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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this will beat all other MIL horror stories?

71 replies

cricketballs · 30/06/2011 15:49

here

makes my MIL look a saint! Grin

OP posts:
Lady1nTheRadiator · 30/06/2011 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nomorehotbaths · 30/06/2011 15:55

I've seen this - something about it doesn't ring true to me, not 100% convinced that it's genuine.
If it is, the irony here is that the height of bad manners is to criticize someone else's manners so the MIL doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Glitterknickaz · 30/06/2011 15:55

Mind you if the DIL to be needs that kind of advice on table manners..... Shock
(I appreciate it might not be true though)

MrsTwinks · 30/06/2011 15:56

Thats nothing. when i was on a wedding forum before i got married i heard much worse.. One of the best was the MIL who wore herown wedding dress to the wedding Grin [shocked]

Original poster
cricketballs · 30/06/2011 15:59

love that MrsTwinks; about 6 months after I met my DH; he and his mother had a huge row about me; apparently I wasn't good enough for him because I was wearing jeans Hmm

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/06/2011 16:01

I agree with the MIL too.

I do have a secret hankering to participate in 'Ladette to Lady' though, I'd love to have a cookery lesson from Rosemary Schraeger. Grin

I like the uniforms too... Blush

CaveMum · 30/06/2011 16:05

MrsTwinks I was also on a wedding forum a few years ago and recall a similar story, except that the Mother of the Groom wore head to toe black (a la a funeral) and sobbed through the service at the loss of her "little boy" Hmm

LDNmummy · 30/06/2011 16:24

I think the MIL is in the wrong but the future DIL does seem to lack manners if she indeed acted as the MIL has pointed out.

The only bit that stuck out to me to make me think the MIL may be OTT about it in some ways is the expectation that the future DIL should write thank you cards. I would usually call after a visit to say thank you to my host, not write a card as that is very archaic.

I do however understand the MIL's comment on the future DIL wanting to get married in a castle.

biddysmama · 30/06/2011 16:26

my mil was in charge of the wedding reception ... she only ordered enough food for her family, not mine..

Ealingkate · 30/06/2011 16:30

There is a great wedding + MIL thread in mumsnet classics - I cried with laughter alot. If I find it I'll pop a link up.

MrsTwinks · 30/06/2011 16:30

Shock thats awful!! Some of them can be a bit much cant they. I have the opposite problem to the OP, my MIL thinks I'm a snob because I bother write thankyou cards and wait until everyone has sat before eating and that. mmm... maybe I should swap DH for freddieGrin

PrettyMeerkat · 30/06/2011 16:46

Just read the article! That MIL shocked me! The fact that she keeps referring to the family as "the Bourne family" just shows she's up her own arse (for want of a way to put it nicer).

I can't believe the people on here agreeing with the MIL!

Who handwrites thank you cards these days just for a visit? (for a gift maybe) Not many people.

Perhaps she was declaring what she would and wouldn't eat because of her Diabetes? And since when has Diabetes been something that you mustn't talk about! Vulgar?!

One mustn't draw attention to one's self . . . Fuck off!

Not taking second helpings . . . well if it's there on the table it's there to be eaten!

As for laying in bed . . . maybe she just overslept!

If she wasn't prepared for some long walk then that's daft but not something to slag her off about!

Where they get married is none of her business! If you don't like it don't pay for it!

And slagging of her parents for being poorer . . .

I really hope you people are joking by thinking MIL is right. She thinks she's a member of the royal family or something! I suspect she just doesn't want to let her precious son go.

ImperialBlether · 30/06/2011 16:55

The thing is that the groom-to-be was visiting his father. Who writes a thank you note when they visit their own dad?

I noticed the MIL is the step mother. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I wouldn't be calling her a MIL in that case.

If the bride-to-be has behaved like that then she was rude (starting to eat before others, taking more food etc) but the email was totally over the top.

PrettyMeerkat · 30/06/2011 17:01

Maybe she started eating because of the Diabetes thing. Maybe she needed more food because of that as well. (not entirely sure how diabetes works but that sounds feasible). Maybe in the girls family then people do just help themselves to food.

The point is that the letter is just criticising and really nitpicking. She says nothing nice about the girl at all and she can't be that bad! She had clearly decided to dislike her before they even met.

mercibucket · 30/06/2011 17:02

loon alert
I do indeed pity poor Freddie - what a step-mother!

catgirl1976 · 30/06/2011 17:06

Wow. It is terrible etiquette to point out someone elses lack manners or to pass comment on thier behaviour. Whilist I agree the DILs table manners sound pretty awful and the lying in bed is not acceptable behavour the SMIL goes beyond the pale in pointing this out and has made herself look extremely bad mannered! Commenting on the financial situaiton of the girls parents is beyond vulgarity.....

forehead · 30/06/2011 17:17

Agree with catgirl, mil commenting on the parents financial situation is terribly rude.
Poor Freddy

Pompoko · 30/06/2011 17:21

I dread my wedding day. Could easly see my mum turning up in funeral gear. There will proberly be fights between both mothers, then youve got the step dad and mils ex to seperate.

TartyMcFarty · 30/06/2011 17:34

biddysmama, did you find this out at the reception? If so, how on earth did you deal with it? Surely your MiL must have realised she'd come out of it looking like a prize twat Shock

Salmotrutta · 30/06/2011 17:53

If this is genuine and not some mad publicity stunt then the SMIL has presumably alienated her DSS too. No young guy with any backbone would stand by while his SM went of on one like that, surely?
Even if this woman can't stand the future DIL she should shut up and let them get on with it unless she is witnessing outright abusive or outrageous behaviour from the young woman. Quickest way to alienate the DS and DIL. But maybe she wants. to alienate her DSS................

Salmotrutta · 30/06/2011 17:54

off on one and ignore the random full-stop after "maybe she wants" -

pingu2209 · 30/06/2011 18:03

I heard a tale of a very nobel family who invited guests who did not realise that the bowl of water with a piece of lemon in was for washing your fingers after a starter. The guests started to drink it as a soup with a spoon. The hosts, as they were polite, did the same so not to make their guest feel stupid.

Whilst you should try to follow 'house rules' if you are unaware of what they are, the true manners should come from the host by making their guests behaviour acceptable.

Flisspaps · 30/06/2011 18:07

SMIL sounds like a complete bitch.

PrettyMeerkat · 30/06/2011 18:50

pingu2209 I think that's pretty cool! Mmmm lemon water!

Scheherezadea · 30/06/2011 18:52

MIL needs to go on Ladette to lady herself - she needs to be sent to charm school - that is not etiquette! Evidence of the MIL being a bad host, very very rude behaviour.

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