WWYD? Think dsis might be pregnant

[LolaRennt]

Just moved home 3 months ago after not seeing my sister for a couple years. Saw her in a biking right after we got here looked totally normal (she's normal weight but not super skinny).

Now, first thing. She is normally clothes obsessed, last 3 times I have seen her she has been in same comfy jersey dress (maybe clothes aren't fitting too well). Last month I thought I saw a bump and thought it must be in my head (due to just finding out I was pg) mentioned it to DH who said "no, I noticed it too".

Saw her yesterday for a family thing and "bump" was definitly bigger, dh said "bigger rounder and firmer". If I were to guess I'd say 4- 5 months.

Now if my sister was pregnant, I can guarentee she doesn't know it, as spent yesterday drinking and chain smoking, (since coming back I've noticed she drinks quite a lot actually). This is one of the problems I have, the "baby" could be a beer belly, she is only gaining weight in her stomach.

Also my sister loves attention if she were pregnant she would definitly tell people, I think she would prefer to be married first as well.

My sister is only 24 and only been with her bf for 2 years so I wouldn't think she would be doing IVF (which I know could also give you a belly like you're pregnant).

I'm really not sure what to do, we aren't actually that close now.. and she's the kind of person to be really offended and is quite looks concious. I couldn't mention it to someone else to mention because my family is quite bitchy and I don't want a nasty gossipy thing happening. But if she were to go in to labour in 4 months time with out having a clue of it I would feel pretty shit especially about the smoking and drinking.

Also we have a history of fertility issues in my family (irregular periods etc) and my sis when she was a teenager told me she didn't think she could get pregnant after having a few accidents and nothign happening. So the signs of pregnancy might not be apparent.

I have decided if in a month's time she is obviously bigger I will have to bite the bullet and have a word. Just not sure if I should do it earlier.

Well, I dunno, IDAMIAH, perhaps you could ask the health professionals that question ?

I noticed you mention it Farside, that's why I remembered the article.

thanks BS, and unfortunately, by the time abdominal distension is apparent, the cancer is usually well-advanced

it's not called the "silent killer" for nought

I'd never ask anyone if they were pregnant straight out. It's just rude. Firstly because if they are, then they have chosen not to tell you and the only thing you're doing by forcing the issue is making them seriously uncomfortable. Secondly because if they aren't, you've just called them fat.

I'd be tempted to approach your sister in a roundabout way - maybe ask for doctor's recommendations, show her this sad article and mention that she'd probably not noticed anything apart from bloating... There are a million ways to sensitively bring this up without asking her straight up if she's pregnant or making her feel like she's a big fat blob.

I had a colleague some years back who to all intents and purposes gained weight and looked like she was pregnant (she was single in her forties, and not the sort of person who you could ask)

She was rushed to hospital when her ovarian cyst burst and it was very traumatic for her.

I think you should just ask her quietly if she is, saying, that you are worried that she may have some serious health issues if she says she isn't

Can you say you're asking because her boobs look bigger? That might be easier for her to hear then you could mention the tummy as more of an afterthought...

Read half the thread - you seem to be getting a bit of stick OP (up to where I reached). I can't see much wrong with your motives - you might not feel close to your sister but she is still your sister so I presume you still care. Therefore, if she is pg and doesn't know, why on earth wouldn't you want to prod her in the direction of finding out.
My aunt didn't know she was pg. She was working hard, had just had a long business trip, and noticed a bit of a tummy when she got home. She put it down to partying (sorry, networking) too hard while she was away, and dieted like crazy when she got home, while doing nothing much to curb alcohol intake. After a month of this she was round at my mum's and happened to mention that the diet didn't seem to be helping the beer belly she'd picked up while away. My mum suggested a test, and a scan a week later showed she was 5 months gone. The 'baby' is now in her mid-teens. So I think it's perfectly possible that she's noticed that she's changing shape but is putting it down to the wrong factors, as my aunt did.
I can't tell you how to approach her, but I do think it's worth considering ways of broaching it and testing her response. Asking whether she's planning a family, or something similarly neutral sounding, might give you ideas of how or whether you need to take it further.

Back to the fat/periods issue. Being overweight affects the hormone levels. I can't see why that can't continue into pregnancy.