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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it is just not necessary to have a dining table anymore?

725 replies

LDNmummy · 04/07/2011 13:24

Traditionally it has always been the look of a good home to have a dining table, preferably with its own area/ room in a house for family gatherings.

But, with modern life as it is, I just don't think it is necessary to have one anymore, unless of course you genuinely use it at least once a week. But do most families anymore?

I don't know many families who still go through the process of sitting around the dining table every weekend let alone every day, possibly for the fact that it is a little extra effort people are not as formal about anymore and sitting together doesn't have to be around a table but even just in the living room watching the telly together IYSWIM.

Plus, houses are not always big enough to accomodate a large family sized table and some may just feel it isnt worth the hassle to cram one in.

I also think this about the large cabinets that traditionally housed all a households fine dining wear that would come out on special occasions.

Aren't these bulky pieces of furniture that take up lots of space and are rarely used outdated now except with older people?

My MIL has a six seater table in the living room that could easily fit eight diners but is used properly about once a year. Half the reason for that is that it is too big and has to be crammed against a wall so isnt convenient to sit around daily or even weekly anyway. She also has a very large display cabinet full of her best dining wear wich is only used when special guests such as family travelling from abroad are visiting, which is rarely.

She is about 60 and in her eyes these two items of furniture are essential to beautify a home as well as for practical reasons, which IMO is questionable. My DM and all the older women in my family feel the same way.

But isnt this just all outdated and unecessary faff a house can do without in a time when people are no longer as formal when it comes to situations such as dining?

OP posts:
BengalCatMum · 04/09/2016 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LifeIsGoodish · 04/09/2016 12:08

Our table is so important to us that we took a long time choosing just the right one. I cannot imagine a home without a table to eat at, not even when I was single. Then, I had a small table in the kitchen for everyday, and a larger one tucked against the wall of the living room for when I had guests over.

Nothing wrong with TV meals, or sofa meals, or standing-up-at-the-kitchen-counter meals from time to time, but not as standard, and especially not when you have a family of any age.

Plus, of course, a table isn't just for eating at.

littlemissneela · 04/09/2016 12:09

We sit at our dining table pretty much everyday to eat dinner. We occasionally sit at the sofa and watch tv, but that would only be once or twice a week. We use dinner time for time to recconect as a family as the teens tend to spend most of their times in their rooms, and time for chats. We've had some really good discussions at the table, and I find if we eat less formally, then the kids tend to eat and run. I would love to have a dining room for more formal dinners (where I could lay the table, close the door, and not have our cats decorate the table with their hair) and have a less formal table in the kitchen for the majority of mealtimes. Maybe one day that will happen :)

strangespot · 04/09/2016 12:19

I hate the snobbery that comes with family time - which in some peoples eyes has to come from sitting round a table every single day eating.

Rubbish, you can talk and be a family at many other points in the day including sitting round on sofas eating.
I still manage to teach my dc good table manners, have conversations and all the rest. Also not everyone is a talker, carrying a convo on your own whilst trying to eat is not fun, neither - as a child was having to sit and listen to DF holding court for hours, talking at his captive audience, then, having to wait whilst he finally came round to eating his food. Not great.

We have a good mix here of sitting round table and also eating in front of the tv and it works for us - without this strange enforced old fashioned idea that every single meal must be sat facing each other or the fabric of our family will break and we wont be able to talk or eat properly any more Hmm

honeylulu · 04/09/2016 12:19

We eat all family meals at the table in the breakfast room (where there is a telly I admit) and whenever we have guests.Husband and I will often have evening meal on sofa in living room if it's just us.
However we also have a formal dining room with table, chairs and dresser with our posh crockery.We only eat in there on Christmas day and maybe once or twice during the year if we have a "posh" dinner party. I've begun to wonder if it wouldn't be better to get rid of the table and just use it as a second living room. It mainly gets used as a laundry drying room at the moment.

BummyMummy77 · 04/09/2016 12:22

We eat at our table every meal apart from maybe once a week where we'll watch tv with dinner.

What if people come over for dinner? Do you all eat on your laps?!

honeylulu · 04/09/2016 12:22

I'd also add that part of the reason for table dinners is practical. It's just less messy especially with children and "serve yourself" dinners like a roast etc.

