To treat my daughter the (younger) age she acts?

[NotaDisneyMum]

DD10 tried to sneak the uneaten crusts from her school lunchbox into the rubbish bin without me seeing AGAIN today - she knows full well that I expect food to be eaten, not wasted.

I have told her that the next time I find out it happens - I'll give her a packed lunch suitable for a much younger child; one of an age who I'd accept leaving their crusts.

We've had sulks, stomps and 'it's not fair'.

AIBU? Tbh, it wouldn't bother me if she managed to work out that she can chuck them away at school (I'm guessing that the staff won't let her) but bringing them home and throwing them away infront of me really irks -

[thisisyesterday]

you really wouldn't buy a food that your child asks for?

that's um... really weird unusual i'd have thought.

my kids often request particular yoghurts/cereal bars/bread etc etc. i see no problem with letting them have things they like.
doesn't mean we have it all the time mind you

[tazmin]

but I'm not going to buy wafer-thin ham for her (crustless) school sandwiches no matter how much she asks for it.

why not?

[tazmin]

every week before i do the shopping, I ask OH and children is there anything particular you want/need

they either say yes, please get some pasta/chicken/wine gums, or they say no thanks

shrugs and cant imagine what the big deal is

[NotaDisneyMum]

Tazmin - at the risk of being lynched further, I have fairly strong ethical, environmental and nutritional views about food. We eat fresh, locally and ethically produced food - I'm lucky to live in a part of the country where this is possible

I know I can't force my views on DD - and she lives with her dad half the time where she has a lot more influence over what she eats. If she decides that there is something specific she would like, then I'm not going to ban it from the house if she buys it but I won't buy something that goes against my own beliefs - and I don't think that she is missing out.

[NotaDisneyMum]

Holy - the MN suggested alternative has been implemented

[lovemyskinnyjeans]

You're quite right, OP, wafer thin ham epitomises everything that is wrong with the youth of today...

Seriously, would it kill you to buy a few alternatives she enjoys? She's not asking for sherbet sandwiches ffs!

[thisisyesterday]

ok. what's ethically wrong with strawberry greek yoghurt?

i can totally understand not buying cheap ham. we are veggie and if the kids asked for meat i wouldn't buy it.

but anything else goes really. I can't understand why you would not buy the people who live in your house things that they enjoy eating

[tazmin]

you dont need to get cheap ham, you could ask the deli to slice it wafer thin

[worraliberty]

You're quite right, OP, wafer thin ham epitomises everything that is wrong with the youth of today

[NotaDisneyMum]

I not sure this is the right place to get into a debate about the ethics of intensive farming and food importation - they are my views, and I stand by them.

The crusts are no longer an issue - thank you for all the constructive advice (from some) and I'll be staying away from AIBU in future as it seems that the rules DON'T apply here, no matter what the intro says

[thisisyesterday]

so you won't buy greek yoghurt because it's imported?

do you really only buy uk produce? all thet ime? clothes as well?

am genuinely interested btw as i would love to only buy british but find it very difficult

[michglas]

you are being completely unreasonable, do you want to giver her food issues? Why not just cut the crusts off and feed them to the birds? I have awful memories of not being allowed to leave the dinner table until i had eating everything including stuff i hated such as sweetcorn and brussel sprouts. Even now as an adult, I can't stand the smell or sight of these foods amongst others - they make me heave.

[ZombiePlan]

You say that you won't buy anything that goes against your beliefs (which is fine - I wouldn't buy non-free range meat, for instance, no matter now much I was nagged) - but I don't see why you'd then let your DD buy it. I wouldn't have non-free-range meat in the house, regardless of who paid for it.

You can get free range organic wafer thin ham. Also I don't see a problem with strawberry yoghurt. TBH it does come across a little bit as though you won't buy her food she likes "because".

[tazmin]

I thank the Lord every day I read this forum that I was blessed with sensible parents who made rational and sensible decisions :)

[sweetness86]

OMFG heard it all now!

[sweetness86]

My mom used to make me eat meat as a child like pork, lamb etc she knew I didnt like meat like that I only liked chicken but no I got made to eat it.
I used to wrap it in tissue when she wasnt looking and flush down the toilet! Now I still cant eat the meat mainly because i remember I was forced to eat it and now I gag at any other meat other than chicken great way to give your child a complex about food !
Its totally out of order and your child seems scared of you making a big deal of it makes it worse !

[NotaDisneyMum]

No, Greek yoghurt isn't all imported - there's a local dairy that make a fabulous one, that I add seasonal fruits too

[HipHopOpotomus]

Some people don't like crusts. Often it's the mankiest of the bread and worse there in so filling. YABU and quite controlling in forcing her to ear them.

[NotaDisneyMum]

Yesterday - yes, I buy as much food as possible grown/raised by local producers - and we grow loads too.

We eat seasonally, fresh fruit and veg varies depending on what's available - DD and I went mackerel fishing over half term for dinner, too

Funnily enough, it's the simple things that make it more challenging - last years onion crop failed in the uk, so British onions are impossible to find at the moment!

My choice doesn't extend beyond food at the moment - my reasons are that imported food is older than locally grown and irradiated/treated to keep it artificially fresh - I prefer to eat local, and explain to DD the reasons why so she can make her own decisions.

[SequinsAndSparkles]

Well, you sound like a hoot.

But seriously, you may want to gently start allowing her to make at least some decisions as to what she eats, otherwise you may find that when she is able to buy food of her own, choose for herself she will eat nothing but crap and all of the things she was denied. You are promoting an unhealthy attitude IMO.

[lovemyskinnyjeans]

Would that be Greek yoghurt, then, or Greek style yoghurt?

[NotaDisneyMum]

Sequins, if she lived with me full time , I'd probably agree with you - but she has a very different diet half the time when she's with her dad.
It's not like she's never tasted pizzahut, or is denied variety; it's just not mainstream supermarket brands on a day-to-day basis!

[lovemyskinnyjeans]

"My choice doesn't extend beyond food at the moment - my reasons are that imported food is older than locally grown and irradiated/treated to keep it artificially fresh - I prefer to eat local, and explain to DD the reasons why so she can make her own decisions."

But if, when she makes her own decisions (e.g. wafer thin ham) you override them, how is that benefitting her? You are controlling and somehow remind me of that dreadful mother in 'About a Boy'.