aibu?! relatives coming to visit and i dont want them to bring their dog...

[4madboys]

i know, i know another dog thread....

anyway the jist is this, we have relatives on dp's side who will be visiting in the summer for most of a week, they will come in a caravan but will be at our house EVERYDAY! they insist on bringing their dog (as its their baby..) BUT I AM ALLERGIC TO DOGS!!

I have eczema, asthma and hayfever and the dog sends my skin nuts, i will be itchy, sneezey etc. they insist the dog comes in the house, i have suggested it stays in the garden, or conservatory if its wet, but oh no it has to come in the sitting room and even sit under the table in the dining rm whilst we are eating... it drives me nuts.

apparently iam being unreasonable as allergies are just a 'trendy fad' (have been allergic my whole life!

also the dog is old and 'fragile' and they are very over cautious with regards to my kids touching/stroking/being near it...the boys are very gentle (we have taught them to be kind to animals etc and they are always supervised) but our dd is almost 7mths and may well be crawling by the time they visit (aug) and i just think my allergies, crawling baby and our four other boys, plus the dog equals nightmare!

we wont be able to relax as we will constantly be watching kids/dog and my skin etc will go mad which means i will be uncomfortable and it affects my sleep as i itch so much, so i will end up knackered (well more knackered than usual!)

i want to tell the relatives, yes visit thats fine, but do not bring the dog, but dp doesnt want to upset the relatives.

they regularly leave the dog in kennels to go on holiday btw, so its used to being left, its just that the assume they can bring the dog when they visit us, despite me saying that it affects my allergies etc, apparently i should just take a tablet to stop my itching...if only it were that simple!

so am i being unreasonable to just put my foot down and say whilst we want them to visit, we dont want them to bring the dog?!!

and how to do so tactfully!

Just say no, and stick to it. My other half has a severe breathing problem and any pet hair makes it worse - so we don't visit those with dogs, we meet them out for lunch etc., and we won't have them here - end of.

I think they're being selfish to even debate the issue with you, it's your house, so stick to what suits you.

yanbu at all.
agree with the others, just say no and stay firm. (I know, easier said than done)
for the sake of your health and sanity.

Lots of kennels won't take dogs past a certain age or if they have medications they need. As they have the caravan, could you not just agree that the dog isn't allowed in the house? It could be in the garden if they are visiting for a short time or just stay at the caravan whilst they visit you.

I wish people would read the ops sometimes.
The dog can stay in a kennel, and does regularly. So if they can do it for their own benefit they can do it for yours.
Tell your husband to stop being such a bloody wimp and to support you. Ring them up and say "I appreciate your views, however because of my health problems I cannot agree to having your dog in the house. We are really looking forward to seeing you both, but have to ask you to respect our wishes in this".
Then each time they protest or try to lay on the guilt trip "I appreciate whaty you are saying, however we do not want you to bring the dog to the house". Write it down if necessary, don't vary it, dont' say sorry, just repeat. I suppose the ultimate guilt trip is that they will decide not to come. In which case you are really sorry because you had so been looking forward to their visit, but you appreciate them going to such lengths to protect your health.

OP its your house tell them NO DOG, it is rude and inconciderate to expect you to cope with an animal that you are so allergic to. Tell you DH that if he won't deal with it you do, they can visit but the animal stays well and truely out of your home

Nice to see a unanimous MN thread - no-one has said you are being unreasonable. Let us know how it goes - I hate not finding out.

i will let you know!

and the dog is not ill, just old and so a bit wobbly on her legs sometimes, she is a perfectly nice dog, ihave nothing against her! she just makes me itch and sneeze and its a pita with the kids having to watch them all the time, i would hate for one of them to annoy her and then her nip at them (tho they are NEVER left alone so i doubt this would happen, but you never know, esp if dd is crawling)

anyway they have given us a week when they want to visit and they are bringing an extra child, well 13yr old with them, thats a whole other issue...

i will talk to you and update!

hmmm - 13 yr old could take said dog for walks whilst they are visiting? Might be on to something.

unfortunately not as she is at that stroppy stage... she is alovely girl :) its just another mouth to feed and another person to factor in when we go anywhere, what is suitable etc, plus my boys will vie for her attention.

i spoke to briefly to said relatives today, and mentioned the dog, she just went on about how they 'always bring the dog' umm yeah and i dont want you to! and that when they go away in the caravan they bring the dog and only put it in kennels when they 'have' to ie when its convenient for them, not because i dont want the dog in my house.

anyhow it was just a brief chat as my dad was here (he left his dog at home!) and i was busy trying to sort out milk/lunch for the baby.

i or dp will have a proper chat with them one evening once the kids are in bed!

I would either be exceedingly firm, or move out for the week and ask them too have your house professionally cleaned afterwards so you don't suffer from the allergens.

Really, you have to say no. You know that.

They can and must kennel the dog for the week, or simply not come.

YANBU in the slightest.
That said, I'd invite the dog not the rellies, even if I was violently allergic to it. I can only imagine that said dog is far more well mannered and respectful than its owners.