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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that there are too many selfish couples like this ruining people's meals with a screaming baby.

115 replies

theinet · 28/06/2011 21:21

Company director Clive Merrifield, 45, was enjoying an evening meal with partner Idalina Lucas when he politely suggested Billy West, 20, and his girlfriend put the wailing seven-month-old to bed.
West approached the couple's neighbouring table, pulled a bottle of white wine from their ice bucket and brought it down at 'full force' onto Mr Merrifield's skull in front of other customers.
The victim was left with a 'four inch ragged scar' on his scalp following the brutal assault at Parveen, an Indian Restaurant in Theberton Street, Islington, north London.
The former soldier fears the wound makes him look like a thug and is anxious about his image with employees and clients, Blackfriars Crown Court heard.
Karen Robinson, prosecuting, said the clash took place shortly after 10pm on October 9 last year after the baby had been crying for up to half an hour.
West was sitting at a table with his young family and another man, and Mr Merrifield and Ms Lucas were at the next.
'The baby was crying and the lady was seen to get up and down and make moves in an effort to comfort the baby,' said the barrister.
'It was described as consistent and persistent and went on for about 15 to 30 minutes.
'Other customers were looking in the direction of the baby during the course of this period.
'Mr Merrifield said he had had a couple of drinks but describes himself as sober.'
The prosecutor said Mr Merrifield became 'frustrated by the crying and put his head in his hands', and told Ms Lucas: 'I've had enough.'
The victim stood up, approached West's party and said: 'It's a quiet restaurant. We're trying to have a quiet dinner and your baby's not stopped crying.
'Maybe your baby is tired?'
Witnesses described his tone as 'polite and reasonable', but nontheless West's girlfriend held the child aloft and said sarcastically: 'It's a baby.'
Mr Merrifield suggested the tot 'ought to be in bed', prompting West and the second man to stand up and invite him to settle the matter 'outside'.
Staff asked them to leave the restaurant and West was ushered towards the door.
But they 'continued to remonstrate with staff' and CCTV shows West returning to Mr Merrifield, who had stayed sitting down.
'He took a glass wine bottle from its ice bucket and hit him to the back of the head, smashing it on impact,' said the prosecutor.
A witness described West taking the weapon 'high and behind his head and taking aim, bringing it down with full force'.
Mr Merrifield said he 'felt a blow' to the back of his head which left him 'shocked, stunned and disorientated'.
West simply walked to the door and left the premises.
The vicitm was taken to hospital where he was given an emergency x-ray and 16 stitches.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 28/06/2011 22:29

I agree that at 10pm it's not right to have a baby in a restraurant. But the father of the baby is a prat of the hIghest order for the way he reacted and doesn't deserve children.

I was out with Ds at dinner time today and he was crying so I took him outside to calm him as it's not fair on others to disrupt there meals.

Crosshair · 28/06/2011 22:29

In the title: to think that there are too many selfish couples like this ruining people's meals with a screaming baby.

largewhitewine · 28/06/2011 22:30

Why the biscuits?
Aren't people allowed to prefer a dinner out without being disturbed by a baby crying? Although, i must admit, having a wine bottle in my skull would disturb me more.

scurryfunge · 28/06/2011 22:30

Babies in a restaurant are not generally an issue. Unsettled babies with sensible parents generally get taken out for a wander until they drop off and allow parents to get back to their meal.

This man is a thug whether in a restaurant or at home and I guarantee he is Mr Domestic Violence too.

Hullygully · 28/06/2011 22:32

yeah, but i rilly rilly love you tehthesrs you is v funny an that

ginhag · 28/06/2011 22:40

What tethers said (the first bit, not the love stuff.)

And what a fucking ridiculous op. A 'selfish parent' (ie me) who remains in the public eye with a crying baby and doesn't always disappear under a stone does not equate to a fucking psycho who would bottle anyone that disagrees with them.

This is so obvious I can't believe I have even bothered to type it out.

YABU, annoying, and a bit of a twat.

RobF · 28/06/2011 22:44

Restaurants should specifically state whether they are family restaurants or not, that way diners will no what to expect.

In any case, babies should be sleeping at 10pm at night.

The father in this case should be in jail, and his child should be taken from him.

celticlassie · 28/06/2011 22:47

Surely, even in a family restaurant a baby should not have been crying for half an hour at ten o'clock at night?

Maryz · 28/06/2011 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 28/06/2011 22:51

bloody babies should be hyng up on swaddling barod awhere the belong sand not interrupting peoples dinners

DuelingFanjo · 28/06/2011 22:52

the couple were thrown out because of the behaviour of the parents not because of the baby.

