Muslim boyfriend

[Worriedandqueasy]

Lest you think this is a racist rant, I am mixed race (african/english).

I am worried about DD (14) who has acquired a muslim boyfriend. The reasons that I am worried are as follows:

1. His parents are vehemently opposed to anyone outside the faith

1. He is completely inarticulate and a bit hopeless

1. The religion really worries me - whilst Islam doesn't itself condone the poor treatment of women, its adherents often seem to.

I'd be nearly as worried if she were dating any other radical believers of any faith.

I really feel uncomfortable here and I don't know if IABU

worried first of all Islam is. Religion not a race, so im not sure how being african/english helps here.

I also have few questions:

Are you of any particular religion yourself ? possible conflict of views

Would you feel better if the boyfriend's family werent against marrying non muslims ? Or would you feel the same.

As your dh is 14, i would leave her be for now as any sign of negativity towards this relationship will suddenly become her "cause to defend!"

Dont pay too much attention to it but let her feel free to discuss it with you, so at least you know whats going on, any criticism and she will clam up, and then the real danger starts.

I nearly spat my tea when the read As your dh is 14 nokissymum

the original poster is not being racist. She is concerned about the boy's religious upbringing and how it might impact on her dd which is fair enough. however they are very young and it may fizzle out.

worra this is the second time on here ive made this mistake,OP doesnt need a 14 yr old dh in the mist of all this

alemci i think posters are saying OP is rascist because she said she is not rascist, being african/english, this of course infers that its non african/english people who are.

Ive heard people say this before and on the one hand i totallyunderstand what they mean because most stories about rascism tend to be from a majority group towards a minority, however in an attempt for minorities to protect themselves unconsciously end up perpertrating the very attitudes they abhor.

well were the other way round ds is 15 (it was his birthday last week) and is going out with a muslim girl same age

this dating has been going on for 3 months

the girl comes to ours often but ds has only been to hers after school when her parents are out this is because she is not allowed to date ANYBODY and when her parents asked about my ds she has said he is her gay friend

but it frecks me out dont want any trouble but ds really really likes her a lot x

AitchGee
Having sex with young girls was common in those days and so paedophiles didnt really exist because it was not a crime

YABU to insinuate that people of mixed race can't be racist.
Stay out of your daughter's relationship until if and when it is causing her pain. The more parents interfere the more together the couple are pushed.

AitchGee are you insinuating that all Muslim men are paedophiles? Surely that's not what you meant...

What's the difference between his parents' attitude and your own? It could all be very Romeo and Juliet if you don't change your outlook. Well, hopefully not in the tragic sense.

"Are you of any particular religion yourself ? possible conflict of views" - No

"Would you feel better if the boyfriend's family werent against marrying non muslims ? Or would you feel the same." I would feel an awful lot better

I think she's wildly keen on it being forbidden - so I am not forbidding anything (and anyway how could I?) - but his parents are just making things worse IMO

AG, wtf, as if at that point in history that kind of age difference wasn't the norm. Can hardly apply today's standards can you.

Re 14yo and bf situation, if he were that 'radical' he would not have a gf (of any religion) at all as 'freemixing' is prohibited, thus I doubt they are that radical.

By the by, christian and jewish women are perfectly aceptable as partners for muslim men, so they couldn't really object if dd was either of those.

Finally, agree with it will all be over in a fortnight. Als,get to know the boy, maybe he is lovely.

if he was a radical muslim he wouldn't have a girlfriend anyway...

I know that Islam is a religion not a race

But it also seems to me that a lot of islamophobic types are racist

That's why I mentioned my heritage

lol x post amirah

racist or [insert group]phobic, abbreviate andcall it apprehension of those different to you.

aitchgee read this answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100421102557AA4dBLN
:-) at sunshine2009

Sorry to OP this doesnt really help but a lot of people saying "they're 14, it won't last".

I am engaged to my 'first' who I started seeing when I was 13 and am pregnant with his baby. Just because they are 14, and it probably won't last, it does happen every now and again!!!

Very pissed off that the OP states racism is only allowed in white people! Haven't read whole thread, hoping you have managed to put the "I'm not racist I'm African/English" thing into a better phrase... ok now I shall go back to read entire thread in hopes of finding this...

Tell her what a wonderful boy he is and how you wholehearted approve of her seeing him.That should do the trick!!

Where did I say that only white people were racist? I only mentioned my heritage so that you'd hopefully appreciate that I was less likely to be racist. Of course I could be here trying to foster a mixed-race supremacists agenda ...

^I know that Islam is a religion not a race

But it also seems to me that a lot of islamophobic types are racist

That's why I mentioned my heritage^

Oh so you are saying that you are Islamophobic, just that you are not racist and you believe your dual heritage will explain this because, as we all know, only white people are racist.

I see.

why less likely to be racist?!

You are truly outrageous!

That is why there is an assumption that you believe white people are racist.

Does that apply to all white people?

Well okay. You try being racist growing up in a mixed race environment. You'd find it pretty difficult.