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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who would you save first, kids or DH?

122 replies

iMemoo · 02/07/2011 15:28

I was having one of those random hypothetical conversations with my friend and she said if there was a fire she'd save her DH before her DC because she could always have more kids but there would only ever be one of her DH!!

I would, without doubt, save my kids first because I couldn't live without them and as much as I love DH and Id be gutted if he died, I'd get by ok without him.

OP posts:

Original poster

iMemoo · 02/07/2011 16:12

A test run? Does that mean doing the bit where I chuck the kids out of the window too? Neighbours might think I'm a little odd.

Plonker, you are I are cut from the same cloth.

OP posts:

TheOriginalFAB · 02/07/2011 16:13

Dh and I have talked about this. He saves DD, I save DS2 and DS1 is big enough to get himself out. DH says we have to leave the fish and the Guinea Pigs and the cat will get herself out though I would be very tempted to go and get her

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 02/07/2011 16:17

well, clearly not that far. Up to the window will do

omigawd - the children. No question. If he even tried to save me first, I'd rip his bollocks off. But he wouldn't try. He feels the same way I do.

TheOriginalFAB · 02/07/2011 16:18

On the way to the hospital theatre I told DH to save the baby if only one of us could be saved. He said no, he would save me.

Northernlurker · 02/07/2011 16:21

Well we have very nice soft landing stuff at the back thanks to the folk who lived here before and who were obviously very PFB and kitted out the back patio with that squashy stuff you get at play parks BUT it is a few feet further drop than at the front. So our plan is to go from our room at the front to get the older dds at the back getting dd3 on the way. If time and circumstance permits we can then go back to our room and lower out of window using the living room bay window roof to help and landing on grass below. If time etc does not permit we will have to lower from dds windows which will probably hurt more but be perfectly surviveable. You don't need to do this in a trial run but you do need to know the windows aren't locked and consider how you will know where you are in a house full of smoke.....

TheOriginalFAB · 02/07/2011 16:22

I just looked at the EVACSACK and it would only do for the cat as our kids are too old for it.

weimy · 02/07/2011 16:24

I don't seem to be able to have children, but I have already thought about this for the three dogs, the bathroom window can be opened very wide onto a flat roof extension from there it is a reasonable jump to the ground. The dogs are trained to jump on the 'through' command and have even jumped through fire hoops just in case.

Not sure What DH will be doing

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 02/07/2011 16:24

Running through it with your eyes closed helps, or at least I like to think it does

DrGruntFotter · 02/07/2011 16:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Northernlurker · 02/07/2011 16:33

Weimy - wishing you all the best luck in the world to one day have a baby to put in a pillowcase/sack and carry along the landing with your eyes shut in the name of a trial run Dog plan sounds good.

Catslikehats · 02/07/2011 16:34

DC's first, DH is insured

I am always stunned when these threads come up at the number of people that even have to consider putting their DC first

StealthPolarBear · 02/07/2011 16:37

pmsl at "DH is insured" oh well, we'll get anoher

Bearskinwoolies · 02/07/2011 16:40

Got to be kids first, then the dog. Dh is a big bloke and can look after himself (unless he has manflu )

Northernlurker · 02/07/2011 16:40

Queen - have you got him on a new for old policy?

StealthPolarBear · 02/07/2011 16:46

ooh yes you don't want an equivalent model

(apologies to your DH who I am sure is lovely)

diddl · 02/07/2011 16:57

When the kids are taller & stronger than you, is it OK to say every woman for themselves?

missmiss · 02/07/2011 16:57

Just to put another spin on it, here's a story from Herodotus' Histories about Itaphernes' wife:

King Darius captured the family of Itaphernes and put them in chains, except for the wife, whom he kept by him. Her grief at her family's plight moved the King, and gave him thus idea. He brought her brother, husband and dons before her in chains and told her that she could save one of their lives. Itaphernes' wife replied that she wished her brother to be released.

The King was surprised and asked her why she had chosen her brother over her husband and sons. Itaphernes' wife replied, "I am still young; I may get another husband and have more children, but my parents are dead, so I can never have another brother". Convinced by her words, Darius freed her brother and also her eldest son. The rest he slew.

Northernlurker · 02/07/2011 16:58

Diddl - I reckon the are plenty of little old ladies leaping out of bed and dashing to rescure their 40 year old rugby playing, dragon wrestling sons if we but knew it....

LynetteScavo · 02/07/2011 17:01

Kids every time...surely mothers have some sort of biological instinct to save their young.

I once asked my mum(when I was about 8) who she would save me, or my grandma (her MIL) she said she couldn't answer that question, even though I really pushed her.

Personally, I can tell you very easily who I would save if it came between my DC and MIL.

StealthPolarBear · 02/07/2011 17:02

I used to ask mum all the time whether she loved me and dad more than her parents - why are children so obsessed

Northernlurker · 02/07/2011 17:04

Missmiss - then you start to get in to Sophies Choice territory - which is certainly not a conversation I have ever had or would ever have.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 02/07/2011 17:09

We have talked about this due to a family accident whne I was 7 and my aunt uncle and their 2 boys died.

We would both save our boys first
we have a fire plan in the house and in the summer holidays we are gong to have a fire drill at home once at night and once in the day.

you can't plan everything or protect everyone but if you have done something then in the event of an accident perhaps it will help.

ZhenXiang · 02/07/2011 17:14

Kids - DH wouldn't have it any other way and would never talk to me again if he found out I had saved him over the kids.

weimy · 02/07/2011 17:19

Thanks Northernlurker :)

fedupofnamechanging · 02/07/2011 17:19

DC first, without a doubt, but I would go back for DH.

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