To think my friend is an utter loon?

[Piggyleroux]

Prob should be in baby names, but need urgent help.

my best friend whom I've known since I was 12, is currently pg with her second child due next month. She already has an eight yo dd and this second child is a long time coming.

The issue is, her taste in names is truly shocking. Her dd is called Phatone, pronounced fertony, making her dd the brunt of some very cruel jokes at school. Her dd has already told me that as soon as she is 16 she plans on changing it.

Anyway, my friend calls me tonight to tell me that her and her dh have two names they like (they are having a boy)

Gryphon or Tedber.

Please, please dear mumsnetters, for the love of god, please make her see sense. (I told her I would post this on , she fully consents to canvass opinions )

I quite like it pronounced, Griffen, and i also like Tedber, as Tedbur. Not so keen on the girls name but then i don't like the name Sarah, Jane or Stella

At no point have I said that all old-fashioned names are good names. I simply explained the history behind my son's Yorkshire name because many people on this thread said that 'Tedber' was a made up made up name, a random jumble of letters, wasn't even spelt right, was textspeak etc.

There are 3 variations of the name in Yorkshire and around the world, all pronounced the same: TedBER, TedBUR and TedBAR. All are pronounced the same, they just have different spellings. It has nothing to do with Teddy bears anymore than the name 'Brooke' has to do with a book, 'Carla' has to do with a curler or the name 'Angela' has to do with a heavenly being.

If people don't like my son's name, then fine...I can live with that! There's a good chance I won't be that keen on some of your children's names either. However please don't try to excuse derisory, mocking taunts and jibes by saying you are only showing the kind of unpleasantness that (your?) children will exhibit when looking for something to bully a child over.

If a bully is going to pick on other children and humiliate them, they will do it about anything...clothing, height, nose shape, family background, surname, etc. No doubt they will also be laughing at the Chinese called 'Shaozu', the Japanese child called 'Momoko', the Asian child called 'Talan' or the Jewish child called 'Hamor' but I doubt anyone will criticise these names because they might be accused of racism by doing so. If I had come on and said that Tedber was a Jewish or Muslim name, would there have been the same amount of slurs calling me stupid, ridiculous, egotistical, thoughtless and cruel to my child for saddling them with a "shit" name?

Having a discussion and raising genuine questions about possible issues regarding names is one thing, but just being rude and laughing at someone is a totally different thing altogether.

Moaning - the Greek derived names, like Penelope, Persephone, Hermione, Phoebe etc. are pronounced as the Greeks would pronounce them, with the e at the end being a separate syllable. No accent required.

It could be worse, I am surrounded by families who keep reinventing the same name over and over, for each child

Christine & Christopher & Krysta (!?!)

D'Arnel, D'Arnette, D'Angel

and so on.

A bit of the unusual wouldn't go amiss!

Well said TedbersMum!! I love your son's name by the way!!

a Chinese child with the name Shaozu is unfortunate indeed - as it may very well mean little pig.

I feel like a bad person because this thread has made me laugh so much that I've woken up my DP. Phatone is just awful because unlike something like Penelope which also isn't pronounced as it is spelled, people won't know how to pronounce it and it does read as "fat one". Gryphon and Tedber are both awful too (sorry Tedbersmum) but at least they can be easily shortened to something a bit more normal. Parents really do need to take into account the tease factor when they are picking their children's names. In Germany you have to apply for special permission to call your child something that isn't on the official list of allowed baby names and I think that's a great idea.

QueenS - Penelope is pronounced how it is spelled, it's where you put the emphasis that isn't obvious. As my friend discovered, when a school assistant called her Penny-lope. Pen-el-o-pe is pronouncing it how it is spelled though.

Beyonce is a ridiculous name too, maybe her Phatone will be rich and famous one day....I bloody hope so, poor kid...

