12:28

...she is 4.8 and due to start school in September.

Every morning it is a struggle to get her there, she desperately doesn't want to go. It is the disruption of new starters visiting, school visits, getting ready for school etc.

SHe has 3 weeks left of Nursery. I don't know what would be best to do for her...

OP posts:
reallytired · 05/07/2011 12:30

Nursery is not complusory at 4.8 so its up to you.

Proper school will be a different matter.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 05/07/2011 12:31

You could point out that she may have some nice things coming up, check with the nursery to see if they have a leavers party or anything similar but if she doesn't want to go and doesn't have to just keep her off. Make sure she realises that she can't do that at school though.

MrsVidic · 05/07/2011 12:38

what would you do it shes the same when she starts school?
Are you stopping her because of her distress or yours?
Completley your decision but I would be inclined to keep her there (yet I dont know how distressed she is getting) so she knows school is not optional etc

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 05/07/2011 12:52

Rather than the getting her there how is she when she comes out?

If she is fine and has a good time I think it's important that you continue. As what happens in september when she has to go to school better to learn now that creating a fuss does not alter the course of the day.

OTOH if she is not happy at the end of the day rather than taking her out I think you need to talk to the nursery workers and find out what is going on. If she will be pmoving to school with this group of children you need to work out what's upsetting her preferably before she gets there.

Either way I think taking her out now is a bit of a cop out on your part for an easier life and not necessarily in the best (longer term) interests of your daughter.

MovingAndScared · 05/07/2011 13:11

she was happy before this I take it, and agree it does depend on whether she is unhappy afterwards - if this the case its about dealing with

maybe and this maybe a cop out but you could say if you go everyday this week - on friday you don't have to go and we could have a special mum and DD day and plan something nice to do

Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 05/07/2011 13:17

SHe has been happy right up to the past few weeks. She's had a couple of days visiting school and the strike day then teacher training day off so there has been a lot of disruption. All the young starters who are a lot younger (just 3) She just says she doesn't want to go to Nursery just to school now.

Nothing to do with my distress, I am certainly more distressed thinking about what to do with her all day when she is off. And certainly not a cop out, my mornings are so much easier when she is not with me.

WHen I pick her up she just says why did you take me to Nursery I told you I didn't want to go!!

OP posts:
ragged · 05/07/2011 13:23

I wouldn't bother, OP. If you're happy not to. Just make sure she doesn't miss any induction sessions.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 05/07/2011 13:49

I would make her go purely because she is so near going to school...if she knows you are letting her off nursery maybe she will hope to do the same when she is at school.

She needs to know she has to go and that is that...if she was younger I would say keep her at home but as she is so near school age, and if she is 4.8 then she is gonna be one of the older ones.

Callisto · 05/07/2011 13:52

Just take her out. My DD didn't go to nursery or a childminder ever - I looked after her completely until she went to school. And she was one of the children that settled in very quickly and without fuss, so don't believe the 'training for school' hype.

BimboNo5 · 05/07/2011 13:54

Its fine but will it not give her the idea she can tell you she doesn't want to go to school either?

Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 05/07/2011 13:55

SOrry I do have to agree with Callisto that Nursery and School are completely different entities. I have 3 other children at school, she is desperate to get there. nShe is secure, she just doesn't WANT to go. SHe breezed into the school visits.

On the one hand I need the peace for a couple of hours a day, on the other hand she doesn't want to go and we could do some exciting and educational stuff together

OP posts:
towardsZero · 05/07/2011 13:57

My DD did this - I had a new baby as well so let her off most of the last weeks.

She was fine starting school very excited - when the excitement wore off by half term and the tiredness kicked in she tried not going was told she had no choice - had few days with spectacular tantrums but she still went and it soon past - and now nearly two year later wants to go in even when ill.

Some of the other DC who hadn't missed Nursery days played up as well about going around same time - think it was just tiredness and some who had been always fine about Nursery kept up playing up including at least one case of screaming fits every day for large parts of the first year.

So overall I do not regret the extra time with DD.

breatheslowly · 05/07/2011 14:13

It sounds like she has outgrown nursery. She will have a long summer break, so there isn't much continuity to be lost. I assume your other children don't have attendance issues and she hasn't seen any of them manipulating their way out of school. In which case, you might as well do what ever suits you and her. I would check that she isn't going to miss anything really exciting too.

Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 06/07/2011 08:05

Definitely no attendance issues, they all love school. I think I will have a word with the teacher this morning.

OP posts:
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