to think we in the UK have a bloody good life and we should stop bloody whinging?

[WriterofDreams]

This is a rant. Feel free to tell me IABU, as I am not going to be moderate in my views.

I know "what about the starving children in [insert poor country here]" is an endlessly annoying response to any complaint but it's been ringing in my head of late. I know people are struggling financially and being uncertain about the future is very worrying. But I do feel at times it would do us all good to stop and appreciate the huge privilege and good luck we have in living in this part of the world.

Something that will always stay with me is something my sister told me when she was working in Namibia. She had a spare notebook and pen so she gave it to a man who was about to study to be a teacher. He broke down in tears and she got a shock until she realised that this man could never have afforded to buy his own notebook and pen. He considered the gift hugely generous and had to be persuaded to accept it. A nun friend of mine also told me about children in Ethiopia who used to have their pens blessed by the priest in the hopes it would make them keep working. They had one pen to last the whole year and if it stopped working they might not be able to do their exams. Contrast this to my kids at school who would lose expensive handwriting pens left right and centre and expect a new one every time. We had to introduce a reward system to get them to look after them.

I wake up every day in a peaceful country in a dry warm house. I have running water, electricity, gas and a council that looks after the roads and collects the bins (as well as a lot of other things). If I need anything there are any number of shops I can go to where the shelves are constantly well stocked. My son will go to a clean well equipped school with highly trained teachers, for free, and get heaps of bloody handwriting pens, books, and photocopied worksheets. If I'm ill I can go to the doctor, for free, and be seen right away, given the correct medicine or sent to a state of the art hospital where I'll get great care, again for free. I don't have to worry that malaria or yellow fever will kill my family, or that war will tear my country apart.

On the whole I am one of the very very lucky ones.

D'you now what, OP, thank you. Panicking about Aug when my wage savagely cut, but you are right. I will still have roof, and food, maybe just not the treats have got used to. Won't do me any harm, maybe help me to prioritise.
Am v v lucky.

'know'

You're right but everyone will whinge anyway. It's not about the money you have in your pocket but nobody sees that. And everyone who hasn't got enough of someone else's money in their pocket is whinging like hell right now and no mention of a Namibian without a notebook is going to stop 'em.

Well... I don't have clean running water at the moment.

YANBU

The UK has its downsides, but I'm just thankful I live in a country where I don't have to worry about watching my DD die from lack of food or clean drinking water.

I'm also thankful for free education and healthcare.

I also think we are very lucky to have the benefit system we do. Yes its open to abuse by certain individuals, but its also there for those who really need it who have fallen on hard times.

Sometimes I think we take for granted how easy it is for us to get cheap food. Even when we're skint. Even if I literally only have a couple of quid I can go to tesco and get bread for 47p, a bag of apples for 67p, a bag of flour for around 50p etc. With a bit of creativity several meals can be made with very little money.

I will always be thankful I was born in the UK.

Is that supposed to be me Goose?

Is worrying that your disabled child will be left to cope with neither access to benefits nor the ability to work (and don;t say SSd, SSD only take those with a low IQ, not a low functional IQ- which is how much of the IQ they can actually use)

I don't see my worry as anything other than understandable.

I can live without treats and the rest

Even homelessness I will adapt to if needed.

But I lay awake at night in the knowledge that ds3 is quite likely to be one of the poor buggers homeless on the streets with SN and MH issues when I have passed on.

I spoke with my friend in the IOM yesterday. Her partner has the most horrific back pain following an accident years ago.

I have the most horrendous back pain caused by a number of issues.

He has NO support, no consultant to contact when he needs advice, no pain management clinic, no hydro pool that he can be referred to, he has to wait months to be seen and is currrently struggling to get off codine, to try another drug.

I have a pain management consultant who specialises in the issues I face. He has given me the best available medication, he calls me once a week and communicates with my physio and GP. I'm on a waiting list to have anesthetic and stroid injections that will be put into my spine on both sides, I have a hyrdo pool that my physio refered me too and I can use the gym at the hospital to help strengthen my core stability when I'm ready.

I have all of this at my finger tips.

My friends partner doesn't.

And whilst the NHS has failed me and my family massively in other areas, thereis no way that we could afford to pay for all of the treatment we have had to date.

My DS has Complex SN so his journey will be long and complicated, again, something we couldn't afford.

So as shit as it may be on ocassion, I think we're lucky to have the NHS, as long as it works for us as indivduals.

Glitzknickarz- please!

You dont have running water because a pipe burst.

Can you not see how lucky you are to live in a country where the state has housed you and your family in your times of need in the overall picture?

I'm having to clean faeces and urine using kitchen roll, wipes and hand gel and that's lucky?

Special you might bew able to

But I know a lot of rural poor people through my old work work and they ahve to add bus fares and or petrol to those costs

Now I would be bloody ridiculous to say it's not ahrder abroad, of course it is, thank goodness we don;t live there as I would have died along with ds1 years ago.