It's only polite to try to quieten a baby in a restaurant but I don't think it's objectionable to have a baby in a curry house really.

DuelingFanjo · 28/06/2011 22:54

"The father in this case should be in jail, and his child should be taken from him."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

skybluepearl · 28/06/2011 22:57

poor baby having a father like that. what kind of example will he be

ginhag · 28/06/2011 23:03

Sorry I had no inclination to answer the 'crying babiesin restaurants' part of the op as for some fucking reason they decided to use thi particular example of 'selfish parents.'

Someone got glassed in the head. This takes the situation away from any normal 'baby in restaurant' scenario, and the father definitely classes as something slightly beyond selfish.

It's kind of annoying me that after that op lots of people are just going 'hmm, babies crying, it's a bit rubbish' etc. The op seemed to state that this news report was all about that AND NOT ABOUT the man going for a fellow diner with a bottle.

I think it's a given that this is not a news report on selfish arents in general. And I personally find it completely weird that the op used this as an example of 'too many selfish couples'. Really? Are people regularly glassed for complaining about crying babies???

SinicalSal · 28/06/2011 23:07

I can be a bit selfish at times - greedy and lazy too - but I don't glass people.

Lucyinthepie · 28/06/2011 23:12

Well, we could try:
AIBU to think that parents who have a baby crying in a restaurant for half an hour late in the evening, which is disturbing other diners, should probably take the baby out or just leave?
I sympathise with the man who ended up getting bashed around the head to be honest. I think it is becoming more common that some parents seem to think that allowing other diners to be disturbed by their children for sustained periods of time is not a problem that they should do anything about. My latest would have been at about 9.00 pm, in a lovely chinese restaurant. Baby kept crying piercingly, mum kept getting up and brushing past our table to get to the window and stand directly behind my chair telling the baby loudly to look at the lights. Bloody inconsiderate apart from unfair on her knackered baby.

ginhag · 28/06/2011 23:14

But that is not this particular op is it?

piprabbit · 28/06/2011 23:16

I'm not sure that a tiny screaming baby is aware that, culturally, he is not Greek.

He will be vaguely aware that he is tired/uncomfortable/overstimulated/hungry (r some combination of these factors) and that the people who are looking after him aren't solving his problems for him - that is why he is screaming.

I think it's a very strong parent who can attempt to continue a meal in a public place after 30mins of screaming, most would give it up as a bad lot and go home. The fact that this particular baby's parent chose to assault another diner instead says more about the man as an individual than it does about the issue of babies in restaurants.

Poshbaggirl · 28/06/2011 23:16

Horrible story, feel really sorry for young parents struggling to cope. Of course they should be caring for the baby better, i wish i could have helped them before it all got so bad. Now hes in jail, the poor girl has to cope on her own (might be easier for her tho) and another dysfunctional generation begins.
Very sad for all.
The chap that was hurt was only speaking for everyone in the restaurant.
No one wins. Sad

Tryharder · 28/06/2011 23:18

I have no problem with children or babies in restaurants. But crying babies are unhappy babies and should be taken home. So, yanbu.

Tryharder · 28/06/2011 23:21

Exactly Piprabbit. There seems to be a culture in this country that babies cry because that's what they do and it is the parent's duty to ignore them....

No-one in Greece or Spain would let their baby cry like that. I hate to hear babies cry and would have said something to the couple. I have offered to hold strangers babies in public before now just because I could not stand to see that they were ignoring their distressed baby.

fuzzypicklehead · 28/06/2011 23:21

Just out of curiosity, would it have been better or worse for the mum to whip out her bap(s) in an effort to quiet the crying baby? Would that have been less objectionable?

(cause that would be my default reaction. not that I take my kids out at 10pm, but on the occasional daytime visit to a cafe, etc.)

thisisyesterday · 28/06/2011 23:25

i don't think it's about babies crying, or places not allowing babies or anything

it's about common courtesy

i have been out a fair few times to meals, when each of mine were ltitle. they did, without fail, sleep. i may have had to feed them, but they then slept. didn't disturb anyone
so there are circumstances where you could have a baby out late and it wouldn't annoy anyone at all

if my baby had been crying and i was unable to settle it, of course i would have taken it out and had it still not settled i would have gone home

the issue isn't the baby,,. the issue is the selfish parents.

piprabbit · 28/06/2011 23:26

IMO of course it would be better to feed the baby if it is hungry, instead of juggling it around ineffectually until it cries itself to sleep.

Maryz · 28/06/2011 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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