Penelope isn't pronounced how you would expect it to be though and I was about 12 before I made the connection between the spelling and the spoken name. Before then I would have pronounced it Penny-lope like the TA did and would have tried to spell it as Pinellopy. I'd also have pronounced Hermione as Her-my-own before I saw the Harry Potter films and Persephone was Percy-phone in my head. Even though I know how these names are pronounced now, it still wouldn't occur to me to pronounce Phatone as fertony, although Fa-tone occurred to me before fat one. For the record I do think that Hermione and Persephone are beautiful names but don't think that anyone should call their DC that because even if they did get through school without being teased they'd spend their whole lives having to spell their names out. I always have to do that with my surname even though it's only five letters long and very simple to spell because it's an Irish name which isn't quite common enough to be known over here and people are always mishearing it as something else. I'd switch to my mum's maiden name but that's even worse because people over here would hear it correctly but want to spell it differently.

QS - my first name is only very short but people still insist on spelling it wrong! It's amazing to me. I had an unusual spelling of a faily uncommon surname as well before I married; and now I have the least common spelling of a fairly common Irish surname now I am married so I know what you mean - not only can people not spell it, they can't pronounce it when it's spelled properly either!

IMO Tedber is a lovely name as is Gryphon.

A French friend of mine is one of 6 dds all called Marie; Marie-Clair, Marie-Louise, Marie-Pauline, Marie-Helene, Marie-Veronique and Marie-Eugenie.

THat reminds me of my old school French book - the older sister was called Marie-France (I think the younger was called Claudette but I might have that wrong).

Are you an O' Brien by any chance Thumbwitch? I'll be amazed if I'm right but that's just the first Irish surname that popped into my head from your description.

Oh and my first name is only six letters long. British and Irish people can spell it fine but Americans always want to give it some crazy spelling (they have three different ways of spelling it wrong).

Similar QueenS - some of the same letters but in a different order ! However, it's not that common so I'd rather you didn't guess correctly on the open board, if you don't mind - you can PM me if you guess again :)

When I named my dc, I thought that I had to give them real names, like Thomas and James and Elizabeth. I didn't know that I could just make things up or I would have had loads of fun. There were two children called Unique in the same class in one London school. When I was in Primary School there were 4 boys called John. I don't know any Johns now.

As a grandmother, I am horrified to see the kind of remarks made on this forum. I cannot believe the cruel, bitchy and bullying comments made by mothers today and can now see why so many children are being bullied if these are the attitudes held by their parents. Whatever you may feel about a child's name please realise that by voicing your opinions in this way you may cause immense hurt to any child who has an unusual name and to their family. I was brought up to have tolerance and understanding of people and to treat them with kindness. I believe that that is one of the most valuable lessons that you can teach your children.

Well they are not worse than Sonic and J Dogg..they will be my first grandchildren apparently ...but then my DD is 7yrs old :)

I don't think it's that sweeping tbh some people are cruel and bitchy and it's rubs off ...some people are joking and sunflower may just be context-free

Phatone = phat one =fat one! whata crap name. Sounds mde up.

And the two boys names you have mentioned - just hideous. Are they real; names or just scribble?? The kids will be teasted to death. Does she know how much her dd is teased?? well, choose a sensible name for this baby! There are plenty of real non-common names around ..........................

It really doesn't matter what your name is, if someone is going to tease you or taunt you for your name, they can do it with any "normal" name and things which rhyme with that, or versions of it and so on.

Phat = cool or pretty hot and tempting.....ghetto fab

Garam - I have loved the name Azizi (spelling I'm familiar with) for years now. Named my first dog Azizi Chioke - Beloved Gift of God. You're right, it's a lovely name. And I mean that (naming a dog that) in the nicest way...this dog was a lifesaver for me!

My DS1, who has a slightly unconventional/old fashioned name, renamed himself "Mac" when he was in nursery (for the computer? or the little girl he was smitten with who had that as part of her name?). He actually convinced kids, teachers, head to call him that (refused to respond to his given name). And you know what, everyone followed his wishes.

So while Phatone is uncommon (and frankly appalled that it's found in the urban dictionary -ugh), hopefully she can convince everyone to just call her Toni/Tony, etc. Poor girl.