Gowgirl · 04/09/2016 12:27

We eat all meals at the table no tv, no screens. Ds 9 does his homework at it ds 3 draws, paints and play dough at it, dh uses it as a desk when working from home and I sort my washing on it.
Its probally the most important piece of furniture I have!

Willywolly · 04/09/2016 12:28

We eat at our dining table maybe twice a year other than chistmas so I agree with you. But we have the room anyway and nothing else it could be used for haha.

Sallystyle · 04/09/2016 12:31

FFS, people are so eager to reply they can't even be arsed to read a few threads above them.

No one really gives a shit about your table anymore Grin

Sallystyle · 04/09/2016 12:32

replies, not threads!

strangespot · 04/09/2016 12:33

What if people come over for dinner? Do you all eat on your laps?!

^^ No.

We have a fold away dining tables thats lovely and we all eat at the table.

BTW our house is not big, no extra rooms for dining or room in kitchen for tables.

strangespot · 04/09/2016 12:34

YY its a zombie Blush

RepentAtLeisure · 04/09/2016 12:37

I have a tiny house with a reception room that some could reasonably call a box room, but we still squeezed in a table. It's the type you find outside brasserie coffee shops and you can fit four people around it at a push.

MumiTravels · 04/09/2016 12:39

Our house is too small for a dining table unfortunately and we really miss it.

The three of us cram round the breakfast bar on stools though which is still nice. We also sit here to do colouring etc.

If you ask my LO "are you hungry", he goes and stands by his stool ready for his meal.

Aeroflotgirl · 04/09/2016 12:46

Op it is sad that you and many others feel this way, my kids love it when we all eat round the table, they learn manners, we talk about our day and whatever. I prefer to eat off a table than my lap, I will end up spilling food everywhsre.

Dontyouopenthattrapdoor · 04/09/2016 12:49

Breakfast happens at the dining table every day here. Dinner at the table 4 or 5 times a week; if we're eating a "proper" meal all together in the evenings/ weekends and there are a couple of evenings a week when kids have a sandwich tea in front of the telly.
I love our table meals. We talk, we play silly games, I learn loads about what my kids are up to, we discuss issues- I'd never be without it and I grew up in a family where we all ate our tea on our laps every day. Plus we do craft, art, homework etc there.

Each to their own but my table is staying :)

sophiestew · 04/09/2016 12:52

I don't understand this at all.

We use our dining table every single day.

I can understand if you lived alone in a small one bedroom flat you might not want to take up all the available space with a dining table and chairs, but for normal, modern family living, yes, I think it's pretty much a necessity.

GrumpyOldBag · 04/09/2016 12:53

oh FFS. What happened to the automatic Zombie alert which usually comes up?

ChocolateWombat · 04/09/2016 12:57

I agree that it is possible for families to communicate and enjoy family time away from the kitchen/dining room table.

However, without a table, I think a variety of activities would be more tricky;

  • toddlers just out of high chairs learning to eat tidily
  • children engaging in drawing and craft which needs a reasonable amount of space
  • children doing early homework which usually needs doing near a parent and with enough space
  • and even those who eat on their laps, probably like to eat a meal round a table at Christmas or when they have friends over.

Realise lots of properties are small and space is very limited. Most could fit in a gate leg table that folds down when not in use.

I think it's definitely worth having if at all possible. Scrap the dresser or sideboard for serving dishes etc, but not a table.

AlcoChocs · 04/09/2016 12:57

Grin at those posters frothing about it being a zombie thread.
Why does it matter? Just leave people in peace to talk about their tables if they want to.

Natsku · 04/09/2016 12:58

Well zombie thread but I just want to say I love my big display cabinets and when we move to a bigger house I'm going to buy more of them! Also going to try and get my family back into the habit of sitting at the dining table to eat as we started like that but slipped into eating in front of the telly watching Simpsons every evening.

FreshHorizons · 04/09/2016 13:00

ZOMBIE THREAD

ZOMBIE THREAD

ZOMBIE THREAD

OP really couldn't care! She asked so long ago! She had replies 5 yrs ago!

SauvignonBlanche · 04/09/2016 13:01

Oh for fucks sake! Angry

I read lots of this shite before realising it's a ZOMBIE. Why would anyone resurrect something so boring? Confused

FreshHorizons · 04/09/2016 13:02

It irritates me Alcochocs . Why trawl back 5 yrs? -if you want to have a discussion about dining tables then just start a new thread- it is a lot easier than looking for an ancient one.