to think this will beat all other MIL horror stories?

[cricketballs]

here

makes my MIL look a saint!

Peachy Wow!

While I don't agree with sending an e-mail, we don't know what had already taken place. Both parents may have already spoken to the son about her on other occasions (it does sound as though it is not based on just one occurrence). We don't have any information on the son. Have to say I agree with the majority of the examples of behaviour being rude and I'm not ancient! I also agree that the girl's father sounds awful, what an example to set.

In addition, I am a step mother and find the earlier comment stating that means she is not therefore going to be a MIL ridiculous. The role you play in life counts for so much more than blood lines. I have personally found myself in a simialr situation with SKID'S partner and talking to DSS made no difference whatsoever. And just to make it clear, in our case it was my DH who pulled them up initially. He tried the approach of suggesting DSS might want to make sure his partner was aware of certain things. Staying as a guest in someone's home, regardless of the relationship between you requires some basic good manners and courtesy and maybe they had politely reminded their son of this just as my DH had, but to no avail.

Not all MILs or even SMILs are evil old crows. Honest!

Peachy - good for your DH! And :( that his mother is such a bitch.

Ahhhhh - y'know, this reminds me of Lady Catherine de Bourgh in Pride and Prejudice - she was so far up her own consequence that she didn't hesitate to hand out condescending "advice" to her "inferiors" as well.

Oh I forgot the * didn;t I/

Well. the faked sweat fainty fit failed becuase we ahd put the speeches before the meal to get them over with, and on top of that DH's Aunt (paternal, very much The Grand Lady, MIL always idolised her) on the wedding video is clearly ehard to say 'Oh it's her faking it again, if she can;t be centre of attention she will ruin everyone elses's day instead'.......

The poor smil posts are ironic I guess.

What's the hand written thank you not ffs. Is that normal for an English person. I thought I was a Brit until now.

if someone came to my house and helped themselves to more food i would be
a)flattered they liked it
b)mortified i hadn't given them enough.

I ask people what they don't eat/don't like before they come to stay - my husband doesn't eat fish and it embarrasses the host if they serve something he can't eat.(expecially the time when he had to order a pizza )

I think this lady was a bit out of line criticising her STBDIL like that, even if what she did was technically wrong by Debrett's book of modern manners.

Both of them sound frightful, frankly!
The girl sounds very ill mannered,but then so does the MIL. A good hostess would find out about a guest's dietary requirements before the visit

I want to know what Freddie the bf said about it all.Did he lose his cajonas somewhere?

giveitago - I had a friend (not any more) who was of the "one must send a hand-written thank you note after any event" persuasion - she was wannabe upperclass. I think it may be one of those upper middle class thingies.

I used to send thank you notes something I learned to do on here.

My family thought it was farking hilarious so I gave up.

LaydeeLaLa That is an interesting post and as I have read more of this thread I too am coming to the conclusion that Fred has been a bit lacking here.

He knows what his step-mum is like and also his GF. He could and should have done more beforehand to smooth the way and bring a little understanding on both sides. If the explanation anout her dietary requirements had come from him it might have been taken more seriously. Similarly he could have prepared his GF for what might be expected in terms of usual breakfast times and family outings etc.

Another thought - if Heidi had to share this email with anyone then its a pity it wasn't Freddie. Much embarassment and bad feeling could have been averted if they had been able to sort this out within the family.

Laydee - what's the thing about her father?

Can't see it in the article.

well on my first trip away with future ILs I made the grave mistake of putting my toiletries in the shared bathroom as I unpacked. They included an unopened pack of sanitary somethings (can't remember what) as I thought I was due during the few days we were away.

I was politely asked to remove them by my boyfriend after something was said to him.

I was a bit embarrassed.

However later the MIL went into a loud and lengthy description of wearing a sanitary towel with yoghurt on it as she was suffering from thrush. She didn't seem to think there was anything inappropriate about sharing that.

I was and and at this.

Has Freddy/Freddie made a comment yet?

"Has Freddy/Freddie made a comment yet?"

If he hasn't made any public comment then that is the first sensible act from anyone involved in this sorry saga.

The silly old bag future MIL maybe couldn't help thinking those things but should never have sent them in an email.

Heidi, the GF, was very silly to share this email with anyone - other than perhaps her fiancee. Not exactly the best way to sort out differences with the family she is hoping to become part of.

Heidi's father is not exactly pouring oil on troubled waters (well not without throwing on a lighted match afterwards) by publicly weighing in with his opinion of the future MIL in the tabloid press.

Freddie may have been lacking in his failure to prepare his family and his GF for their get-togethers! However, if he is making no public comment now then at least he is not making the situation worse.

I must beg to disagree 5foot. If I was the unfortunate woman in the middle of all this horribleness (?a word), I would call the whole wedding off if my D intended didn't come out and publicly support me.

ooh, I just thought it was hilarious. If I was in the situation, I'd milk it for all its worth, telling the tabloids my side of the story, and ofcourse selling my wedding pics. Hell I'd even sell tickets to the wedding!

I was always told to turn a negative into a positive.

Suppose the dil could use the money for the castle

We don't actually know just how bad, or not, Heidi's behaviour was. The early rising may have meant she got up at 11am, or equally that she got up at 8am but the family rose at 7am. As for the diabetes, maybe Heidi was simply explaining what she could and couldn't eat due to it.

Maybe the SMIL took a dislike to Heidi on sight and was determined to pick up on every little thing she could think of.

Anyone prepared to send a nasty, spiteful email like that is bound to be deeply unstable. Reading that the poor girl has diabetes makes most of it perfectly understandable, too. Sounds like she simply explained her dietary requirements and did what was necessary to keep herself well over the weekend. And even if she was slightly hard work, the role as loving parent/step-parent is to overlook and get on with her for their son's sake. The comment at the end about how the girl must be congratulating herself on snagging someone so "eligible" just about says it all. Classic projection - I'm guessing she's simply in love with her fiance.
My summary - a vicious cow using "etiquette" as a stick to beat the girl with.

Freddy's real mum adds in her bit!
Caroline Bourne even sounds a bit like Catherine de Bourgh...