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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want neighbours to use our side of a "shared" drive.

18 replies

Grabaspoon · 02/07/2011 14:53

We live in the corner house of a cul-de-sac as do our neighbours however in between our homes are our garages and our drive ways - they are attached but it is obvious that the left is their garage and their drive/parking space and the right is our garage and drive/parking space.

This afternoon our neighbour had people over - to collect items or something - I saw lots of boxes being carried out of the house, however whoever was driving the car and sat in their whilst the boxes were being carried parked his car on our drive way despite neighbours drive being empty and in fact being closer to neighbours door.

Whenever they get taxis ie Fri nights sat early hours, again the taxi pulls up on our side and sits there for a while, while everyone gets themself sorted. Again their drive way is empty.

AIBU to quietly seethe about it? It means I can't be in the kitchen as it looks like I am watching them - as window is directly over the driveway, and also annoys the hell out of me - why can't they drive / sit on neighbours drive, it's hardly un-accessible as it's literally a slight movement to the steering wheel and pulling forward AARGH!!

My DS thinks I am unreasonable but I just don't understand why they can't park on the correct drive.

OP posts:

strawberryjelly · 02/07/2011 14:56

YANBU
talk to them- as a couple if you need to.

Nip it inthe bud- it's your drive- not theirs.

strandedbear · 02/07/2011 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HarrietSchulenberg · 02/07/2011 14:57

Do what my parents did when their neighbour did the same to them. Get some long trough-type plant pots and put them down the middle of the drive. Preferably with plants in otherwise it just looks odd! Not great for neighbourly relations but gets the message across without resorting to a line of conifers.

And no, you're not BU.

HarrietSchulenberg · 02/07/2011 14:57

x post strandedbear!

MoonGirl1981 · 02/07/2011 14:58

They probably just parked in the wrong bit.

My guests sometimes park in my neighbours drive without realising (first time they visit) and vice versa.

Unless they're blocking us in or out it doesn't worry me.

Yu can still use your kitchen, they won't think you're watching, they'll think you're making a cuppa or whatever.

If it does really bother you then pop round and politely ask them to stop. Or write your house number on your garage door to make it more obvious.

Northernlurker · 02/07/2011 14:59

So what you're objecting to is them being on an area closer to your house when you aren't using it, aren't trying to access it and they're only there for a very short time anyway?

Get a grip! I agree with your ds.

fedupofnamechanging · 02/07/2011 15:02

If it's just the occasional taxi, then I'd ignore it. I think you are being daft not to use the kitchen - if they see you standing there, they might realise that they are parking on your drive. If it gets to a point where their guests are parking there and going inside the house, then that's the time to have a quiet word or puncture their tyres

strawberryjelly · 02/07/2011 15:02

I can't see how you can have plants in a border of concrete or tarmac, and if you pot them up you are restricting access for both parties- might be something in house deeds about not putting any objects in driveway.

and why should the OP go to that expense anyway?

OP- just knock on their door, smile sweetly and say you need a chat.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 02/07/2011 15:06

err you can just park on their half if your side is full when you need to use it?

AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 15:06

I can understand being pissed off at the cheek of it.

But, the two examples you give are of people who wouldn't necessarily know they were parking on your drive.

The neighbours could have said to the driver waiting for the boxes I suppose, but they probably didn't think it would be a problem.

I personally wouldn't risk having to live next door to people I've fallen out with just for this reason (and pots or plants down the middle might give them a clue something's going on, I'd probably talk to them rather than plant hinting).

It's not that bad in the scale of Things Shitty Neighbours Can Get Up To.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/07/2011 15:09

TBH, I think YAB a bitU. If you've had the neighbours I've had, you would think you'd died and gone to heaven if sporadic parking things are the only issue.

Adagoo · 02/07/2011 15:10

YABU.

It's not your neighbours, it's their visitors or taxis, they aren't doing anything wrong.

You are a bit strange saying you can't use your kitchen. You are overthinking it. Do what you've got to do. If they see you then they will probably think 'shit I'm in her driveway'

AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 15:10

But what could the OP say in the chat strawbs?

'Is it possible for you to stop parking on our side of the drive please lovely neighbours, it's not causing a problem because of us using it at the time, but it's just so fucking irritating...'

I just can't think of a reason why the OP could say she objected, if their drive was needed the neighbours would just move their car surely?

strawberryjelly · 02/07/2011 15:25

It's perfectly simple what she needs to say.

something along the lines of:

I appreciate there is no physical boundary between our shared driveways, but there may be a day when we have visitors and someone visiting you has parked in our drive. ( or maybe their car is blocked in by people at the neighbour's house?) it is also invading my privacy because my kitchen window fronts the drive.

Could you please advise anyone who visits you that your driveway is on the left next to your house and ours is the one on the right.

simple.

AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 15:31

And the neighbours reply,

' Oh, OK'

Afterwards inside the neighbours house...

'Fucking hell I thought we really got on with her, maybe we should be moving if this is the thin edge of the boundary wedge'.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 02/07/2011 17:31

You wouldn't like to live in my house at the moment OP. We have a shared drive side-by-side. Neighbours are having an extension built. We haven't been able to park on our drive on several days for the last week because their builders have put a concrete mixer on it and are busy mixing concrete.

Neighbours have been very apologetic, they have explained the concept of "this is our drive, this is next door's" to the builders, who appear not to understand.

I don't mind though, there's plenty of room to park on the road and it's not going to be for long.

Maybe their visitors don't understand either?

witch000 · 02/07/2011 19:45

YANBU

Why should they use your drive, they have their own.

Thegreenfliesareonme · 02/07/2011 20:03

YANBU, I wouldn't like it either.

Our neighbour used to park right up to the edge of our drive on her side, but almost, almost on to ours. She would leave just a millimetre or so between her car and the edge of our drive - and loads of room on the other side. This meant that we could only get one car on our side as we wouldn't have been able to open the door of the second one because of her inconsiderate parking (she had one car and could have parked in the middle of her drive).

I know it's irrational, but it used to drive me mad.

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