But the system doesn;t catch anyone and that number is growing becuase of changes to the way vulnerbale people are helped; mroe will fall through. And the 40 years of NI Dh adn i ahve apid between us mean that it's not all take- in order to get some help we have given too.

You have a temporary and yes gross inconvience that is noones fault.

We had to live through far worse we renovating a house we were living in.

It will be fixed soon. You have a home.

Not according to Shelter. They've advised me to declare myself homeless as it's unfit for human habitation.

So anyone with a burst pipe is homeless now?!

All you have do it clean it and wait for the plumber.

Oh, and one of my children isn't getting a proper education because the LEA don't want to issue a statement and pay money out. I don't think wanting your children to have a basic education is excessive.

So OP and Coco

You would in theory (please don;t do it, you would be sick) be happy to go on the SN and bereavement boards to state the premise of this OP?

Becuase otehrwise the OP should state that for the majority .... which i agree wholeheartedly with.

And even for those who do have financial security etc real hardship of very different types can occue; loss, disability etc. They are different types of ahrdship and someone needing to talk about those are not having a whinge when other have ot worse, they are absolutely entitled to discuss the fear, pain and other negative emotions it brings.

Where otherwise would you stop?

AIBU to be sad that my child died? Yes YABU stop whining someone in Namibia just lost their twins.

I mean, FFS. Life, hardship, celebration all takes different forms and any one existence will tend to cover both extremes. Yesterday we ahd a barbecue to elebrate a ds's end of primary schooling (not going to same place as his mates), day before I was on hospital watch after my ASD DS smaashed my head against a wall in a temper.

life is all sorts, every day,, every week.

It does not matter which country you live in- berevament and SN will always be there though. That does not make it less awful but it worldwide.

I beleive the OP was taking about the UK as a whole not personal tragedy that we ALL can succumb too.

Why assume just because we can recognise we are lucky we must have had pain-free lifes with no problems? That is very far from the truth.

Its relatively speaking- I have lived in 4 different countries and the gap between rich and poor was far wider. I cannot blame a country for any personal issues I have had to suffer but Im glad my issues were not compounded with real threat of absolute poverty or no access to health care for instance.

I also don't consider it fair to compare first world to third world.

this is my mil's mantra, there's always someone worse off that you.

gets wearing, we all have your own problems to deal with

YANBU. Yesterday my 2 year old pulled a just-made cup of tea (placed at the back of the counter- he had to climb up the shelves to get it) onto his face, shoulder and neck.
The paramedics were here within 10 minutes and they blues-and-twos him to the nearest A&E. Within 3 hours he was at the leading children's burns and plastic surgery unit in the UK. All by the NHS. They even got us a taxi home after he had been cleaned, dressed and medicated.

You don't appreciate the services we have until you need them. Thankfully scarring will be minimal, but that is only due to the prompt service we had adn the first aid training DH and I already had. I can only imagine the agony and risk of infection he would have if we didn't have a health service.

So whya re you arguing with Gltta who has a disabled child smearing on her walls and is facing inadequate accomodation due to her carer's role?

plenty of people in teh UK have limited access to education or health care either through their MH issues or the lack of availability of SNU / specialised education places in many areas. Now the fact of worldwide poverty is awful but there is an argument that it is also awful that these things can happen under our nose and not be recognised by the majority, no? That in a country where most people have decent homes, water etc, a brush with MH or an undiagnosed SN can see you homless and hungry.

Here, we do ahve the resources to rpevent that. We don;t have the horrible minefields of how to help ethically whilst ensuring teh money doesn;t fall into the hands of corrupt Governments of warlords. We know that Shelter, Mind, Terence Higgins, YMCA, HomeStart and a myriad of otehr charities can stop the unluckiest people from falling into the groups that become invisible. ANd yet those charities go without resources and, in the case of the one I worked for, close.

It is important we help eliminate worldwide poverty, but not whilst closing our eyes to what can happen to the most vulnerable here. What becomes of care elavers, abused young adults etc. There is a reason that many of the charities dealing with severe poverty operate in the UK as well as developing countries, and that reason is one we should all be ashamed of.

peachy so sorry to hear about the troubles with your DH's work. I'm not sure what he does, but my DH's blind fitting work is getting busy this time of year, I'm sure we could sort out some days over the summer to help tide you over. LEast I can do with all the help and support you've given us re:asd.

She has a burst pipe Peachy.

No Coco, she ahs a far more complex life- she is someone I am friendly with. Hence smearing etc.

But the rest of your post I agree with Peacy.

We are all just 3 steps from homlessness. Luckily as you send there are many channels to provide hope this wont happen which is more HOPE than most people get in some countries.

Coco.... you know nothing.
Two of my children have continence issues. All three have complex additional needs and are classed as disabled.
One is not coping with the toilet not working so he's urinating in his bedroom and smearing faeces on the walls.